Sum uppance

SO..some lose ends from recent posts...

Dave still hasn't heard back about his interview results.  He's hoping it will be this coming week.

I never did get a call from my doctor about my blood test, so I called to request a copy of it.  Three times.  I FINALLY got it, and it turns out that the doctor didn't ORDER the usual test. She just ordered a "basic metabolic," with no test for blood fats or thyroid, the two things that have historically come up abnormal.

What the heck?

That was weird, as well as disappointing.  I had my hopes up that I had cured my own high cholesterol with diet.  But now I am back to having no idea.

I got lots of compliments on my short hair.  I am still not used to it, but it grows fast in the summer, and will soon be more "workable."  Right now I am not able to style it in any way at all, so I just wash and comb.

At least it's easy!

No more really high blood pressure spikes, thankfully, and I have been using the xanax VERY sparingly, 1/4 of a tablet at a time.  I love how it works for me, but I don't want to use too much.  It got me through a very rough couple of weeks, though.

We saved up a little money and were able to get the bricks for one end of the flower bed barrier.  Unfortunately, it rained hard YET AGAIN before we could do that, and there is even less of the top soil I installed left in place.  But we did get the wall at the end where it drains out put in place.

We figure we will have enough money in a couple of weeks for the next set of bricks, and then maybe a few weeks after that for the last of them.  THEN, we will probably wait til fall to load up the dirt again.  Maybe after I cut things back and put the bed to...um...bed.

My last day at Physicians Billing Service was Friday.  People either ignored me or were nice.  It was a pleasant day, actually, and I had enough to do to keep me busy for part of it, at least.

I packed up the last of my personal items, and I managed not to cry when saying good bye to friends until the very last minute.

And then, I am pretty sure those tears were pure relief mixed with anxiety.  It was a RUSH of emotions.  So weird.

But so, so good.

I hated that place.  The management is a cluster fuck, and the rampant favoritism is killing them.  Literally.  Already has killed them.

They don't seem to understand that the foundational reason they are being outsourced is FAILURE to run an efficient department.

The employee satisfaction survey results from last year should have been a little more of a motivation, but I think it was already too late.

In a time when medical billing operations are being drawn IN close to the vest for large and small groups alike, THEY are OUTsourcing?!  Just.  Wow.

Anyway, my new job starts tomorrow, and I have to drive waaaaay up to Edmond for the first  little while.

The storms that brought tornadoes within a half mile of our house, and knocked our power out for 48 hours back on May 24 were a LOT CLOSER to the actual EMSA office building.

So it flooded.  Badly.  And is still being de-molded and repaired.

My first interview there was after they had torn out the drywall and carpet, and that was May 29.  When I went there the subsequent times to take the test and to fill out paperwork, it didn't look ANY better.

My new boss said she HOPED they'd be back "home" by my start date, but, well, they still aren't done, and any amount of my using "wish craft" had not gotten it done in time, either.

As much as I hate driving highways, Dave made some suggestions, and my ex co worker Debbie (the one who can't write a sentence but has a heart of gold) made some suggestions, and I have a route figured out to get me up there without using the highway.

It's about 12 miles one way, so it shouldn't be too bad, and it's only temporary.  At least it's not 20 miles, even though it FEELS like that to me!

When the home office is reopened, I will be working 2 and a half miles or so from home, with an hour long lunch.  Sweet!

And the office is on this strange little triangular plot of land, and is between an ice cream parlor, a mom and pop burger joint, and an Irish pub!  Whee!

The rain we had this past week brought another cool front, and it is only 70 degrees at 9 am on the 28th of July.  HEAVENly.  The windows are open, and it's so nice to have the fresh air and to be able to hear the birds outside.

We have only had one day this summer that was over 100 degrees.  SO much of a relief!!

By this time the past three summers, we were already deep into the count, having started seeing highs over 100 in late May/early June.

Dave tells me that this is more NORMAL than what I have seen for summers since moving here.  BUT, he also says this summer in particular is strangely mild.

But that's okay.  The back of the exceptional drought is broken, and we are well on our way to be out of any kind of drought classification in this part of the state.

