Too busy!

Too much I want us to get done this weekend!

Yesterday, we stopped at a couple of thrift stores, Bed Bath and Beyond, visited Dave's dad, went to a movie at an actual theater, stopped at a restaurant supply place, did laundry, and cooked a somewhat involved meal for dinner.

THEN, Svengoolie had Dracula on last night, so we stayed up until 11.

But my energy held out, and I felt great all day!

(no treatment on Friday.... so now I know that my recovery from Abraxane treatment will be quick at the end, coming up in November.)

Today, I want to hit a bunch of thrift stores and really work on this new wardrobe idea that I have been percolating since surgery in April.

Also, the steroids I get with every treatment have put me up to 150 pounds, and I can't fit into my jeans.

I need some "fat" jeans to wear until the steroid weight comes off again.

I HATE being this fat.

Okay okay...I know there are readers out there who will say "fat?  You're not fat, and you shouldn't judge fat people...."

Well, here's an alert:

You go right ahead and judge me if you want, but FOR ME, on this frame, 150 pounds feels obese and uncomfortable.

My clothes don't fit, and I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror.

Also, if you think I am a bad person for saying that I feel fat, and that I don't like it.....well, I have decided to let go of the impact on my body when others judge me, or accuse me of being something I am not.

(it's really quite amazing to me what people have accused me of being and doing over the years!!)

Wow, where did that rant come from?  Just putting it out there that it doesn't stick in my craw like it used to tells me that it still does.  Interesting self observation.

Oh well, it's all a process, and letting go of the bullshit is a process, too.

Anyway, I had also planned to cook two main dishes for dinner tonight and lunches this week, but there just won't be time.  I can do a double cooking thing tomorrow after work.

If the thrift store outing is a success, there will be more laundry done, and sorting through the clothes I have to donate the stuff I don't want anymore.

And then, I am supposed to get my office cleaned up for an actual, living, breathing massage therapy client who is coming on Tuesday after work!

But first things first....off to the shower.  Happy Sunday, gentle readers!

OH, and p.s.  The Cubs blew it.

Addendum:  the thrift store shopping was a TOTAL success!  I have purged the clothes I had, and am currently making both dishes I had planned to cook today.  I call it all a WIN!