4 years gone

My first biopsies (three on the right breast) took place on Dec. 8, 2014

This anniversary marks the beginning of my fifth year.

People with stage IV metastatic breast cancer mostly live eighteen to twenty four months after their initial diagnosis.

Only a small percentage survive five years.

When we get to Dec. 8, 2019, there is going to be a party, because I will still be here, and I will be cancer free, and will have been declared to be in full remission.

Last night, I remembered how horrifying and barbaric my first biopsies were. 

One nurse holding my arms down, over my head, another assisting the doctor, whose name just happened to be Paula.  The doctor was merciless and brutal, and I cried and actually screamed out.

No numbing medication, no anesthesia, and three core biopsies taken at different spots.

She left my breast with three un-stitched holes in it, and the bruises were still there months later, before my surgery.

The pain that night (and for days to come) was excruciating.  Throbbing pain, constant bleeding.... I had to go back the next day and have a nurse cleanse and re-bandage me,  because the wounds were still bleeding, and the blood had soaked through the bandages and my pajamas.

This was not something they told me to expect, and the nurse apologized, and said that that particular doctor was "pretty rough."

YOU THINK?????

As a result, when I found out that I had to go for biopsies on the left, after the MRI, I was petrified.

I insisted on going to a different branch of the same breast center network, and I insisted on a different doctor.... and the second set of biopsies (two on the left), was a completely different experience.

No one held my arms down.  I didn't have to scream.... I was amazed when it was over.  The doctor was male, compassionate, gentle, and apologetic.

It was unpleasant and painful, but it was not barbaric.

ANYWAY.... starting the fifth year is kind of an "interim milestone,"  (with the major milestone being next year) so I intend to mark it well.

In other news, Dave had a business trip last week, and when he got home Tuesday night, he had a couple of episodes of light headedness and nausea.  Like--he almost fainted light headedness.

I asked him to please work from home the next day, and to put a call in to his doctor.

He saw the doctor, and everything seemed fine. 

He has had no more episodes at all, and feels fine.

However, given his history, she is ordering a cardiac work up.

Those tests will effectively provide us with so many medical bills in January and February, that we are now being forced to cancel our hoped-for trip to the United Kingdom....yet again.

Between my out of pocket coming due all at once, like always (hopefully, I will qualify for assistance again), and these upcoming tests for Dave meeting HIS out of pocket all at once, we will be faced with a maximum of about $7000 in bills at the beginning of the year.

We'll see, but that's what we anticipate.  I may do another fund raiser if it turns out that way. 

There is SO MUCH to be said for socialized medicine.... people in countries with socialized medicine don't go broke, or end up homeless, because they have need medical help.

We still haven't been very successful at saving money, but I am putting my foot down about it, and will set aside a portion of every pay check NO MATTER WHAT...even if we have to eat ramen noodles for dinner.

Speaking of money, we are paying our yard guy to do an end of year clean up today.  I HATE to have to spend the money, but it HAS to be done, and we don't have the right equipment, or the physical strength, to do ALL of it.

Dave had planned to do it in stages, but never got started.

Once that's done, Dave will go check on Pop, and I will get my holiday letter written, and start addressing cards.

I have all of my gifts either sent or ready to send, the ham is here, and the guests are invited.

No, Eric will not be here. 

He has not communicated with us since he came back from Germany and brought us our souvenirs.

I even tried messaging him, and he ignored me.

Fine.

I never got an apology for that horrendous event last Christmas Eve, so I am really okay with him estranging himself.

Unfortunately, Dave is too.  It's sad, but it is what it is.