Hope and heat

 Now, it's THIS weekend that is the hottest of the summer.  Yesterday's heat index was 112, after it rained in the morning.

This past week, I had a meeting with our company's financial advisor, from the bank that handles our retirement accounts.

We have what's called a 457(b), which is basically a 401(k) for people who work for government agencies. The municipal ambulance company is considered a government entity.

I rolled over the account that I had built up back home, over my 8 years with MediData in Illinois.  

Since the time when I rolled it over, it has expanded, and contracted, and at my last statement, there was not enough money in that account to last a year. 

I rarely look at the statements, since it's futile to keep too close a hold on something like that, with the swings it takes.

It hasn't grown much at all, though, and is currently in decline.

So, there's that, but we talked about other things, mostly, during my meeting.

Dave has had his first meeting with his company's financial guy, to start the process of retirement.  SO, I had all of his preliminary information available, and took it with me.

My main reason for taking the free advice was to take the free advice, AND to see if she thinks that Dave and I can BOTH retire, despite MY contribution to our household income basically disappearing.

Her answer was a resounding yes.  

I am not yet that confident, but we are going to investigate the possibility.

Dave has been with his company for over 40 years, and has been given hopeful news of being able to retire VERY comfortably. 

He has no heir, as his son is completely estranged.  We have no mortgage, no car payment.

I can't get medicare until I turn 65, if I get to that birthday, so we will have to pay cobra for me to keep the health insurance I have through Dave.

Maybe it could work, and I could find myself having the chance to live a little, before cancer takes it's victory lap.

My advisor suggested that I wait until my birthday next year to begin drawing my social security, as it would be a higher payment if I wait. That makes sense.

But... maybe it could work.

We shall see, and we have some time.  We have, however, already discussed getting our passports. 

There's not much else to report for the past week.  We were able to get out and walk in the mornings, on the days that I wasn't at the office.

My return to physical therapy was good, and I THINK I am feeling better in general.  It's a very slow healing process, though, unfortunately, and I am going to completely miss this semester of dance class and performance opportunities.  

I hesitate to start thinking that my dance life may be over.

I WOULD have performed in the spring, but they scheduled the show for the same weekend that we went to Arkansas for the eclipse, and got into the car accident that caused this injury. 

Sigh.

Well, I am off to make us French toast for breakfast, because I want it!!  

Nothing much planned for today, other than staying inside, though it won't be AS hot as yesterday.  I am going to make a pot of soup for dinner, because I want it... HAHA!

The Cubs game will help pass the time, too.

Have a lovely week!

Oven roasted

 ...or is it rotisserie?

The heat has returned with a vengeance. This weekend is to be the hottest of the summer, so they say.

So, today, we are not going anywhere, if we can help it.

My plan is to clean the guest room/my work from home space/yoga space, etc. space.

Dave has a couple of cleaning projects that I hope he will do, as well.

My treatment this past week went somewhat awry.

I have a different nurse almost every time, and this time, I had three.... 

The first one was not able to access my port, and I FUCKING HATE when that happens.  

I kept telling him to just do an IV in my arm, but he ignored me, and got a second nurse, who continued to poke and prod the port, trying to figure out it's angle, and where the "bumps" are.

She was finally able to get the port accessed, on her first try.  But....WHY DID THEY NOT HEAR ME?  I was starting to freak out, and it was starting to hurt! 

Fortunately, this is the first time this has happened at OU, and I have been going every 3 weeks since October. 

All of the other nurses have been able to access the port without issue, and so I was actually thinking about that on the way, and then this happened. UGH!

Anyway, after the second nurse accessed the port, a third nurse was the one who came with my various drugs.

One of the things I still hate about the place I go now is the impersonal nature of it all.

Anyway, as per the discussion with the pharmacist after the last treatment, the benadryl "push" was not part of the protocol, so I did NOT have the horrible agitation during my time in the chemo chair, which was MUCH better.

However, the cold sweats and insomnia that night were much worse than before.  I woke up at 11:30 pm and never really went back to sleep.  The sweats lasted until about 2:30 am.... and I had an AWFUL headache.

So, on Friday, I worked half a day, and then took the afternoon off because I felt so tired.  That headache was basically a migraine.

