Sorry I am so late in getting this posted....We needed to figure out how to get my pictures off of my phone and into the computer!
And, now that the pictures are in here, I can't freaking find them. (my last phone update took away the super easy way to get pics off, and now I have to use the "drop box" program, then put them on my hard drive, instead of directly into a convenient folder in "my pictures," and move them one by one into said folder. The folder I just created is gone, or is somewhere that I did not put it, i.e. documents, my pictures, vacation 2014.)
So. Shit.
Anyway....From 5/16-5/24, we were on a crazy fast trip around the central part of the country.
Our plan started out that we were going to take 2 weeks and go to far more places, but then we pared it down because the BIG trip would have been WAY too expensive, and tax refund money is finite!!
So what we did was head to Memphis, in the meantime, baby...but just for a lay over. Our Radio Paradise friend John let us crash at his house, and since he is a tour guide in the city, he gave us a down and dirty street tour. It was great to meet John, whose birthday is the same date as mine, for the first time.
We had some awesome barbecue, and then drove around. Saw the Lorraine Motel, drove by SUN studios, and the Peabody. Saw Beale Street from a distance. Stopped at the Memphis Brewey and had some craft beers and explored the old building that they are trying to get someone to buy to restore and make into a brewery again.
That was about it, though. We were in Memphis for 11 hours.
NOT long enough. I actually cried the next morning because there I was, FINALLY in Memphis, and we had to leave already.
We WILL go back with Memphis as a destination, not merely as a place to sleep.
Then, in the pouring cold rain, onward up to Lexington, KY to meet more Radio Paradise people for a craft beer before moving on.
Nice to meet Alison and Allan, and to see Rebecca again. We were asked to transport craft beer to our next meetup stop in Cleveland.
Since Cleveland was way longer of a drive from Memphis than Dave originally thought, we stopped for the night and paid for a hotel room outside of Cincinnati Saturday night.
Then the next day, onward to Cleveland, where we met friends at the Rock and Roll hall of fame and museum.
Beth and Steve, our hosts, met us there, as did Mike and his wife, and Kurt and his wife. All of these people are on line friends from Radio Paradise whom we had never met before, so it was really cool.
I am not sure how to express my experience of the Rock Hall, as the locals call it. It's clearly a museum of our generation's history, and as such, a little creepy and odd, while at the same time exhilarating and wonderful.
I was blown away by it, myself.
Maybe it's a good thing I can't get to my pictures yet....there are a LOT from the Rock Hall.
Beth and Steve fed us and put us up, and the next morning, onward to Chicago. But first, a stop to buy Yuengling beer to take to my sister and brother in law. At this point, I started calling this trip The Beer Runners Tour.
Most of the way across Michigan, we stopped at a brewery to sample more craft beer. We didn't buy any to transport this time, but we did pick up a six pack of Oberon for our friends in Missouri.
Arrived in Naperville IL around supper time on Monday, and went out for Chicago style pizza. Let the fattening commence!
We spent 3 days at home with my sister and brother in law.
Tuesday was just an easy day with meeting friends for meals (lunch at Portillos, and dinner at Greek Islands), and going around seeing old sights from my youth, which included a visit to the cemetery and the church. Oh, and a brewery visit (they only sold growlers, though...nothing we could transport home), and a trip to Binny's to buy Greek wine and local craft beers.
Wednesday was breakfast at Juicy O, and then the Cubs/Yankees game. It was very hot, and the sun was relentless, but it was fun. And yes, they lost. Hot dogs, beers, and frosty malts!! Peanuts and twizzlers!!
Thursday was a quick trip downtown to get lunch and a beer with another friend at the Berghoff, and to visit Russian Tea Time and the "bean."
Thursday night was my only chance to see everyone in the family, and almost everyone was able to make it. My sister and I cooked up a feast of pulled pork, potato salad, deviled eggs, home made guacamole, and we just stayed home and had everyone over. It was wonderful!
My nephew works at yet a different brewing company, and we enjoyed some of that beer, too. We had hoped to go to their restaurant for our family night, but this was better, I think.
Then the obligatory trip to the local dive bar, "The Squirrel Cage" for really bad beer and shots of Malort....a hideously bitter liqueur that is only found in Chicagoland.
Said good bye to everyone, including my brother in law who had to work on Friday.
Friday morning, we didn't rush to get up early or anything. Said good bye to the pets (the dog has since passed away), took my sister out for breakfast at Juicy O again, and then headed on to central Missouri.
In Missouri, we stayed with the friends who put us up the first night of the moving trip. It was good to see them again under less stressful circumstances, and in their new, much better home.
They are also Radio Paradise friends. Who had a really good local craft brewed beer in a "kegerator" in their house. I am not sure they appreciated our gift of beer purchased in Michigan as our thank you gift for letting us stay with them again!!
