Holidays...the ending....

All is in readiness. The soup is in the crock pot. The vacuuming is done. The candles are lit.

The killer rabbit slippers are donned.

The guests are all saying they will arrive "around 8ish."

There will be fewer guests this year, than there have been in years past. In fact, only 4 are coming this year.

Jessie didn't even come down for Christmas this year, much less my New Year's Eve party. She's too busy with her new life in Michigan, now. This is a good thing for her.

Even after she first moved away, she used to always come over and help me prepare. Her help was missed this year, but not as much as her presence!

Another couple, dear friends, seemed to lose interest in coming.
Last year, they came right out and said they didn't want to come. THAT was awkward, but I guess I am glad they can be honest with me.

This year, they made some vague comments about having something else to do.

I obviously don't have a date this year.

Dave COULD have stayed here for the extra days.
The drawback of him doing so, however, would have been that he would have used the last of his vacation time, and he does not earn more until March.

We have only been seeing each other every 3 months, but it's nice to know that we COULD see one another more often, if the money becomes available.

If he'd stayed here longer this trip, and used up all of his vacation days, that option would simply not be there.

By him saving the last few days, we MIGHT be able to see each other some time in February, and since he turns 50 in February, that would be really nice.

Anyway, despite these changes, the party will happen, as it has since I moved in here, and decided I didn't want to be alone on New Year's Eve.

Last year, there was a Chicago Bears/Green Bay Packers game on New Year's Eve. Everyone wanted to watch it. This year, the tv will probably only be turned on for a count down.

I like my little party.
It's historically been the only time I entertain. It's relaxed, and casual, and low key. Everyone seems to like it very much.

So, happy new year to whoever may read this.

I hope that your holidays have been as nice as mine were this year, and let's all hope for health, happiness, TOGETHERNESS, and prosperity in 2009!

Holiday report, so far....

The Table

The Ham Master

My husband was here for the better part of six days, and I saw him off this afternoon, at around 3.

We had a wonderful Christmas holiday time together, and a really good visit.

The weather during the time of his stay showed him the full gamut! He arrived on the 23rd, which was literally a blizzard day. We got about 9 inches of snow, and his project for Christmas day was to go down to the lot and try to dig my car out of the space it was in.

He met a kind man in the parking lot, who helped him. Without that help, the car could not have been moved.
Imagine if it had just been me, by myself. I'd never have gotten the car out, and would not have made it to work on Friday! That would have resulted in lost holiday pay.

And yes, I AM a manager, but it doesn't matter. If you call in on the day after a holiday, you lose the wages for the holiday.

Christmas night, someone set their condo on fire, and the alarm went off while we were eating Christmas dinner, and the building filled up with putrid smoke.

THAT was lovely.

Fortunately, it was very minor, and there were no evacuations or injuries (we heard it was someone's kitchen).

We went out for a bit of a walk around the courtyard and building, and found everything covered with sheer ice!! It was very dangerous under foot.

The roads were covered with ice on Friday morning, too, so I called and got a ride with a co-worker.

Then, the weather changed COMPLETELY. The post-blizzard deep freeze and ice gave way to freakishly warm temperatures, and it all started to melt while I was at work on Friday.

The fog from the rising temperatures and melting snow was so thick that we put our errands off and stayed home on Friday night.

And, later that night? POURING rain and thunder storms!

The humidity on Saturday was so high that the moisture was condensing on the stairways in this building, and I fell down the stairs on my way out to do an errand.

I have emailed the management company, and they have not responded.

Fortunately, my injuries were minor. That's only because I fell on a three stair flight, not on one of the 10 stair flights.

My feet flew out from under me, and I crashed down on my right hip and elbow. The impact wrenched my shoulder and neck, and I also bumped my other elbow, both wrists, the middle of my back, and the back of my head.

I was not knocked out or anything, and nothing was broken. The wind was knocked out of me, and I was just bruised up a bit, and left with some pretty intense pain the next day.

Today, the only part that really hurts anymore is my hip, where I have a deep purple bruise that looks like the edge of a stair!

Christmas Eve was very different for us this year.

My family has some very firmly, deeply planted traditions about Christmas eve. I have written about this copiously in other blogs in the past, and do not wish to detail the traditions too much here.

Suffice to say that it has, mostly, to do with 2 specific foods.

It has also had to do, for over 50 years, with us gathering at "The House." This is the house my parents bought in 1953 or 54, and where we were raised. We three still own this house "in trust," but my brother and his wife and step kids live there.