We have no way of knowing if it was just the intense heat and barometric pressure, or if it was the change of not having benadryl in the treatment.  I guess we will figure that out over the next few treatments.

Anyway, I had not taken any time off, due to feeling bad after any of my cancer treatments, since 2015, so there's nothing anyone can say about it.  I don't even feel the least bit guilty about it.

In other news, the steroid DOES carry the blessing of me being pain free for a couple of days!

I slept SO well Friday night, and the headache was gone, so we went to the Oklahoma City Pagan Pride Day festivities yesterday.

It was held a full month earlier than usual, and it was INDOORS, in air conditioned comfort, at the State Fair Grounds.  

THAT was the only reason we went... if it had been outdoors, there was NO way.

It was good to see my friends dance, to get lots of hugs from folks I rarely get to see, AND I even met two friends in person for the first time!  I had only known them on line before.

It was a wonderful time!  It really did my heart good to feel part of a community again.

We stopped for lunch on the way home, and then watched the Cubs game, and relaxed.   

The steroid made it possible for me to do all of my chores, go to Pagan Pride, AND so all of my physical therapy exercises!!  It felt like a normal day!

I wish that would last...sigh.

The good news is that I get to return to physical therapy sessions this coming week.  HOPEFULLY, everything is ironed out, and it will continue to be paid for.

I made another batch of barley and black bean salad for dinner, with red bell pepper, English cucumber, broccoli, scallions, and feta....and then we settled down to watch some old "Outer Limits" before bed.

SO cheesy!

I will check in with my brother this afternoon.  He saw his regular doctor this past week, and seems to be doing a little better than when I spoke to him last weekend.

Hopefully, when we chat today, he will be in good spirits.

And, speaking of primary care providers, my PCP is a P.A., not a M.D., but that's fine with me.  I had her labs drawn at the same time as my usual ones for treatment, and she contacted me asking me to go in a Statin drug for my high cholesterol.

I replied that my liver has enough to do right now, and how about we increase the fish oil she had recommended for me 3 months ago?  SHE AGREED, and so I got a stronger dose, AND will be shifting up our diet a bit.

It needs cleaning up anyway.... I've gotten lax in the last couple of years, and KNOW that I will feel better, too, on a cleaner diet.

We already eat salmon once a week, but I will hopefully be able to add mackerel (there's a fish market here in town that sells frozen filets), and more tuna, whole grains, and legumes.

We already don't eat very much beef.

Anyway, she will re-test my lipids in 3 months, and if there is not a satisfactory change, then I will start on a low dose Statin, but I REALLY do not want to!

Statins are why my brother is diabetic, and why Dave's brother has non-alcoholic cirrhosis!

That's about it for today.  I am off to make whole grain pancakes for breakfast, with sliced strawberries!

Had a wonderful week!

An abundance of rain

 We have had wave after wave of storms since four o'clock this morning.

Heavy, heavy rain, and lots of thunder and lightning.

I'll be curious to hear how much rain, once I turn on the news.

Dave had wanted to go out this morning, but he's still sleeping, somehow.   

I managed to go back to sleep for a while, between the rounds of thunder and deluge.

It's also probably not a good idea to go out due to all of the flooding there is likely to be going on out there.

I had to stop going to physical therapy due to insurance issues.  The attorney's office is involved, and I am just waiting to hear what the outcome is.

Regardless, I am still doing my exercises as consistently as possible, and took our second yoga mat to the office, where I will leave it.  It REALLY helped me to take both of my breaks on the floor, doing my stretches and such.

I can flop down onto the yoga mat in my office at home any ole time I want, but in the building, it's a bit more ... complicated... ,

Although, now I am at the point where I don't really care if anyone comes to my desk while I am on the floor, HAHA!

Not much else to report.  This coming week is my labs/treatment week, so only one office day.

I will have the lab draw blood for my PCP, as well, as she wants a follow up check on my cholesterol.

Today, I have a "Zoom" with my spiritual community, so that will be nice, and I hope to just take it kind of easy today, and hope that it goes by slowly.  I'll give my brother a call, at some point, to check in on his progress.

Have a good week!