The only drawback is the bugs.  Oh. Dear. God.  There was one of those huge spiders in my dining room the other night.  Shudder.  And there are lots of webs when we go outside.

Ew.

Anyway...off to jump in the shower and then a day of thrift store shopping and relaxing lies ahead.

oh COME ON!!!

...and ...I just think this is funny at this point.... it rained for another 3 or 4 days.  All of the most recent 400  pounds of dirt I put in the flower bed... you know...that I wrote about in the post below...


is gone.

We still don't have the money to build the barrier.  It's not supposed to rain for 3 or 4 days solid in Oklahoma in July.

Jeezuz.

lost youth

So...the last of my youthful bronze hair is gone.  Got a drastic hair cut one last time.  Yesterday. 

Part of what was left of the length was what was left of my undyed, never altered, natural reddish brown hair.  Kind of sad.  But it needed to be done.  It looked bad.

This?  This....silver...platinum...pewter...gunmetal..... it's okay, I guess.

My mom said my hair shone like polished bronze when I was little.  I will never forget her saying that, because it was the only compliment I can ever remember her giving me. 

I wonder what she'd say about this.

Just. Wow.

Maybe it's a short coming.  Maybe it's a blessing.

But my natural tendency is to think the best of people.  To trust them.  To take them at their word.

My family knows that this has gotten me into trouble, especially with men, in my past.

However, there are things in our natures that we cannot change.  There are things we shouldn't change.

I am not an innocent. I just tend to have faith in people.

I gave notice at Integris Physicians Billing Service, and it was announced to all of my co workers by the middle of this past week.

I have gotten some very sincere congratulations, and some heart felt good wishes.  Even a nice card and gift from one sweetie.

But the part that really, truly stuns and amazes me....is the bullshit I have now seen revealed.

I have gotten sneers.  I have gotten "shame on you," and "you're a traitor,"  and one who actually IS a friend has told me that my former work buddies are "snitching on" me.

He said that it's good that I am going when I am....because a shit storm is brewing up with my name all over it.

Snitching on me?  Shit storm?

For WHAT?!

I have done nothing, absolutely nothing, but keep my head down, work harder than anyone else, and been friendly and kind to EVERYONE.  Even the ones I do not like.

Because I tend to think the best of people, and I cannot be unkind to ANYONE.

(I think this makes it so I am always shocked when people turn against me or don't like me.  I know, logically, that not EVERYBODY can like me....but sometimes the acid with which people express their dislike really does surprise me. Maybe because I can't do the same to others.)

So, if anyone is snitching, they have to be making up lies. 

There is NOTHING in my work record to snitch about.  There has been NOTHING in my behavior or treatment of others to snitch about.  I have been the exemplary employee, all sweetness and kindness and hard working.

But the situation in that office is such that those who are NOT looking for new jobs to beat the race to outsource are probably not CAPABLE of looking for new jobs.

They were lucky to get this job, because they are borderline illiterate, or they lied about having a high school diploma and have gotten away with it so far.  Or they have no credit.

And the management is the same way.  My boss's boss can't write a business letter.  And she's the operations manager, and she just got a big fat promotion ahead of the outsource.

Yeah.

So-that aside...the ones who are sticking around are desperate.  They are holding on to the corporate lies (and they are getting THICK), and they are holding out hope that there will be jobs offered after the outsource dust settles.

What they are thinking is that they have to make themselves look as good as possible so that they make the cut.

So, they are making stuff up in an effort to build themselves up.

That's the only reason I can think of.....because, while I have complained about work here, and in other formats, I have never, ever said anything to anyone at work, and I have always excelled at what they have given me to do.

This has never gotten me anywhere, because I am an outsider....my former boss even joked once about the only reason she ever spoke to me about anything was to hear my goofy Chicago accent.

No, really. She did.

But.. I have a work ethic, and so, I have kept working hard, even after telling Dave "I really should relax and do what everyone else here does...watch talk shows on my computer, shop on line, sit around and talk....but I CAN'T!"