We departed their house, again in the driving rain, on Saturday morning.
Arrived back here at about 7 pm on Saturday. Tired, but happy, with beer from my nephew's brewing company, thus completing the Beer Runners Tour.
My friend Julie house sat for us, and that worked out GREAT! We worked together at my last job, and then she came over to work where I work now, so we are co workers again.
She needed a break from her troubled teenage daughter, and so being able to just live in our house and commute to work from here was like a vacation for her.
The daughter also got a week break from mom, and just hung out with dad, so it was good for everyone.
It also made it so that the cats were less traumatized because they weren't alone for all that time, with only a daily visit from a human. It was wonderful to come home and not have Jack mad at me!!
We had Sunday of Memorial day weekend to get our grocery shopping and errands done, and Memorial day, we went to a movie and the Paseo art festival, where we got rained on.
All in all, a very busy, but very good vacation!! And, with all of that beer and Chicago food, I only gained 2 pounds! Miraculous! (I gained 7 when we went last time, and stayed longer, and ate way more!!)
Including the vacation, Dave was away from home for 3 weeks, due to two weeks of travel for work before we left town. I think he's glad to be home.
If I can figure out where the pictures are, I'll post them separately.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Hot stuff
While Dave was away last week on a business trip, the air conditioning unit started making horrible screeching noises. Fortunately, it didn't start to do that until Wednesday, and Dave was home by Thursday evening.
Also fortunately, it was cool and rainy Wednesday night, so I did not cook inside of the house with no a/c. It was also coolish on Thursday and Friday nights. Leaving the windows open was sufficient.
So, Dave called someone to come see about it when he got home on Thursday.
UNfortunately, no one could come to look at it until Saturday, and then, as fully anticipated, they said "oh sorry, don't have the parts," because that's JUST how these things always, always go.
It was 84 in the house last night by the time we settled down to try to sleep. The good thing was that yesterday's humidity was only 38%....and we have fans, and the electricity didn't go out.
But there was not much sleeping. Sweating and tossing and turning. Not sleeping.
Today's humidity is 75%. Ew. Tonight probably won't be restful either.
At least for part of the day today we will be in an air conditioned restaurant for Mother's day.
In other news, we trapped another cat yesterday.
She had what the vet thought looked like a clipped ear (outward sign of a feral that has been through a spay/neuter/release program), though, so the vet suspected that she was already fixed.
I talked to the assistant about it, and said don't sedate and cut.....so we just went and got her without having her undergo surgery. I didn't think the ear looked clipped in the way that it's usually done, but I didn't want to put her through exploratory surgery just to find out she already didn't have a uterus.
Probably won't see that one here again. She hasn't been around much, so isn't one of our usual tribe.
If she is an adoptee, the people who own her are idiots to let her run the streets. That's my humble opinion. One of our lovely feral dog packs will eat her, or she'll get hit by a car, or someone will pick her up and abuse/kill her for fun, or poison her.
Ugh.
She did seem pretty wild, though, so hopefully, she's not fertile, and hopefully, she's street savvy.
Also, the last time Dave talked to the clinic about their free program, they let him know that it's every weekend now, instead of once a month.
This is exciting news, as it keeps our opportunities wide open for working on this neighborhood's colony.
Also? You are completely out of line, and out of your mind, if you think we are doing this for our own glory.
It has nothing to do with us.
It has to do with being compassionate and living our compassion. We believe that we are saving lives by preventing more kittens from being born, only to suffer and die on the streets.
If you think we are tooting our own horn because we share about it, you are not getting the message.
The message is that people need to take responsibility for situations created by people. We share about it to get the news out that there ARE programs, and that you CAN help.
Simply put, if we can inspire someone else to pitch in and help, great. If not, at least we're doing our part.
Are you? No, I didn't think so.
Also fortunately, it was cool and rainy Wednesday night, so I did not cook inside of the house with no a/c. It was also coolish on Thursday and Friday nights. Leaving the windows open was sufficient.
So, Dave called someone to come see about it when he got home on Thursday.
UNfortunately, no one could come to look at it until Saturday, and then, as fully anticipated, they said "oh sorry, don't have the parts," because that's JUST how these things always, always go.
It was 84 in the house last night by the time we settled down to try to sleep. The good thing was that yesterday's humidity was only 38%....and we have fans, and the electricity didn't go out.
But there was not much sleeping. Sweating and tossing and turning. Not sleeping.
Today's humidity is 75%. Ew. Tonight probably won't be restful either.
At least for part of the day today we will be in an air conditioned restaurant for Mother's day.
In other news, we trapped another cat yesterday.
She had what the vet thought looked like a clipped ear (outward sign of a feral that has been through a spay/neuter/release program), though, so the vet suspected that she was already fixed.
