Saturday, June 21, 2014

My friend, Laura


  • A little while back, I got a text from my bestie from high school, Barb, telling me that our other bestie, Laura (whom I had known since Kindergarten), had lost her dad.
Barb said that Laura's family would be in southern Illinois (where Barb now lives, and where Laura and Barb's moms both grew up...this was how Barb and Laura have known each other since infancy--and how I met Barb when we were in the same school for 7th grade. Got that?)

I asked Barb to please pass along my deepest sympathies, and my desire to reconnect with Laura.

Laura and I had lost touch with one another a long time ago, due in part to Laura's extreme religious views. She was in a process of isolation, quitting her job, breaking with friends, and home schooling her kids because the world outside of her extreme beliefs was too much of a threat.

ANYWAY....this past Wednesday night, Barb emailed me. The funeral had been the previous weekend, down in Benton, IL, and Barb had news.

Seems Laura was abandoned by her husband about 10 years ago. Then, about 5 years ago, Laura, who had not worked outside the home since her children came along, was diagnosed with breast cancer.

The cancer metastasized into the bones before it could be caught. Even a double mastectomy did not stop it, and now it has also spread to her lymph nodes.

Because she was a stay at home mom, and didn't work outside the home for over 20 years, she did not qualify for disability. 

Because she got sick, she has lost everything, including her home. 

Her church, which helped her when the husband left, has turned its back on her, as well, claiming that they already helped her once. They won't do it again. 

Laura and her 2 adult children are currently living on her SSI, food stamps, and the little bit of money her daughter makes. Her son doesn't have his high school diploma yet, so he can't work at his age without that piece of paper.

She and her kids (25 and 20), who both have special needs and emotional problems, live in a camp ground, in a borrowed RV. 

They at least have that, though, and at least the camp ground has a toilet and shower house..... and they are waiting for section 8.

But section 8 takes time, and Laura doesn't have very much of that left.

They have bills, and doctor appointments (thank Goodness she qualifies for medicaid for her doctor and cancer treatment visits), one car for the 3 of them that needs gas, and also needs repairs.  

They have other bills, too, of course....like the cell phone and the camp ground fees.... the daughter completed cosmetology school, and has student loans. And they have to pay for the electric service at the camper.

They need food because the food assistance does not supply enough for 3 people, and was recently reduced.

They need money to go to the laundromat, and for deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, etc.

They need money for clothes and shoes when what they have wears out or gets ruined from too much slogging through the mud to get to the campground bathroom (it's been raining a lot in the Chicago area this spring).

So.  

Thanks to modern technology, and to Barb, Laura and I are back in touch, and she has opened back up to the world, and is a lot more tolerant of religious views that differ from hers.

She is dying, and her kids know it, and every day is a bit of a struggle. There are joys, too, she says, and she is really fighting to focus on that.
She is also fighting to try to provide for her kids in some way after she dies, but it's hard when there is nothing to provide.

I've put her in touch with friends of mine in her area who have offered to help, either with information and advice about working the aid systems, or with offers to drive her to appointments, or clean her trailer.

I have set up a crowd fund to try to ease their burden, at least temporarily, by providing cash they don't have to help pay for all of these day to day needs.

In 3 days, I have collected over $700.00 from my circle of friends, ironically, a very large portion of whom are not Christian. *smile*

The link is all the way at the bottom of this post. Simply click on it, and your browser will take you to the website.

If you remember Laura Palmer (her name is different now), or even if you don't, but want to help, please consider making a donation at the website below.   Even $5 will help.... $5 will by a bag of pasta, a can of tomatoes, and a bottle of lemonade!!

The money comes to me, and as I collect it, I will get Visa credit card type gift cards made that I can send to her. THat way, she doesn't have to claim our gifts as income.

The web site charges me a fee, though, so keep that in mind when you are considering your donation. Please be as generous as you can.

Anything will help. Remember that generosity does not have to mean money..... Share this link with your friends. You can post it on Facebook, too!

Or contact me directly with your ideas and offers to help in other ways.

And thank you.





No comments: