Sorry...

... I was in a 20 hour intensive workshop over the weekend and didn't have time to blog...I'll be back this weekend! 

Decisions

It's been a rough couple of weeks for the Bowen men, but they've pulled together and decided to place their dad in a memory care facility where his needs will be met full time.

Yesterday, Larry came down from Kansas, and he and his wife, and Eric, went and toured a facility close to where dad is right now in the rehab center.

They liked it a lot.  Then, Larry and Denise went on to another one for a tour, and dropped Dave and Eric off at our house.

The report was just as good on that one, so Dave will go today and check it out.

Dad needs somewhere to go on Friday.

Eric has suddenly reappeared on the scene with reports of a new girlfriend.  I hope she's good for him.  So far, that seems pretty obvious.

OH, and they took my advice (!) and put the dog in a boarding facility, where he is doing really well!

I went ahead and went to yoga class, and got my massage yesterday, and stayed out of the way.  This is supposed to be the job of the sons TO THE EXCLUSION of their wives.  It's specified in the trust paperwork.

Unfortunately, last night, I came down with a stomach bug of some kind, and spent the evening being violently ill.

If I have to be grateful about something, it's that it happened THIS weekend, since I am in a 20 our intensive workshop next weekend at the dance studio.

I've had enough of being sick now, thank you very much.

First, a nasty cold that I could not stay home and rest for during the "time off freeze" at work. It turned into a sinus infection because I couldn't take care of myself.

Today is the last day of the antibiotic being in my system..... and then that happened last night.

I have not been that kind of sick for many years. NOT EVEN during the most dangerous and intensive phases of chemo! 

My jaw, abdomen, and neck are sore from the forceful vomiting.  UGH!

Once that part was over, thought, I felt a LOT better, and was able to get some sleep.

At the moment, water is staying down, and I will warm up some broth next.

I was going to go with Dave to check on Pop's house, take in the mail, clean out the fridge, etc.... and tour that other facility with him, but I will be doing no such thing.

Weekend Update

Pop stayed in the hospital for 4 days, which wasn't purely necessary, but was engineered, by the doctors and social worker, to qualify him to be transferred from the hospital to a cardiac rehab facility.
There, he will have two weeks to adapt to his new heart medication, and to be trained on using a walker.

That was FAR preferential to sending him directly home, where he does NOT have full time care, and, most importantly, allow for time for the family to decide what to do next.

The brothers have talked at length, and after Dave was accused, and then exonerated, of trying to "get rid of dad," the serious discussion of where Pop should go next was finally engaged.

The full exoneration came about when reports of Pop's behavior at the rehab center started to come in.

Other than his usual delusions, Pop was physically violent with a nurse, and caused her to fall.

This backs up Dave's experiences with Pop as valid, in the brothers' eyes, at long last.

In the meantime, Pop's care giver has been hired as a dog sitter, and she goes to the house twice a day.  She walks the dog, and plays with him.

Dave has to go today, because she wanted a day off.

That poor dog....he's so lonely.  We are hoping to arrange for him to visit pop eventually, but right now, he can't, and the poor thing spends most of his hours alone.

I've suggested boarding him, but that has not been considered.  I think it would be better for him to be around people and other dogs, but my opinion doesn't count.

In other news, I have been sick all week.

My employer institutes an annual "time off freeze" in January and February, to punish us for being so greedy with taking time off during the holidays.

Even though they strictly limit the amount of time you can take off during the holidays.

Hmmm.... how exactly do we abuse the time off, if you don't let us take what we want? 

Anyway, during the freeze, you are not allowed to take any time off for sick or vacation, and are only allowed to make up a maximum of 2 hours a week if you have a doctor appointment or something.  You ARE also allowed to use FMLA.  You may take off for emergencies, too, but are given the usual "occurrence" mark on your attendance record.

This past week, I had my dentist appointment.

I have to go every 6 months, due to my ongoing cancer treatment (the bone building injections can damage jaw tissue, and the hormone blocker causes drymouth), but since it's not directly related to the cancer, I can't use FMLA.

It's not my fault that the date falls during the time off freeze, but I am required to make up the time.

SO, when did I get sick?  The same week as my dental appointment, when I had to make up an hour and 45 minutes of time off, AND I had FMLA time for my monthly injection, too.

