What. The. Hell?

I guess it's because I've never been this sedentary before. Ever.

I guess it's because I've never been 48 before.

But SHIT! I work out three times a week, I eat right....and yet, I have gained as much weight as I put on when I was living with that ass hole who insisted I cook pasta for him every freakin day, and eat dessert with him every night.

All I can say is what the hell??

There is no room to clean up my diet. It's clean, because of Dave's heart attack back in December...and even before then, I started cooking healthy the moment I got here in September last year.

I guess it's time to drag out the SouthBeach books again, and really concentrate on those ideas. I hate that the diet is so reliant on dairy products that I can't even eat, though. Hard to find alternatives.

The frustrating part about this weight gain is that I FEEL the firm muscles from all the stupid working out...but I have this disgusting layer of fat over that muscle, that just makes me HATE to look at myself in the mirror.

I have never felt this bad about my body image. In. My. Life.

Anyway, in other news, after being nominated 4 times for employee of the month (the first time was before I had been there 2 full months, and I wasn't even eligible to be nominated!), I finally won.

It was a tie, though, so the other girl gets August, and I get September.

Somebody really wanted me to win it...because they kept nominating me! No idea who, and NO, I did NOT do it myself!

I get a certificate, my picture in a frame that the office will hang for all eternity, use of the employee of the month parking spot for the month, eligibility for employee of the year, and ... the best part...2 hours of paid time off during September.

It was cooler today than it's been in a while....nice respite. Won't last long, though.