I talked to the assistant about it, and said don't sedate and cut.....so we just went and got her without having her undergo surgery. I didn't think the ear looked clipped in the way that it's usually done, but I didn't want to put her through exploratory surgery just to find out she already didn't have a uterus.
Probably won't see that one here again. She hasn't been around much, so isn't one of our usual tribe.
If she is an adoptee, the people who own her are idiots to let her run the streets. That's my humble opinion. One of our lovely feral dog packs will eat her, or she'll get hit by a car, or someone will pick her up and abuse/kill her for fun, or poison her.
Ugh.
She did seem pretty wild, though, so hopefully, she's not fertile, and hopefully, she's street savvy.
Also, the last time Dave talked to the clinic about their free program, they let him know that it's every weekend now, instead of once a month.
This is exciting news, as it keeps our opportunities wide open for working on this neighborhood's colony.
Also? You are completely out of line, and out of your mind, if you think we are doing this for our own glory.
It has nothing to do with us.
It has to do with being compassionate and living our compassion. We believe that we are saving lives by preventing more kittens from being born, only to suffer and die on the streets.
If you think we are tooting our own horn because we share about it, you are not getting the message.
The message is that people need to take responsibility for situations created by people. We share about it to get the news out that there ARE programs, and that you CAN help.
Simply put, if we can inspire someone else to pitch in and help, great. If not, at least we're doing our part.
Are you? No, I didn't think so.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Personal thoughts on living my Authenticity
I am not very far into them yet, but so far, my 50's have been about trying to connect, or rather, re-connect with my authentic self.
Authenticity has always been important to me in various parts of my life.
I performed living history for many years, and the group with which I worked strove for the utmost authenticity in our presentations. For example, there were absolutely NO wrist watches, eyeglasses, sneakers, plastic water bottles, etc. if we were in character and costume.
NOTHING that was not "period correct" was tolerated, which is exactly as it should be when one is presenting living history.
And in dance. My foundations in dance were to learn authentic Middle Eastern dance. The teacher with whom I worked, along with another very well trained and educated dancer, were referred to as the "authenticity nazis" (in good humor, no racial slurs intended) in our area of Chicagoland. I was counted among them, because I danced with them for 15 years, and learned to be authentic because of them.
So....how have I been evolving, to express and find authenticity in my maturing self, and in my daily way of being?
The first step was really simple... to let my hair be natural. No more hiding its true colors with dye.
For years, I dyed it warm brown to cover the natural red highlights, because I thought it was too brassy. My sister used to say "your hair's a weird color" in the summers when the red would get really loud when we were kids.
Then, as the years went by, I decided I wanted the red, but continued to dye my hair in order to cover the ever increasing number of silver strands, which started appearing in my 20's.
As mentioned in previous posts, after 25 years, I stopped coloring, chopped my hair off, and am letting it be itself. Now it's just growing.
The next part of trying to find true authenticity has been around paying more attention. A big piece of that has been to raise my awareness of my relationship to everything around me, and to pay attention to it. I used to be the one who would see the chipmunk in the vast forest, while everyone around me only saw the trees.
I want to be that in touch again with everything....
AND with myself.
And this is the biggie. I've had a couple of really good breakthroughs just recently.
Lately, I've noticed things coming out of my mouth (and out of my fingers as I type) that are not authentic.
They are from "old tapes" that go way back into my deeply set poor self esteem, and the attached fear of being judged badly by others, and ultimately abandoned.
Thankfully, I went to talk therapy for several years, and I know the source of these issues.
That fear has caused me to pass judgments upon myself that I am slowly beginning to see as inauthentic.
Just today, at dance rehearsal, I referred to myself using a phrase similar to: "I used to be a real dancer."
As soon as it was out, I heard it echoing around the room, and beating me about the head and neck like a crazed fruit bat with a hammer.
Why did I say that? But more to the point, why do I believe that?
I also said "I'm old" at one point when I was out of breath. What the hell? I'm not OLD, I was just out of breath! Jeez!
What is that all about?
My authentic self is fit, strong, and healthy as a horse, and always has been. I AM still that person....
So, just for the record, my authentic self IS a real dancer. I am admittedly not as well practiced and performed as I once was, but that doesn't make me any less of a dancer!
The other thing I have been going over and over lately is that I am also kind to a fault, and I also suffer from genuine, debilitating anxiety. This may be a natural combination for humans like me. Not sure.
Anyway, the impetus for this part is that I've recently had another experience with a former friend who turned enemy due to NO action or prompting from me.
After going over it and over it in my head, like I do every time something like this happens, no matter how close (ex husband) or distant (someone on the internet) the other person might be, is this....
My fear of being judged, abused, and abandoned, and my not having a single mean bone in my body, apparently makes me hyper-visible as a perfect target for people who are LOOKING for targets.