My sister and I had never had Christmas Eve dinner anywhere else but there...in the house where we grew up...until this year. My brother had had it somewhere else once, MAYBE twice, depending on when our parents actually bought "The House."

Various reasons to change the venue came into play this year, and what ended up happening was that the ham and spoon bread, the two "necessaries," were prepared by me, IN MY HOME, where I hosted Christmas Eve dinner for the very first time.

I'd never hosted a holiday gathering for my family before--ever. Christmas Eve notwithstanding.
This has historically been because my homes have been too small, and I have never owned a dining room table, nor a table of any kind large enough for more than 4 people!

My sister came up with the idea to have it at my place this year because she was scheduled to host her in-laws' gathering, which brings close to 25 people into her house.

She didn't want to have to do both Christmas eve for us, and then Christmas day for them!

I do not blame her for that in the least!

Plus, my husband would be in town, and we had gotten married this year....and my place is on the market, and I hope to be moved before next Christmas. This was (hopefully, probably) my last chance, so to speak, to have everyone over.

The other reason is that my brother and sister in law, who actually LIVE in "The House." were to go to her family's Christmas eve this year.

The last time this happened, two years ago, the rest of us had Christmas Eve at "The House," while the people who actually occupy the house were somewhere else. It was just weird.

Then, last year, we were supposed to be all together at "The House," but my sister in law and her kids left, without saying anything, and went to her family gathering anyway.
That struck my sister and me as odd, and it made the idea of being there alone again this year all the more awkward.

SO....we changed venues.

None of us was terribly HAPPY about it, and it felt really strange, but it went really, really well. My brother and I spoke about the oddness of it on the phone, and I became very emotional. It just didn't seem right that a ham was not cooking IN THAT HOUSE on December 24th.

But, be that as it may, we had made the decision, and it would be FINE. What matters, above all, is that we HAVE the special foods, and, that as many of us as possible share those foods together on that night.

So, my brother had ordered the traditional dry cured Virginia ham, and he had his son bring it, and all of the necessary tools, over to me.

Dave and I cleaned my place, and we "winged it" with an improvised table in the dining room.

I have a small oval shaped kitchen table, and an antique "gate leg" table. We moved my massage table out of the way, and used the dining room as a...well...dining room! We unfolded the gate leg half way, and set it at the end of the oval table, and voila!

The table cloth my brother had sent, for my sister to borrow, worked on my improvised table, too!

My sister had sent over our maternal Grandma's china and silver, as well, when my brother in law had picked up my husband from the airport.

I used some of my old decorations, that were my Grandma's, too, as a center piece. It was simple, but it looked quite nice!

Everything came out perfectly, and the only disappointment (which was, actually, pretty major) in the whole thing was that my brother was never able to make it over to smell the ham cooking, and to visit with my husband.

His driveway at home was so heavily snowed in that it took him hours to dig it out, and then the car wouldn't start.

We sent the big ham cooking pan, and the platter, and the tools, and a huge portion of the ham, and a little glass jar of cognac, home to my brother, via his son.

We saved a big portion of ham, enough for breakfast on Christmas day (with southern style biscuits and honey), and enough to make 2 batches of soup.

I also saved all of the bones. I traditionally make black eye pea and Virginia ham soup for my New Year's Eve gatherings.

Dave managed to handle the ham single handed. He became a new family hero, as, usually, getting the ham out of the giant pan full of water is a two to three man ordeal!

My idea was to use something to "bail" the majority of the cooking water out of the pan, into a waiting receptacle.

This worked wonders, and D was able to remove the ham to the platter by himself. So, I guess we were a good team in ham management!

(said receptacle was a big plastic cat litter tub my sister had brought, since I had no place to just take the pan and dump it, like we do in the back yard of "The House!" The menfolk later took the litter tub full of hot, greasy, salty water down to the dumpster behind the tennis courts!)

I taught D how to cut off the fat and skin, and he carved the meat, without any guidance, in neat, thin slices.
It was absolutely delicious.

We made my ham bone broth over the weekend, and I made my famous/infamous black eye pea and ham soup on Sunday, so that D could have some.

The rest is frozen, in anticipation of my annual New Year's Eve party. My impending guests insisted that I have a party this year, when I had begun to make noises that I didn't want to proceed with it.... so that they can have this soup again.

