How I met "ch" #1

So, where was I?

Oh yeah, getting around to telling the story of when I was first married, and struggling to survive.

Maybe I should start with how I met my ex.

I met my ex husband when I was on the verge of being 19 years old.

At that time, I was heavily involved in the "renewal culture" of the Episcopal church. This culture involved extensive retreat programs geared for specific age groups, and other demographics, such as married couples.

There was the high school level program, called "Happening," and the adult program, called "Cursillo," and the newest program, geared toward 18-25 year olds, was called "Search."

I had been staffing Happenings for a couple of years, since "making" my first Happening at age 16, and was gung ho to participate in the first Chicago area "Search" event when it happened.

My plan was to "make" a Search, and then get involved in the staffing opportunities, to help bring this renewal experience to my new demographic.

Search #1 was held at a church up in Rockford, that had accommodations for people to stay the entire weekend, in a "lock in" type of situation.

I have forgotten many of the details of the crowd, but I do remember that there was this guy in my discussion group who reminded me of the class clown in high school.

I had been out of high school for a year, and I was ready to move on. This guy, on the other hand, was a year OLDER than me, and still seemed comfortable in that role.

I pretty much dismissed him. He went by the name "Butch," for one thing. How juvenile was THAT?

As the retreat progressed, and I got deeper into the renewal, and deep spirituality of the event, he started to become more annoying.
I found myself wishing that I could switch to a different discussion group, but then, I realized something.

If I planned to pursue a career as a minister (which I did at that time), I would have to learn tolerance, and understanding, for people who annoy me!

Oddly, once I made that realization, he and I started to get along better, within the context of the retreat.

We even spent one of our breaks tossing a "frisbee" around. He was, apparently, HIGHLY impressed that I was a girl who knew how to throw, AND CATCH, a frisbee disc with relative skill!

Cut to a week after the retreat.

The phone rings. My dad calls my name...the phone call is for me.

It's Butch.

He asked me out on a date.

I had never been on a date before. The butterflies hit my stomach with a force unheard of before in my experience!

I said yes.....

He came that next Saturday night, and took me out for dinner.

I was, in a word, terrified.

As I watched his arrival in front of the house, I said something to my dad. I don't remember now what it was, but my dad was so sweet and calm.

He said, "Just be yourself, babe. Relax and have fun."