They see real gentleness and vulnerability, and their nature causes them to bare their teeth and lunge.
They're the wolves, I am the kitten.
I have experienced this kind of hatefulness a few times in my life, and it always completely shocks me, and leaves me reeling, wondering WHY ME, and ranting about it on line (I know this, and I apologize to my friends and family who are sick of hearing it from me).....because of the injustice of it!
I am authentically sweet and kind and gentle. I am a healer and a helper and am made out of compassion and empathy.
AND I need to continue to be those things, because it is part of living my life authentically.
And I shall DANCE DANCE DANCE like no one is watching.
I encourage you, gentle reader, to think about areas in your life where you might be able to increase your authenticity. Art? Music? Writing? Who ARE you...really?
Authenticity has always been important to me in various parts of my life.
I performed living history for many years, and the group with which I worked strove for the utmost authenticity in our presentations. For example, there were absolutely NO wrist watches, eyeglasses, sneakers, plastic water bottles, etc. if we were in character and costume.
NOTHING that was not "period correct" was tolerated, which is exactly as it should be when one is presenting living history.
And in dance. My foundations in dance were to learn authentic Middle Eastern dance. The teacher with whom I worked, along with another very well trained and educated dancer, were referred to as the "authenticity nazis" (in good humor, no racial slurs intended) in our area of Chicagoland. I was counted among them, because I danced with them for 15 years, and learned to be authentic because of them.
So....how have I been evolving, to express and find authenticity in my maturing self, and in my daily way of being?
The first step was really simple... to let my hair be natural. No more hiding its true colors with dye.
For years, I dyed it warm brown to cover the natural red highlights, because I thought it was too brassy. My sister used to say "your hair's a weird color" in the summers when the red would get really loud when we were kids.
Then, as the years went by, I decided I wanted the red, but continued to dye my hair in order to cover the ever increasing number of silver strands, which started appearing in my 20's.
As mentioned in previous posts, after 25 years, I stopped coloring, chopped my hair off, and am letting it be itself. Now it's just growing.
The next part of trying to find true authenticity has been around paying more attention. A big piece of that has been to raise my awareness of my relationship to everything around me, and to pay attention to it. I used to be the one who would see the chipmunk in the vast forest, while everyone around me only saw the trees.
I want to be that in touch again with everything....
AND with myself.
And this is the biggie. I've had a couple of really good breakthroughs just recently.
Lately, I've noticed things coming out of my mouth (and out of my fingers as I type) that are not authentic.
They are from "old tapes" that go way back into my deeply set poor self esteem, and the attached fear of being judged badly by others, and ultimately abandoned.
Thankfully, I went to talk therapy for several years, and I know the source of these issues.
That fear has caused me to pass judgments upon myself that I am slowly beginning to see as inauthentic.
Just today, at dance rehearsal, I referred to myself using a phrase similar to: "I used to be a real dancer."
As soon as it was out, I heard it echoing around the room, and beating me about the head and neck like a crazed fruit bat with a hammer.
Why did I say that? But more to the point, why do I believe that?
I also said "I'm old" at one point when I was out of breath. What the hell? I'm not OLD, I was just out of breath! Jeez!
What is that all about?
My authentic self is fit, strong, and healthy as a horse, and always has been. I AM still that person....
So, just for the record, my authentic self IS a real dancer. I am admittedly not as well practiced and performed as I once was, but that doesn't make me any less of a dancer!
The other thing I have been going over and over lately is that I am also kind to a fault, and I also suffer from genuine, debilitating anxiety. This may be a natural combination for humans like me. Not sure.
Anyway, the impetus for this part is that I've recently had another experience with a former friend who turned enemy due to NO action or prompting from me.
After going over it and over it in my head, like I do every time something like this happens, no matter how close (ex husband) or distant (someone on the internet) the other person might be, is this....
My fear of being judged, abused, and abandoned, and my not having a single mean bone in my body, apparently makes me hyper-visible as a perfect target for people who are LOOKING for targets.
They see real gentleness and vulnerability, and their nature causes them to bare their teeth and lunge.
They're the wolves, I am the kitten.
I have experienced this kind of hatefulness a few times in my life, and it always completely shocks me, and leaves me reeling, wondering WHY ME, and ranting about it on line (I know this, and I apologize to my friends and family who are sick of hearing it from me).....because of the injustice of it!
I am authentically sweet and kind and gentle. I am a healer and a helper and am made out of compassion and empathy.
AND I need to continue to be those things, because it is part of living my life authentically.
And I shall DANCE DANCE DANCE like no one is watching.
I encourage you, gentle reader, to think about areas in your life where you might be able to increase your authenticity. Art? Music? Writing? Who ARE you...really?
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