It's really, REALLY good! If I do say so myself. And, I do.

And, tonight, I sleep along agian, and... Tomorrow? Back to work.

Blah.

Solstice sunset

Thankfully, we didn't get the 8 to 13 inches of snow predicted yesterday. If we had, I would never have been able to get my car dug out from it's parking space today.

As it was, it was 2 feet deep in frozen snow, which the plows had so kindly pushed up all around it (as I had parked at the end of a row), and it took me a good deal of labor with the shovel to get it free.

I don't think I re injured my back, though.

I'll know more tomorrow! If I wake in pain, there will be my answer.

As the sun sets to bring us to the longest night of the year, and I am not preparing wassail and waiting for my friends to come, I am finding myself in a strange emotional state.

I have been weeping a lot, and easily, lately.

I think just knowing that this is my last holiday season "at home" is getting to me on a certain level.

We chose not to have me host the usual Yule night celebration, because we weren't sure I'd still be here.

I AM still here, and I am horribly missing the scent of wassail, and the anticipation of sharing the longest night in celebration with my circle, HERE, in MY HOME, as we have always done.

We will be celebrating tomorrow, at someone else's house, after the sun sets on the first day AFTER the longest night...and it's just not the same.

Tonight, I will be with my dance friends, sharing a supper, and then coming home alone.

Perhaps I will do a small ritual tonight by myself.

The snow is starting to fall, and it will be dark soon.

If anyone reading this celebrates Solstice, I wish you warmth, love, happiness, and good fortune as the Sun turns in the sky.

Light is returning!

8 to 13

Well, it seems that Nature is giving us in the Chicago area another "real winter," like we had last year.

We had a 6 inch snowfall on Tuesday, after an ice storm on Monday night, and tonight....??

Tonight, they're calling for a HUGE storm to start with ice, and then dump 8 to 13 inches of snow on us by noon tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my company's annual year end party. We can't call it a Christmas party, anymore, of course.
It's to be held at the newest location of "Morton's Steakhouse," located just a few miles from the office.

We used to have our office in a different town, and we always went to the Morton's in that area for our year end party. Then, when we moved out to our current location, we took the trek back to Morton's the first year, but it proved to be too arduous of a trip for many of us.

So, the boss started trying other places, located in the same town as the new office.

These other places were ok, but Morton's is his all time favorite, and nothing else quite measured up.

So, those of us who have been with the company long enough to remember the parties that used to be there are REALLY excited, and looking forward to what we know will be a luxurious and decadent meal tomorrow.

(the best steaks I have ever had have been served at our Morton's year end parties. This is a restaurant that I literally could not afford to even walk in to, were my boss not footing the bill!)

Given the weather forecast, and the penchant my condo association has taken for NOT having the lots plowed, I made arrangements for someone from work to pick me up tomorrow.

I am "sort of" on her way, and she has an SUV that has a garage to rest in. So...she said yes, and I am SOO relieved.

I was really stressing about how the heck I was going to get to work in the heavy snow tomorrow. She was very happy to accommodate me, and said "any time, honey!"

My car handles OK, but if the show is too deep, it's very scary for me to drive those 10 miles to get to work, or home from work.
Last year, there was also that one time that the lots here at home were simply not plowed, and the snow was 8 inches deep.

If a neighbor had not come along to help me, I would never have even gotten out of my parking space, much less, been able to go to work.

This past Monday, after the deluge of rain froze overnight, I was unable to get my car out of it's space to go to work.
A 2 inch deep puddle had frozen around my wheels, and the entire vehicle was coated in a thick covering of rippling ice.

It literally took me until 10:30 that morning to get my windows clear enough to see out, and to finally get my car to rock back out of the holes in the ice where the tires were.

The sun was shining, and that was what helped me the most.

It was 7 degrees out, and my defroster didn't touch the 1/4 inch thick ice that had encased my car entirely.
I scraped and scraped and scraped, and made NO progress. All that accomplished was that my arms were sore, and still are, afterward.

It was a nice bonus day off. I did laundry, and actually took a nap in the afternoon, and got to watch "Jeopardy!"

In other news:

My idiot neighbor below was in fine form last night.

Every once in a while, he gets up around 1 am, and knocks on the ceiling to wake me up.
The first time he did this was on a Christmas a few years ago. Charming.