Anyway, despite my decreasing wages (3 pay cuts in 3 years), and being penalized for not clocking in at EXACT TIMES while my cube mates come and go whenever they want, manipulating their times so they can sleep at lunch, etc....I turn in log sheets with 80-100 tasks a day, compared to those I have seen of my team mates, which have 15-30.  Literally.

And my team mates have both been there 15 years.

One of them is sincerely incapable of writing a sentence.  She literally writes at a second grade level..IF that.

I know. She has had me proof read and correct all of her emails and letters for 3 and a half years.  She has had me pre-write letters for her to keep in her computer for after I'm gone.

 I completely re-wrote her resume so she wouldn't look like a complete idiot when she has to apply for whatever job they offer her after the transition.

I have helped her keep up with her work, because she can't do it herself.

That's just how I roll....

But knowing her story as well as I do leads me to suspect the desperation I mentioned above.

So, anyway...One of my other friends said "you HAD to know this kind of thing would happen! You KNOW these people!"

But, no, I didn't.  I really, really didn't know this kind of thing would happen.  I haven't seen it happen with any of the 10 who left before me.  Why me?

She couldn't answer that one.

Dave says "That's why I hate people."

But I don't hate people.  I can't.

And this, this....really hurts.

But it also makes it really, really easy to walk away.  And I can't wait to do that!

Done

The anxiety was really getting to me yesterday, and I dreaded the thought of having this whole weekend to be dreading giving notice first thing Monday.

So I did it last thing yesterday.  My notice period still starts first thing Monday...but the news has already been given.

And it was SUCH a relief!!!

My supervisor was pleasant and kind about it...what else could she be?  She said we all have to do what is best for us in this situation.

She did NOT say "gosh, I hate to see YOU go..."  since I'm one of the few there who actually, you know, WORKS.

But the truth is?  She doesn't give a rat's ass.  She doesn't care.  All she cares about it if SHE will have a job when this bullshit process is all over.

Next I am supposed to notify my new supervisor of how it went.  I guess she wants to be sure they don't try to keep me.  HAH.  They're in attrition.  They can't.

Or maybe she wanted to know if they walked me when I gave notice.  They can't do that, either.  There are corporate exit policies, and since there are absolutely NO grounds to dismiss me, they have to honor my notice period.

Overall, I have been very unhappy at INTEGRIS Physician Billing Service.  The "management" in that office is a pure clusterfuck.

Which is, without a doubt, precisely WHY this outsource is taking place.  Duh.

I am very glad to be leaving.  The outsourcing just lit a fire under my ass to get me moving sooner rather than later.

Good bye to utterly mind numbingly boring work,  idiots at every turn, and being underpaid and overworked while colleagues are over paid and do almost nothing.

I am OUTIE!!!  Well, in 2 weeks, anyway.  But between now and then?  You can bet your ass, I am going to enjoy that thought EVERY DAY.

OH, and yesterday was our 5th anniversary, and was the anniversary of Grandma's birthday...so it was an auspicious occasion in many ways.

We went out for a very overpriced and surprisingly disappointing dinner.  Our former favorite place for a pricey night out....the Cafe Do Brasil.  The food just wasn't.... worth $100!!!!  VERY unhappy about that.  Oh well.

We have other favorite places.  That one's off the list now.

Dave found me a GORGEOUS wooden dragonfly wall piece that is basically a Celtic knot.  It's so cool!  I will have to get a picture of it up here soon.

We came home, watched a movie, and went to sleep.  Not a very romantic or remarkable anniversary. No flowers. No cards from either of us.

Dave said that's because we got married too old.  HAH!  I think it's just the heat, and the stress I've been under.  Sigh.

I think next year will be better because it will be on a weekend.

Today's mail brought the lease renewal from my condo tenant.  DEEP RELIEF when that comes!!!  One more year of not having to worry about what to do with the place.

Oh, and Dave put in for a different job at work.  He interviews for it next week up in Tulsa.  It COULD mean a possible move up to Tulsa.

I can't think about that right now.  Wait and see.

