I love my husband!

Not just because he periodically comes home with flowers for me, "just because."

Not because he can't wait to give me gifts, most recently, giving me my birthday gift 3 months in advance.

Not because he is the best sous chef I could hope for, chopping up the raw meat, and cleaning up after the meal has been enjoyed.

Not because he changes the litter boxes, and takes out the garbage.

Or holds doors open for me, and has trained me to allow that/expect that, after a life time of un-chivalrous men.

Okay, I love him for all of those things, the thousand OTHER things that he does for me, and for the fact that he does them all without thinking twice.

And also because he genuinely wants to do them, because he appreciates me, and wants me in his life.

Being kind to me, and respectful of me is just his nature.

This has been something new for me to get used to, and this has taken time.

Now that we've lived together for just over 2 years, and have been through so much in such a short time, I have adapted to being loved, and honored, and respected, and wanted.

And I have learned how to love in return. It's a pretty cool thing!

I've also learned, gradually, and a little at a time, to not fear imminent abandonment, or insult, or reprisal for not doing things "just so."

I've learned that I don't have to explain my actions, and that my decisions and choices will never be ridiculed.

This, also, is a pretty cool thing.

My previous relationships, one with an emotionally damaged and unavailable drug addict who abandoned me for his high, and one with a cheating man whore, who called me a bitch, insulted my very being when all I ever did was adore him, serve him, and try to please him......caused a lot of injury to my heart and soul.

The injury came mainly because I incorporated these "failings" into my matrix, blaming myself for being treated like shit.

There had to be something wrong with me to drive these men away, right?

Wrong.

Finally, after all of this time, and after David breaking down my walls like a valiant knight, I have come to a point in my life where I can safely say all of that was not my fault.

It was the fault of "those other guys," who now have new people to abuse.....and as David has said from the beginning, he is NOT "those other guys."

Never was, never will be.

I wish it had not taken me so long to heal from all of that, but healing takes place at its own rate of speed, and it is what it is.

Some people never find what we have. I know many of them personally....we are the lucky ones.

I love my husband!