Last night, there was first the distinctive sound of him rapping with his knuckles.
Then, there was a series of HUGE "thuds," like he was jumping on the floor, or something like that....and then, he took his fist and pounded where he had knocked before. For about a minute straight.

All of this, completely un-instigated, and he only does it for about 2 minutes, in short bursts, so that a call to the police would do no good.

I have not reported him to management for years (because, after fining him multiple times, and it not making any difference, they finally told me to stop bothering to contact them.)...and I have not called the cops on him since he vandalized my balcony, also years ago.

He just enjoys doing this once in a while, for no reason at all. (Like the time he called the cops on ME for no reason at all. I was not even home when he had to have called them, because when they got to my door, I had just gotten in.)

I was sound asleep, and he played his stupid ass little game, and got his stupid little rocks off....and then I was awake for 2 hours after that, and had a miserable day today.

He is an EFFING ASS HOLE.
There literally are no words strong enough to express what kind of person he is.

Oh, and not only is there another special assessment being charged here, but I also had a client write me a bad check, and my bank CHARGED ME for her bounce!!

She now owes me $100 that I didn't know wasn't in my bank account!!! Her $80, plus the $20 my bank charged me for her phuck up!!

I need an effing vacation .... permanently away from here!


I still do not understand why the "universe," or "the Gods," or what/who/however you want to call the driving force of things would bring me Dave, and then keep me separated from him like this.

In a building where it is so very unpleasant to live....in a climate of which I am growing increasingly tired....with a job that keeps me in a constant state of stress....

What have I done to deserve this ongoing punishment?

At least, in the midst of a horrible blizzard tomorrow, I will get to have filet mignon, and can have a cocktail or two, because I don't have to drive.

The Honeymoon, part 2

Cabin in the woods
(click image for larger view)

So, after spending Sunday night at home, unpacking our overnight bags, and re-packing for a 3 day get away to the woods, on Monday morning, we headed off to White Pines State Park and Inn, (that's a clickable link) with a cooler full of snacks and booze!!

(after we stopped at the County building and dropped off our paperwork!)

I had been to White Pines many times in the past, so I had suggested it as an inexpensive, and lovely, get away for us.

My ex husband and I had come every Memorial day for several years, checking in on the afternoon of the holiday, and staying, when everyone else left.
We would often have the entire park to ourselves at that time of year, after the picnickers packed up and went home.

My family had also been fans of the place, my parents having made it a regular get away spot, as well, over the years.

It is special to me for many reasons.

I had not been there for many years, and I wanted to pay one more visit before moving out of state...and I had NO qualms about taking my new husband there, after having been there so much with someone else.

There was no emotional attachment to it in that regard. I just love the PLACE, and know that I will miss knowing it's so close by, once I move away.

From here, the park and inn are about a 2 hour drive, through the ever-more-lovely countryside of NON suburbia. Outside of the concrete and congestion of the Chicago area, this state is filled with beautiful, hilly, rural countryside.

We had reserved a "sweetheart" cabin.
The main amenity difference in the sweetheart is that the little refrigerator had a bottle of cheap champagne in it, and a couple of single serve bottles of orange juice, and a couple of cans of soft drinks.

Otherwise, the cabins are so small, they can't really add much to them. And, unfortunately, since it was July, the fireplace was turned off.

There was supposed to be a fruit basket, too, but when D asked at the front desk about it, they said that the website needed updating, and there was no longer a fruit basket included in the sweetheart cabin's price. Our only extra amenity was the "stocked mini fridge."

Stocked. Right.

He said yes, you should update your website, and we should get a fruit basket, because we understood, based on looking at your website from our living room in OKLAHOMA, that we were paying for one.

The desk manager did not agree. She just sort of made a "gosh, I'm sorry" face, and shrugged her shoulders. (I have since checked the website, and NOW they have removed the basket from the list of sweetheart cabin amenities, and have ADDED an extra page to the site called "special touches," where you may PURCHASE extra amenities for your already extra-priced cabin!)

That was the first dark spot in our stay.

Then, there were the flies in the restaurant during our first meal there, right after the conversation with the front desk.

I had felt a deep sense of dread at that point..."he's going to HATE IT HERE! What have I done??" I could see disappointment and displeasure all over my new husband's face.

I agreed that these two things were bad....but I had hoped that the whole place had not gone "downhill" since my last visit. I held my breath for a while, so to speak...hoping things would improve.

D eventually relaxed, and we found that those were the only two problems.