That left me 15 minutes to go home and rest, if I wanted to make that up, too.

As a result, I had to work through having a fever and being miserable.  Unable to stay home and rest,  what might have just been a simple head cold turned into a sinus infection.

(funny side note:  at our monthly team meeting, the big boss talked about colds and flu, and how he preferred that we stay home if we are sick.... he clearly is unaware of the special rules we have to abide by in our department.  Special rules that were never approved by the board, and are not in the employee hand book)

Doc approved an antibiotic for me, and we picked that up on the way home from my injection appointment.

Then, Friday was Dave's 60th birthday, and we had tickets to a show we had been looking forward to for WEEKS.

I went, but I felt like crap, and didn't have much fun.

Yesterday, I was FINALLY able to rest, and BOY, did I!  Dave did all of the errands, and I stayed inside and warm.  I napped and read.  I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep last night, but I was wrong!

Today, my body is achy from being so sedentary.

Funny how that works!

I do feel a lot better now, though.  I'm three days into the antibiotic, and no longer have green goo coming out of my nose.

I'll have another easy day today, mostly.

After the chaos of last weekend, maybe we will get the taxes done today between Dave's trips to take care of the dog.


ADDENDUM:  The brothers have decided to board the dog!  Hallelujah!

Elder care

Well, Dave's dad fell and hit his head again.

The care giver got there for her Saturday visit, found Pop, and took him to the E/R.  Dave got the text literally as he was driving down for his weekly check in.

Dave notified his eldest brother, who has, up until now, refused to consider putting Pop in assisted living, and letting Dave deal with incidents like this (and other things) over and over.

Dave suffers from his mother's mental health issues, and is here alone with no decision making power,  and Mike does not seem to understand the impact this pressure has on Dave.

Anyway, they did a CT on Pop, and his head is fine.  It's just a surface wound, but he has an irregular heart beat, so they transferred him to a bigger hospital, where they have a cardiac unit.

That's where they kept him overnight.  Dave took the nurses a list of Pop's medications, went by the house and made sure the dog went out, was fed, and there were lights on.

It appears that, when Pop fell, he must have been in the kitchen, because the faucet has been torn out of it's place in the sink.

My guess is Pop was at the sink, his irregular heart beat made him dizzy or faint, and he reflexively grabbed the faucet as he was going down, or he fell TOWARD the sink.

Dave hasn't gotten details from the care giver yet as to where she found Pop, or why the mop was in the kitchen, too.

My guess is she cleaned up any blood from his head wound.

Pop's spirits were pretty good last night, but he has no memory of what happened, which is typical.  He has dementia, and doesn't remember anything anyway.

Dave is headed down there this morning.  First, he'll stop at the house, let the dog out, turn lights off, and collect some clean clothes to take to Pop.

My guess is that they'll keep Pop until some time Monday, after they do a few more tests.

In other news, we got the bills for Dave's stress test that took place in December.  Suddenly, we have to come up with $1000.00

I am grateful that it wasn't more like $3000.00

(We HAD planned to do our taxes today, so we can get our refund, and pay the bills, but then this happened with Pop.)

The stress test results shows that Dave has a little valve regurgitation (a valve that was damaged by scarlet fever when he was a kid), and some thickening of the right ventricle.

Nothing to be overly concerned about, but that needs to be monitored none the less.  For a man of almost 60 (his birthday is this coming Friday) who had a heart attack almost 10 years ago, his heart is in good shape.

He also is being put on stronger blood pressure medication, and a higher dose of statins.

Sigh....

This, after our "new" net pay for the year has revealed a $200 per month drop (due to increased cost of benefits, and my starting to finally contribute to a retirement account for myself).

Just freaking great.

Be that as it may, BEFORE we got those bills, and before we realized our monthly net income loss, we spent $50 on tickets for a dinner show to celebrate Dave's birthday.

We're looking forward to it.  It's "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" at the drag club we've been to a few times.

Our friend Lindsay, whose birthday is a day or two before Dave's, is meeting us there.  Should be fun!  Dave needs some fun....and we won't be able to afford much in the coming weeks and months.

ADDENDUM:  Mike sent an email to Dave and their other brother, Larry.  He's finally open to considering placing Pop in an assisted living environment.  I think it was Dave saying last night:  How many times are you willing to let Dad fall and split his head open before you'll think about moving him?"