Merry Christmas Day

It was SO NICE to have Thursday off after Solstice!  (Solstice was perfect, by the way.... delicious dinner, all of the music I listen to once a year, a fire in the chiminea, then a soak in the hot tub.  Stayed up til 1 am: not quite til sunrise!)

I was able to sleep in, and we got all of our grocery shopping and errands done.  I got the Sauerbraten started for tonight's dinner.

I've never had the time to actually start is three days in advance like you're supposed to, because I've always been at work (this is a relatively new tradition, this is only my 4th or 5th year doing it).

Then, on Friday, I spent the entire day cleaning house...really CLEANING it... to the point that I exhausted myself, and we missed a birthday party we were supposed to go to.

But, being on chemo, and being that fatigued, I didn't need to be around 40 people all at once.  Too risky, with virtually no immune system.

Dave also went down to his dad's on Friday and got his groceries, and did a couple more errands.

So we stayed home Friday night, and watched our netflix, and then got in the hot tub again.

Then, yesterday.... Christmas Eve....

The new ham pan worked out PERFECTLY.... It's an oval roasting pan with a rack that sits on the bottom.

When I ordered the Virginia ham, I asked them to send me the smallest one they had, and it was just right.

It fit in the pan as through they were made for one another.

While the ham cooked, I listened to The Messiah, and I dropped everything at the usual part to bow my head and weep.

Don't worry, Daddy.  I will never, ever forget.

We had friends around our table, and we ate of the sacred ham and spoon bread.  Our guests (our friends Peter and Rita from Edmond by way of Switzerland, and my friend Julie) brought yummy treats, conversation, warmth, and laughter to our table, and to my "sacred night."

Before we all parted, we had our Courvoisier toast to those who are no longer with us

It was wonderful.

We tried to stay up to watch "It's a Wonderful Life," but we were both too tired, and only made it about half way through.

The only thing missing was Dave's son.  He did not reply to invitations, and was nowhere to be seen or heard from.

That sort of hurt my feelings, because he knows how big of a deal Christmas Eve is for me, but I guess he couldn't be bothered to even say "no thanks" this year.

As my brother put it, that's his row to hoe.

Today, we got up and opened our presents.  My sister sent giardinera and muffaletta and olives that we can't buy here, and a new Chicago Cubs shot glass, and a WXRT radio cd.  My brother sent a book about the Grateful Dead.

Dave and I exchanged our major gifts already, so this morning, we just had little things to open.  I got him a book and pajamas, and he got me slippers and fancy soaps.

Then we had cold ham and biscuits for breakfast.

Next up, we are going to go see the newest movie in the Star Wars sage, "Rogue One."

Going to the movies on Christmas Day is one of Dave's traditions.  Once again, his son is "missing," but our friend Peter, who was here last night, will be joining us. (just to be clear, we know Dave's son is okay, he's posting on face book, just not communicating with us)

When we get home, I will start a batch of gin punch, and get the sauerbraten into the oven.  It not only marinates for 3 days, it also slow roasts for 4 hours.

Tomorrow, Dave's brother and sister in law from Kansas are coming down to do Christmas with Pop.  We will go over there for a while, but tomorrow will mostly be about taking down all of the Christmas and Yule decorations and putting them away.

As many of you know, that's been my "thing" since my mother died overnight on the Christmas of 1996.

In other news, the cortisone shots have worked wonders.

The cyst is still visible on the left wrist, but I have full function back.  The right thumb still pops, but I can bend and straighten it, without it getting stuck in the bent position, and without pain.

I hope this lasts, because I really don't want surgery.  At the moment, I am VERY happy with the results.

Okay, time to get myself ready to go to the movies.  Merry Christmas to those who celebrate... Happy Hannukah to those who celebrate as well!

EDIT: it dawned on me today that this is a milestone, of sorts.  My mother died Christmas night 1996. 20 years.

Wow.

It's almost Winter Solstice...

...wow....how did that happen?

Thursday was all about doctors.  I managed to get my orthopedic doctor appointment on the same day as my monthly trip to the cancer clinic.

My appointment with the orthopedic doc went well enough, I guess.  He said that it's impossible to determine if the cause of my "triggering joints" is work related or cancer treatment related, so he recommended against filing work comp.

He offered to do cortisone injections right then and there, but I didn't yet have permission from the oncologist to receive any kind of additional treatment, so I had to wait.

The great thing was that the ortho said I could come back later the same day if the oncologist said yes, since I was headed to the oncologist next!

I have been in so much discomfort that I was VERY happy to hear that offer!

So, I saw the ortho at 1:30, then went to my oncology nurse visit at 3, got my port flushed with my lab draw, had my usual monthly injections, and the nurse texted the doc, who was off on Thursday, and got permission for me to go back to the ortho and get cortisone shots!

(I was a pin cushion on Thursday...port access plus 5 injections...gah)

They did one at the base of my right thumb (that one hurt the worst), and one in my left wrist.