We thoroughly enjoyed our time there. (And the flies were gone at all of our other meals at the restaurant.)

We hiked in the woods every day, and we spent lots of time just sitting outside the cabin, enjoying the PERFECT weather, and smelling the fresh, piney air.

We sat outside by the fire pit one night, and listened to the woods. We were pretty sure that we heard an owl at one point.

We also got to see some kid throw up all over the sidewalk across the way from us. Lovely.

Too many smores.

So, part 1 of the honeymoon was "bright lights, big city," and part 2 was 3 days in the peaceful country, in a lovely little cabin in the woods.

Then, we headed home Wednesday after lunch, and spent Thursday at home.

Unfortunately, there is a good deal of favoritism in my workplace, and there is another manager of my rank who has more seniority than anyone else, AND she works special hours.

She is off every Friday.

One of the other managers had also asked for the week of my wedding off. She has more seniority than I have.

As a result, I HAD TO CUT MY HONEYMOON SHORT, and go back to work on Friday after the wedding.

D decided to leave that day, when I went back to work, instead of staying through the weekend, and giving us 3 more nights together.

I never quite understood why he did that, but there must have been a reason.

When he arrived home, he found out that his dad's health was failing, and he spent the next couple of weeks helping out with those details.

He has two brothers, and they did nothing to help.
It was all placed on D's shoulders, as the youngest, and the only one still living in the same state as mom and dad.

His dad, ultimately, had to go into a nursing home. The definitive diagnosis was late onset Alzheimer's disease.

The brothers both finally came to visit dad in the home some time in November.

I try to keep my mouth shut about it (though D will be reading this, and I HAVE made my opinion known to him previously), but this, to me, was too little, too late.

I do not understand family dynamics that are not....well...dynamic! Families should pull together in times of crisis. We should "have eachother's backs," not leave it all up to one person.

Anyway, while things did not end very happily for us, we did have a wonderful few days together for our wedding and short honeymoon.

It was three full months before we were able to see one another again.

Maybe some day, we can take a "second" honeymoon, and go to one of the places we have been dreaming of...and then, not have to say goodbye when the trip is over.

Arrival

Well, the snow came, and WINTER came, in earnest--almost miraculously as soon as December arrived!

December 1st brought a pretty intense weather storm, with a few inches of snow, high winds, and then a drop into the deep cold.

Over the past week, we've had the deep freeze a few times (the temp as I drove to work yesterday was 6 degrees), we've had freezing rain, we've had sheets of ice, covered with snow.

Out of nowhere, it seems.

Yesterday's high temp was something like 17 degrees, and then last night, it went back up into the 20's -- and you know what that means....snow!

I am going to stay in this morning, while the plows work, and at least try to get my box of Yule decorations out of storage.
My goal is to not hurt my back again in that process!

Then, later, I simply HAVE to go out and run some errands. There's no cat food, for one thing!

I gave away my humidifier last spring, thinking I would not want to have to move it, and we could buy a new one when I got to OKC.

I got rid of some of my stuff last spring, in anticipation of the hoped-for move.

As a result, not only do I need a humidifier, but I also found that I needed to go out and buy a few winter clothes, because I had donated some of my warm things.

My condo was supposed to sell!! I was supposed to be moved away before another winter hit!! While it's 17 degrees for a high here, it's still in the 50's in Oklahoma!

But....I am still here, and it IS winter....and it's already as dry as January ("experts" have even said this...that our weather shifted so quickly and so drastically, and that it really is intense as it usually gets in January!!).
My skin is itchy, and my lips are already cracking and bleeding.

So, I must invest in a new humidifier TODAY, and this time, I will just keep, and MOVE, the sucker.
I know I will need one down in OKC, because D's apartment has forced air heat, and, I think, that's the standard down there. No one has basements, so no one has boilers for radiant or hot water heat, like I have here.

The time I was down there when it was colder out, I thought I was going to dry up like a leaf and blow away!! The forced air heat was VERY drying.

I had forced air in my house that I once owned, but there was a humidifier attached to the furnace, so it was never a problem.

One of my dad's sisters, my Aunt Janet, comes to visit us at this time every year.

She is driving back home today, across our state, and well into another, through this snow. I hope she's ok on her way.

I got to visit with her last night and the night before, but was unable to join the annual family outing because I could not get out of work.

Sometimes, being a manager really sucks.

I will get back to the honeymoon story some time soon....hope readers in our northern climes all are well and staying warm.