Moving along....

My weekend in Michigan was lovely, and much needed, though far too short.
I slept SO very deeply, and peacefully, in my friends' home in the woods!!
(Above are a couple of pictures--remember that you can click on the images for a larger view--and I recommend you do that with these!)

My first night back home, I was right back to the nightmares and restlessness. Sigh...at least I got a little respite.

So, back to the wedding story.

When I divorced my ex husband, his family was, at first, on his side.
Naturally.
However, as time went by, and the full story came out, and his family started to see him for who he really is, they started to contact me again.
Through this process, they also started to let me know, in no uncertain terms, that they did not blame me, in any way, for the failure of the marriage.

My ex husband's aunt, in fact, asked "What took you so long?"

Anyway, my ex mother in law had passed away from a heart attack before the divorce, so she never needed to know about the failure of her eldest son's marriage, nor about her eldest son's various addiction illnesses.

My ex father in law, after a time, began contacting me periodically. He would send me birthday and holiday cards, and sign them "Love, DAD" always with the DAD in caps.

He wanted me to know that he thought of me as his own. As the daughter of his heart. As more his child than the son I had divorced.

Dad actually contacted me most frequently, however, through his other son, my now late ex brother in law, Jay.

Jay was the family corespondent. He was the one who stayed in touch with everyone.

Unfortunately, Jay had muscular dystrophy, and he passed away, suddenly, a couple of years ago.

Anyway, one day, when Jay and I had been in correspondence, he sent me an email in which he told me that Dad had said that if I ever needed someone to walk me down the aisle again, he'd hoped that I would ask him.

Jay said that Dad said he realized that no one could ever replace my father, but that if I ever met the right guy, he'd be there for me.

This news touched me so deeply, that I remember bursting into tears upon reading it.

After Jay's tragic passing, Dad and I started to correspond directly. In the course of our getting acquainted again, via email, he reminded me that he wanted to give me away, if I ever got married again.

When I met Dave, I told Dad about him.
Dad said "I have a good feeling about this one, Daughter. You keep me posted, because I suspect this time, things will end happily!"

Time passed, I kept Dad informed, and Dave eventually proposed.

I told Dad, and he was thrilled.

More time passed, Dave and I did not set a date for a while. And then I got an email from Dad's middle daughter, Mary.

I had not heard from Mary for many, many years, and all that I remember of her was that she hated me for taking her brother away when we got married, and she was still a teen (that's another story for another blog....scary shit went on between my ex and his sister--part of the reason for the divorce).

Mary's email bore sad news.
Dad had fallen. He was ok, but he had, as a result of the fall, gone through a battery of tests.

He had been diagnosed with late onset (he's in his early 70's) Alzheimer's disease.

Dad then contacted me himself, and he nearly broke my heart.

He said "Please set a wedding date soon, Daughter, so that I can see you happy-- before I don't remember who you are."

I talked to Dave about this, and we decided to set the date.

I discussed this with my brother, the most obvious "back up" aisle walker, and he was FINE with being second in line, in the event that Dad would be too ill to attend.

My brother, thankfully, understood the gravity of the situation with Dad, and he, also thankfully, did not feel slighted by my choosing my ex father in law to be first in line! When I told him the story, he "got it," and told me not to worry.

After all, choosing my ex father in law to walk me down the aisle is, to the uninformed observer, a rather odd choice!!

But, now, perhaps, my gentle readers will understand better why I chose as I did.

So, Dad and I discussed what he should wear (I told him to be comfortable), and we set up the details...and the rest of this story can be told when I tell you about the wedding day itself!

I'll also elaborate on the henna party, and the trip to the day spa to get my nails done, in my next wedding prep post!!