The Big Day, part 2

Rasha al Warda, ala hobbitt
(more pictures are available at the link below)

So, after the ceremony, there was picture taking, while we continued to flail at the voracious mosquitoes.

I smacked one on my ex father in law's (referred to in this blog as Dad) forehead, and the bug was already bloated with a belly full of blood. THAT was messy...ew.

Once back in our cars, we told Dad what the plan was, so that we would all get to the reception together in caravan, since he had insisted on having his own car at the Arboretum.

We later realized that one of us should have gone with him!!

We dropped him to go get his car, and we SHOWED him where we would be waiting for him to pull in behind us before leaving.

He ambled off to parts unknown to find his car...which, apparently, he had NO trouble with at all.

Where he ran into trouble, we later found out, was in finding his way back to where we were waiting.

We were sitting out in plain sight, and we waited. And waited. And waited. We got out and walked around looking for his car.

We waited.

People were due to start arriving at the reception, so we had to head over. Without Dad.

Ultimately, we found out that he had, somehow or other, gotten behind my brother's vehicle, and had followed him and his wife to THEIR house.

The reception was not at my brother's house, it was at my sister's house!

I have NO idea how Dad knew to follow my brother, since he'd never even seen that vehicle before, but we were all thankful that he followed someone in the family!

My brother and sister in law had to go home, instead of to the reception, because of the reaction my sister in law was having to the scads of mosquito bites she received during the ceremony and photo shoot. She'd broken out in hives, and was not feeling well (she has some health challenges that make her hyper sensitive to odd things).

Anyway, on the phone, my brother assured us that he had looked over Dad's maps with him, and had taken a highlighter marker, and had very carefully, and clearly, given correct directions to Dad to get him from their house to my sister's house. Even given that, when he first pulled away, he went the wrong direction.

The Alzheimer's was, apparently, worse than any of us knew.

Back at the reception, people started to arrive, things were getting busy....and time passed. Dad never arrived.

The party was getting into full swing. People were having a great time! I heard that the food was GREAT (I never got any of it, other than a small plate of henna party left overs at about 3 pm), and the mingling and partying was going exceptionally well!

My dear friends F and P prepared to dance, and we all gathered out on the deck for their performances. It was overcast, horrendously humid, and hot...but it wasn't raining!

P danced first, and she was lovely, as always.

Across the deck, I saw my ex sister in law, and her husband, arrive.

In between dance performances, I rushed over to her, and asked, somewhat frantically, "Have you heard from Dad?"

She went white.
"No, I thought he was supposed to be here!"
So I told her the story, and that I didn't have his cell number, and that I had been in a panic since we realized we'd lost him.

She immediately got on the phone with him. I returned to my seat, somewhat relieved, and enjoyed F's dance performance.

Over the course of the next hour and a half or so, my ex sister in law and her husband managed to "talk Dad in." It's amazing that they could figure out where he was just by what he was saying was around him...because they are not from this part of the suburbs!

By the time he arrived, poor Dad was completely exhausted, because he'd been panicking himself, and he looked old and worn.

He sat in his car out front for quite some time, waiting for the return of some kind of calm. I went out and sat with him for a bit. He was drenched in sweat, and still somewhat confused.

This was, it later turned out, the end of his driving career.

He eventually came in and joined the party, had some food and drink, and felt better.

There were other things that happened at the reception, of course.
BHD gave the official toast, and I have NO idea what she said, but it was wonderful.

D removed my garter with his teeth, and M caught it.

I tossed my bouquet, and B caught it.

Most exciting of all, though, was that M and I had been in cahoots. He had called me a week or so before the wedding, and asked permission to propose to F at the reception!

Not only had F done the legal part of the ceremony, and helped put the reception together with my sister, and then danced at the reception....she would also be proposed to at the reception!

I was on board with the plan, and M and I laid out the details.

In the long run, my only regret was that, when I took F to present her to M, I didn't clue D in that it was "happening now," so he missed it.

He knew I had given permission for this to happen at our reception, but I was hungry, and tired, and overwhelmed, and still worried about Dad (who had not yet arrived at that time)...and all I could keep straight was that it was time for me to lead F to the living room.

When I got her there, M was waiting, with roses and a little box.

She didn't even really seem to SEE him, and turned back to face me to ask why I had brought her to the living room. I literally had to turn her by her shoulders, and walk her forward to stand in front of him!!

That part was pretty funny.

He's apparently asked her many times over several years, and she's always blown him off.

This time, she knew he was serious, and she accepted!

The weather stayed with us for most of the time. It broke out in a sudden bout of rain that was gone by the time everyone started to move from the deck toward the house, so they just resumed their seats.

People from my work made up the majority of the guests, including my BOSS, who usually makes it a policy to NOT become personally involved in ANY of his employees' lives.

It was very odd for him to come....I still don't know why he did that....but I was touched that he did.

The furthest traveled were BHD and hobbitt, from Washington state, and J and C, from Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Everyone said they had a really great time.

The cake was Portillo's chocolate cake, which, if you've never had it, I am sorry for you!

The food people brought was fabulous and diverse, so I heard, and, for weeks afterward, I was still being complimented on how much fun, and how relaxed and different it was.

Despite losing Dad, all in all, it was a wonderful, magical day!!

Reception pictures, taken by hobbitt, are available at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/druidlabs/sets/72157606265214890/

(why is is that my husband looked just as good at the end of the day, as he had at the beginning, and my appearance just seemed to degrade, with stress, and the heat, and hunger, and excitment? NOT FAIR!)