EXTRA post....

 ..so... my brother finally came out on Facebook, and told the story of his heart attack, so I can now tell the story here.

He wasn't feeling well, at all, on a Monday (15th of July), and drove himself to the emergency department at the local hospital.

Ultimately, it was determined that he was having a heart attack, and the tests showed that one artery was completely blocked, and another was about 90% blocked.

All of his boasting of being in great health for a 71 year old, life-long smoker was proven wrong!

He was hooked up to monitors and i.v. pumps, and they did a balloon angioplasty to keep his heart going.  

His son, and my sister and brother in law, were by his side.

He stayed in ICU for several days, pending his TRIPLE BYPASS, and AORTIC VALVE REPLACEMENT surgery!  They did the surgery on Friday, the 19th.

Several more very difficult days in ICU, and then he was moved to cardiac step down, and eventually released home (after proving that he could walk a few steps), on the 27th, nearly two full weeks after he drove himself to the hospital.

His son stayed with him for the first week he was home, because he could NOT be left alone, and apparently they no longer send bypass patients to nursing care before they can go home.

Now, this week, he is on his own, and doing okay.  I've talked to him a couple of times, and he sounded much better the second time.

His recovery is going slowly, but well...and it's not, in any way, going to be easy.  

It will take time, and patience. Lots of patience.

He is still in a lot of pain (I mean...think about what is required to do cardiac bypass surgery), and gets very tired, very easily.

BUT, his prognosis is good, and he is determined to work hard to change his life, including quitting smoking, and hopefully changing his diet.  Because he suddenly knows that people love him.

Like that was a mystery or something.

Friends and family are coming by and helping out with meal prep, chores, and keeping him company.

Any and all prayers and good wishes sent his way will be appreciated. 

Saying good bye

 On Friday, we attended a funeral.

Someone who was very special to everyone who ever met her at my place of work was laid to rest.

Joanne knew everyone's name, and everyone's story, and she remembered every time she saw you, in the hallway, in the break room, where ever!

The first time I met her was in the break room, in 2013, and when she opened her mouth to speak, I heard MY Chicago accent!!  

We connected immediately as Chicago transplants, though she was from the south suburbs, and I was from the western suburbs, and we followed different home town baseball teams.

She worked for the paramedics side, and I worked for the business office, but we ran into each other a lot in the building, and she was always just SO kind.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, and getting ready to start chemo, she came over to our office with a dozen or so beautiful scarves that she had purchased for me.   She included information about where to go on line to learn how to wrap and tie them stylishly.... it was an example of her generous spirit, and kind nature.

She checked on me frequently during those first months of treatment, and when it was too hot to wear scarves, I just went bald-headed.  She'd walk through the break room while I was eating my lunch, and run a hand over my smooth pate. I could feel the love, even if we didn't speak.

Everyone called her "mom,"  especially the young paramedics and EMTs.

After we were sent to work from home during the pandemic lock down, she was the one person at the office that I missed the most.  She'd call me, once in a while, to check in, or to ask a billing question, or a question about how to use some of our system software.

Then we moved offices, and I didn't see her very much at all in the new building because it as so much bigger, and I was only there to pick up and drop off paperwork for the first several months.

2 years ago, before I started having to go to the office for full days, she retired, and we lost touch because we had never exchanged any personal information.

At the service on Friday, they parked an EMSA ambulance unit in front of the funeral home, and some of the senior medics wore their dress uniforms, with white gloves, and presented an honor guard for her.

It was beautiful.

My story was shared as part of the remembrances. 

The "EMSA side" of the room was PACKED.... the family and church side was only about half full.  That says a lot.... 

In other news, this past week was pretty much uneventful, which is okay.  

I got to go back to physical therapy, and worked my two office days.

My family member is doing okay, getting stronger.

We've had more surprising summer rain, and a cool front came through again a couple of days ago, allowing us to have open-window mornings (it was actually 69 degrees when I got up today),  and to get outside a bit.  

Dave has already been outside cutting back some shrubbery that's been scraping against the house.

Unfortunately, today is the last day of the respite.  I am very grateful for these breaks, though!

Wishing you, gentle reader, a lovely week!