There has been a longing in me for several years to try to regain some kind of regular spiritual practice.
Back home, I was what I referred to as "heart mother" of a Circle which gathered eight times a year to celebrate the neo-Pagan holy days. Some people called me a Priestess.
I wrote poetry, and created group rituals, and set up a different altar arrangement, and had LIKE-SPIRITED FRIENDS IN MY HOME EVERY 6 WEEKS.
It was beautiful. Some of my ritual prose was really GOOD writing! (thankfully, I have paper copies of every ritual I ever wrote, given the passage of many years, and the changing of technology, there is no electronic copy of any of the older ones from the 90s).
My practice of Core Shamanism (look it up, if you are curious) was also far more active, and I journeyed for friends quite frequently.
In addition to that, I was still working as a hands-on healer in my side business as a Massage Therapist and Reiki Master. I also advised clients on nutrition and use of herbal medicines.
When I moved, I lost all of that. I was never really able to get established as a Massage Therapist down here, and then .. well.. cancer.
And, of course, all of my friends and family were back home.
Since moving here, I have met a few fellow Pagans, and have made some new friends in that realm, but we haven't done any type of celebrations together, and, even though one young woman considers me to be her High Priestess, I still don't have a Circle, and rarely, if ever, do I conduct ceremonies or rituals just for me.
The biggest deal has been that I did a Pagan wedding for that same young woman and her partner a little over a year ago.
Of course, now, there are not group rituals, thanks to the virus.
Anyway...the thing that I did....
I committed to taking a year long course in the study of a particular Goddess.
This course is based in the UK, but, through the wonders of modern technology, that doesn't matter. The only thing that might be a VERY minor complication is if we ever do any live stream / Zoom stuff, and I am in the middle of my work day while it happens.
Dedicating myself to this course will force me to observe the cycle of holy days, and to conduct ritual again, just for me, and to seek and meditate.
I am very excited about this, and look forward to the next observance, having started with my first holy day this weekend.
Dave drove us out to a state park so that I could find a secluded spot in the woods to begin. It was beautiful, and very encouraging for me to do this for myself.
This course combines so many elements of what has been missing for me since I moved that I just know, in my heart, that it will be VERY good for me.
In other news, we are experiencing a miraculous weather pattern! We've been SO FORTUNATE this summer, and the last round of rain has not only continued to keep us out of drought conditions, but has broken the back of another heat wave.
It's AUGUST, and we are seeing upper 60s at night, and 80s during the day! IN OKLAHOMA!! Normally, this time of year is brutally hot. I am loving this!!
Open windows in AUGUST! SQUEE!
Our mortgage re-financing is ALMOST ready to close. It has taken every bit of 4 months, and we are closing a month later than they said we would.
We were advised to NOT pay our mortgage tomorrow, pending the closing and the new, $200 a month LOWER payment, so maybe we will close this week some time.
Unfortunately, our state tax audit didn't end well. We had to pay over $600 for income that wasn't there, and we couldn't get TurboTax to help us, and the guy Dave talked to at the state indicated that we were screwed, so we just threw up our hands and paid it.
The guy said there should have been a number on such and such a line for "loss or gain for business," and that number wasn't there, so we have to pay.
??
My rental property is not a business, so we don't file a schedule C, we file a schedule E, and it shows $0 income, because there is always a deficit. The rent I collect doesn't cover the cost of ownership, and I don't want to rent increase myself into NOT having a tenant.
It's not a LARGE deficit, but it is a deficit, none the less. I don't want to make a profit on the property, I just don't want to have to go into foreclosure, or have to file bankruptcy because of it!
I was going to consider selling it, because it's finally worth more than I owe on it, but now, there is no market, so I am once again unable to unload it.
Next time we file taxes, we are going to pay the big bucks to go to an accountant, and get it done right.
Both Dave and I are still working from home, and in the past week, we have both heard from our employers that the work from home order will continue until after the first of the year. His stated it definitely, and mine hinted at it strongly, with the big boss saying "we won't be going back to the office any time soon," and the next day, my manager saying "I'm guessing after the first of the year."
In the meantime, my company will be moving to a new building some time over the winter. THAT ought to be interesting. (the new location SUCKS, by the way... Dave and I may have to buy a second car, because I will have a 45 minute commute instead of a 10 minute commute, and he will still have a 10 minute commute. There will be no possibility for ride sharing anymore)
Anyway, the work from home order is extended because Oklahoma is finally in the first wave of the virus, and our numbers are getting higher and higher on average.
People do not comply, they don't WANT to understand that it isn't JUST about them, because that's "how Okies do." Willful ignorance is a character trait.
Including my step son and his fiance. So yeah, we are estranged again.
Ugh.
Dave is going to mow today, since we were gone for the first part of the day yesterday.
I got most of my household chores done yesterday, but still have some laundry to do. I want to clean up the clutter in my office area.
I've been plopping paid bills on the area where my office phone sits, and there's a table in there that's a sort of "catch all," that has "caught" too much stuff, HAHA!
I will then be able to set up an altar area for my new studies, and not have a messy pile of paid bills to look at all day while I work.
Maybe I will get outside and clean out the unwanted presences in my herb garden. Grass, and a virtually destroyed comfrey plant. The grasshoppers have eaten so much of it, that it is dying. It's useless now.
I'll probably pull out the second year parsley, too. The caterpillars ate most of it, as I wanted them to do, and then they all got eaten by birds. It's just a sad reminder to me that I am not seeing butterflies emerge.
Happy August, and have a good week!
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