Post vacation blues

Yeah, it was hard to come back to Oklahoma City after a week at home.  Really hard.

I went through a pretty rough week last week, emotionally.  It was the first full week back at work, and I really hate my job....can't WAIT for the promotion to take effect on July 1, so I can wait and see if the new job is better.

All of the ignorance and "hick-ness" of true-born Okies was really bothering me, too.  I am, by nature, a non-judgemental person, who harbors no prejudices...but Okies....good god.

NO work ethic, NO culture, NO clue.... The two I sit with in my cube spent the whole week whispering, looking stuff up on line, talking about celebrities and tv shows, laughing, on line shopping....doing EVERYTHING BUT working, and they both get paid more than me.

And it's not just them.  The vast majority of my co workers are Okies, and the vast majority of them are absolutely lazy, and spend their work days doing anything BUT working. Including my direct supervisor, whose name is Mia, which I swear to god really does mean Missing In Action because she is NEVER available. 

Anyway....Got through the week, and now, for some reason, I feel more like myself again.  Like I felt before I moved, I mean. 

More like my SELF.

That part of me that was missing....that bit that I went after by going home.  It's back.  Some little part of my soul was found and gathered up when I was able to spend a week with my roots.

I must have left it there. 

This is good.  Very.

The weather lately has been pretty nice, actually.  A couple of days of insufferable heat, but mostly, not too bad.  NOTHING like last summer or the summer before that, which were already hitting the 100's by this time.

We've been out bike riding a lot, and I love that.  Have done some yard work, and planting.

Unfortunately, I have not lost one ounce of the fat I've gained since last month.  This is the first time in my life when I have buckled down, stopped eating unhealthy snacks, exercising more, and have NOT lost any weight.

Even a few months ago, I could do that, and lose 3 or 4 pounds in a week to 10 days, and keep it off until I fell of the snack wagon.

One friend pointed out that when women begin menopause, they gain un-losable weight because of the hormone changes.  As soon as the process of menopause is over, the retained fat melts away.

Hm.  Since I am on hormone medication for at least another year to keep my periods from killing me, I have no idea if I am going through the change or not.

But it sounds like something I can blame this horrid fat on!  And I started gaining it RIGHT AFTER my 50th birthday.  How the HELL??!!  Started having knuckle pain then, too.  What the shit?!?!

I really want to lose that weight now, though, because I saw how I looked in the dance costume in May, and I am dancing in a show in August.  I will really NOT WANT to be seen in costume looking like I do now....I freakin' have BACK FAT!  Gawd! 

While I am not literally fat or even technically obese, I feel self conscious and ugly right now.  It's bad.

Well, I am off to sweep and scrub floors.  Haven't done it since before vacation, and it really needs it.