Thankfulness

When I became single, again, 6 years ago, I thought I'd be alone for the rest of my life.

I'd pretty much been alone for all of it so far, with an ex husband who abandoned me for his addictions, and an ex fiance who was never home because, I later discovered, he was cheating on me.

I had lost faith. Completely.

I was convinced that there was something wrong with me that caused men to THINK they were in love, only to turn their backs, and "leave," in one form or another.

It didn't matter how much I was in love....the more I loved, the more deeply I was hurt.

It was the fact of my life.

But, as my brother said, I was always an optimist, and so, I started looking.

Even in the depths of despair, I put myself out there, relentlessly, in search of the one person who could restore my faith.

I never did find him.
Not on my own.

I met lots of losers.
I met a few good ones, with potential... who, naturally, dumped me. One of them, after declaring his love for me, and bringing me to the brink of that myself, just... vanished.

I have a book's worth of stories to tell about the 23 men I met over 5 years....but, it took the intervention of a dear friend to stop the process of what seemed like an endless round of disappointment.

An innocent email: "Would you be interested in meeting a friend of mine?"

And, with that, I discovered that there might be hope.

Today, even though I am at home alone, and my husband is 800 miles away, at home alone....I am thankful for BHD, and her innocent email.