They seem to have helped.

The issues with the left wrist are MUCH improved, and the right thumb is somewhat improved.... to the point that I did chores and laundry all day yesterday, and had very little discomfort for the first time in months.

The ortho said that if the shots don't work, the only other option in surgery.  I tend to disagree with that, but we will just wait and see.

In other news, this coming week will be a three day work week for us.  I am looking forward to that.

I don't know if I posted anything here about the ridiculous policy at my work place regarding being allowed to use our days off....but, be that as it may, I DO have an extra day off this week, so that I can actually celebrate both of my holidays.

I've never taken a day off for Solstice before, and I am very happy to have wrangled it out of my employer.
(Here's the nut shell version, I had requested-- and been approved-- to take Dec. 22nd off back in MAY.
They revoked that approval at the end of Sept., based on a policy that states that we can only take THREE extra days off around ONE of the Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year holidays.

I already had my ONE day off for our trip at Thanksgiving, which I had scheduled last year, and somehow, they decided that the ONE extra day at Thanksgiving equated the limit of THREE extra days, and so they revoked my ONE day at Christmas.

They said it was revoked and under review, because I had taken a day at Thanksgiving.  They said they might re-approve it, but that I would have to wait and see.

I suggested that the policy then be re-written, if the REAL rule is that you can't take ANY days at one holiday, and expect to be allowed to take ANY days at another.

They did not re-write the policy, and just said they would let me know later if my December date had been re-approved.
They made me wait until November to find out if I was going to get it back, and I had to ASK, because it had been forgotten about.  ALL of this after praising me for my work ethic, my superior attendance, and my lack of abuse of the time off policies.  Yeah.)

We are having very cold weather for Oklahoma this weekend, but by Solstice night, it should be good weather to have a fire in the chiminea.

Since I don't have to get up at 5:45 the morning after the longest night, I can actually stay up and celebrate it in the way that usually only happens if Yule falls on a weekend.  It will be nice to stay up far into the longest night.

Then, we are getting our ducts cleaned on the 22nd...how festive!

Our Swiss friends are coming for Christmas Eve dinner to help us eat the ham.  That will be nice.

Happy holidays, gentle readers!

18-24? No way...

Shortly after I was diagnosed, I read an essay by a journalist who had just died from stage 4 breast cancer.  In her essay, she said that the average life span for women diagnosed stage 4 was 18-24 months.

Two years ago today, I received my first bit of really, really bad news.

The first biopsies had been done a few days prior. 

Three core/puncture biopsies of the right breast without sedation. That was truly and utterly the most horrifying and painful experience of my entire life to date.

Those biopsies had revealed invasive ductal carcinoma. 

That diagnosis resulted in the ordering of a breast MRI, which revealed another tumor on the left side. 

That diagnosis resulted in the ordering of biopsies on the left side (done by a far more compassionate doctor, and not as awful), which were done Dec. 29 (?), which determined Tubular lobular (in situ) was on the left.

On Dec. 31, I was in the chair of an oncologist's office. 

He recommended a double mastectomy, and ordered a PET scan and a brain MRI.  By the beginning of January 2015, I had been to the surgeon for an initial consult, and had heard the worst possible news that I could ever have imagined.

Stage 4, bones, liver, and lymph nodes.  Average max life span?  5 years.

But today marks the day which started that cascade of horror. I think I will do my best today to celebrate that the "18-24 months" is OVER, and I am still here, and still thriving.

Next goal? BLAST past that 5 year mark, and still be here, thriving!

Yule prep

I can't believe it's December already!

Thankfully, I bought most of the holiday gifts for my family in October, and have the last few on the way now.  I should be able to get the box in the mail to them next weekend.

Dave and I exchanged our main gifts already, because he was with me when I finally found the shaver he wanted.  We will still exchange gifts on Christmas morning, but the "big ones" are already given.

He got me an iPod.  My work place has become insufferable in many ways, and having a music device with ear buds will be a life saver.

We also ordered a new big pan to cook the holiday ham in. That's kind of a house hold gift, too.  The old one was really cheap enameled ware, and the ham actually burned onto it last year.  It was not salvageable.

The ham is also ordered, and the cards are done.  I just have to print out my letter and put on the stamps.

We are in for some really cold weather this coming week, for which I am grateful.  I hope it kills off some of the allergens and bugs.

The person who sits next to me at work came in sick the other day.  I asked her to put on a mask, but she did not, and she had a nasty, wet cough... and now I am sick.  I don't have much of an immune system, after all.

I never got sick through all of the IV chemo, but this time, I am sick.  I have a sore throat and a head ache, and a stuffy head.  I've been drinking home made broth and tea, and a little cognac.

I don't think I am in any danger.  If I were, I'd be much sicker by now.  I have not had a fever, but have just felt miserable.

I spent much of yesterday resting, and I think that helped, along with my broth.

Roasted a chicken last night, and am now off to the kitchen to turn it into soup.