Had my trip to the foot doctor Monday. He said nothing's wrong on the xrays, which is good.  He said I probably chipped off a bit of cartilage doing a turn in dance.  He said those kinds of things can cause the intermittent pain that lasts for weeks.   I am to call if the pain starts up again.

It's been gone since the day after I made the appointment, of course.

Had the gyne on Monday, too.  She gave me a scrip for some Xanax for the anxiety.  It it helping SO MUCH, but I can only take a quarter of a tablet at a time.  Wow.

She did the annual blood draw, still waiting for the usual phone call that tells me something is amiss.  It hasn't come yet.  If there is no phone call, that means my numbers are all normal!!!  That's what I am hoping for.  If I don't get a call by Tuesday, I will call them.  I always ask for a copy of the results, too.

If my blood fats are NORMAL, that tells me without a doubt that the "Paleo" diet we have been trying to keep to is the best thing I've tried....and the funny part is that it runs counter to all of the "low fat low cholesterol" instructions we have been given for years!!

Oh well....I could still get a call telling me my cholesterol is too high.

Dave is outside cleaning out the shed this evening.  He started a few hours ago...it's 100 in the shade, and he's working outside.  He is going to be very tired tonight.

Keeping him hydrated with home made lemonade, coconut water, and ice cold beer.

Home made black bean soup for dinner....I know it seems odd for hot weather, but I just....wanted it!

Keep on keepin on!

So...this darned flower bed!

With the torrential rains we had this spring, almost all of the soil we installed 2 years ago washed away.  My plantings of blanket flower from last year did not survive, so these plants are new.  However, the black eyed susans came back, but they look very spindly.

But I AM DETERMINED to make this work!

Back in early spring, I found and re-located some peony bushes from a horrible spot to the back of this bed, and they're struggling to get established.  Having all of the dirt washed away killed one of them.

The ornamental grasses are doing fine in the spot where that icky little atlas cedar tree was, but everything else, including the spring bulbs, is really having a hard time.  I got no daffodil blooms this year, and the tulips came up, but then got devastated by a wind storm that blew them flat to the ground.

It's been looking like crap, so yesterday, we purchased another 400 pounds of soil and RE-filled the bed with fresh soil.

I carefully spread the soil around the plants that are  in the bed, including the ones I planted this year (new canna plants included, since the bulbs I bought and planted last year were clearly "duds.)

Added a really great looking yellow cone flower plant, and some coleus that we picked up for CHEAP at an "end of season" sale.  Yeah, it's the end of the season here already because the intense heat is coming.

Now there are pretty, house-color-scheme matching coleus in the window box, scattered in the bed, and in the box at the end of the porch (along with some marigolds and a creeping phlox I put in this spring that I am not sure is going to survive).

It looks a LOT better today than it did yesterday morning, and I am amazed that I was out there working in 95 degree heat yesterday for 2 solid hours, and never got a head ache!

Maybe my days of heat related migraines, that started in my 30's, are over?  One can hope.

Anyway, there are some pics of the plants that are doing okay, and a shot Dave took of the whole bed after I watered everything in.

Fingers crossed!

Next step is to create some kind of barrier so that the rains won't wash this load of soil away.  We have a plan, all we need is the money to carry it out.  Some day. 

Affirmation

I got an offer on the job.  It was for less than I make now, even after a very candid discussion during my interview about income requirements.

I said I'd have to think about it because of the pay cut.
(keeping in mind that the big boss who was invited in to my interview process came right out and said "we don't get raises.")

My potential boss said she'd double check the pay when she was back in the office (she actually contacted me to offer me the job WHILE she was on vacation. What does THAT tell you?)

When she got back to me, the pay was .50c an hour higher than it was originally, and she said that was the best she could do.

That's a .07c an hour increase from where I am now.  And if I never get another raise, at least I won't be going DOWN from where I am now, like my pay has done three times at my current job.

I tossed and turned for a couple of nights.  Then I said yes.

If she accepts my affirmation and my current employers notice requirements, I will start my new job on Monday, July 29, 2013.

DEEEEEEEP SIGH OF RELIEF!!!