Rain, beautiful rain!

 After weeks of scorching heat, and no rain, most everything here is dry and brown, as I mentioned previously.

Well, it finally rained a little bit on Friday, and is raining again this morning.  

Unfortunately, we were going to go to the woods this morning, and I am not sure I can convince Dave to go while it's raining.

We shall see.

Not much else going on.  Had my injection last week, worked overtime, ate, slept. 

Kind of just dealing with being in limbo around my treatment plans, I guess.

The next batch of windows are supposed to be installed tomorrow, so yesterday, I moved everything in the office/yoga room (again) to make way for the installers.  

I also did a bit of work in the kitchen, clearing nick knacks off of the window sill over the sink, and cleaning off the extra table by the other window.

Today, Dave is supposed to work on the bedroom.  

This time, it will be 7 windows in all, as you may recall, because we now have to deal with a "job fee" for every installation.  

So, instead of being able to proceed at a rate of two windows at a time, and save up for them, we decided to take out a low interest loan, and get 7 done.  Then, next year, after we've paid this off, we can do it again.

Thankfully, this job is scheduled for a MONDAY, so I will be at the office, and miss all of the noise and most of the chaos.  The chaos not related to having everything in a jumble, which is plenty of chaos for me.

I am off to the shower, as Dave is up and says yes, let's go!  Have a good week!

The path forward

My day of getting scanned went well.  I did not panic while in the MRI machine, and was very glad to get that done first.

The bone scan process was interesting.  The machine moves all around you, while you lie on a table.  

But. When my phone rang on that same afternoon, and my nurse said "we need you to come in tomorrow," I knew the news was not good.

The bone scan revealed new areas of cancer.  The MRI of the liver revealed new areas of cancer.

Doc said it's not that the treatment program we are using now has stopped working since December, but that it's being challenged.  Cancer is "sneaky."

He said this is just another "well, damn"  moment, and surely NOT a moment to panic.

The really exciting part is that there is a new class of therapies available now, that were not yet an option the last time this happened about 2 and a half years ago.

 My tissue samples from the mastectomy surgery in 2015 are still viable, and still available.  They are being sent to a lab for genomic testing.  

What this will result in, hopefully, is a completely customized and targeted protocol aimed at my specific cancers (you may recall there were two different kinds), based on the dna in those cells.

This will take about 3 weeks, my insurance SHOULD cover it, and in the meantime, I am to just keep doing what I am doing.  We will continue the monthly injections, and I will just keep taking the meds I am on, until we have more information.

He said that many of the medications being used are oral, and immunotherapy-based, just like what we are doing now.  My nurse said they will try to keep me out of the chemo chair. 

There is also a newer type of radiation therapy that is used to address pain from bone mets.  This is staying on the "back burner" for now, though, because my pain is not constant, AND we want to see what comes through from the genomic research.

SO, all in all, I am highly encouraged, and excited by what the future might bring.  I am very fortunate to have survived this long, I know.... and I am even more fortunate to be here for new developments in the area of treating late stage cancer.

I wish my friend Laura had been able to time her cancer similarly, but, unfortunately, that's not how it works. 

Oh, and doc gave me the all clear to continue dancing, as long as I am careful.

The intense heat wave continues here.  They're saying it will finally break later in the week, and that we will have the coolest overnight temperatures we have seen in 52 days by that time.

Unfortunately, we will still be seeing daily highs between 103 and 105 continuing until then.

There could be some rain with that cooling front, too, which is far too late to save cattle and crops in this mostly agricultural state. 

I do not exaggerate when I say that everything out there has turned brown and crisp in the past few weeks.

Even my black eyed susans, which are drought tolerant, native prairie plants, are struggling.  Same with our neighbor two doors down, so I know it's not my fault, HAHA.

We water morning and evening, since the local water supply is still looking good, and no restrictions have been placed yet.  

Dave waters the front flower bed, where the susans are.  We give our willow tree an hour in the evenings, and she has stopped dropping her leaves. 

I water what survives in the back, in what was my herb garden, but what is now sunflowers and sage, and the struggling herbs in a couple of pots.  My petunia plant continues to bloom, but the stalks are brown, and there are no leaves.  It's weird!

I keep planting my scallion roots in the big pots, but it's been too hot for them to even think about growing new scallions for me. 

I also keep bowls of water filled out back, and the bird bath, and have seen insects drinking, as well as the occasional cat.

Our feral population has been very scarce since the new cats moved in with the jerk neighbors, but once in a while, someone shows up.

Anyway...We got errands and chores mostly done yesterday. Dave will go to Costco this morning. I have a virtual meeting with my spiritual community, and hope to take a leisurely nap this afternoon.

This past week was very stressful, and I am needing this restful weekend.

Back to a full week of work, starting tomorrow. 

Our new director comes on board this week.  Not sure which day she starts. I have not met her yet, because the day that she came in to meet people was not a Monday, so I was not in the office.

Hopefully, she will adapt to our "re-made" office culture, rather than try to micromanage us back into the stone age.

I am off to the shower.  Have a good week!

Testing this week

 My testing day is Wednesday, at last.

The anxiety is mounting, and I find it overwhelming at times.

I need to arrive at 7:45 am to check in at the hospital.  They will give me some kind of injection that takes hours to go through my body for the nuclear bone scan, and in the meantime, they will do the liver MRI with contrast, so they'll put in an IV and get me going on that.

My appointment with my doctor is then a week later. Unless they are so alarmed that they call me in sooner.

This has happened before, which is why I am utterly terrified.

I am not ready to die, and I am not ready to go back to being bald, or sick.

In the meantime, we are up at sunrise to go walking in the woods.  I need this time, today, especially.

It's going to be 106 degrees this afternoon, and into the 110 region this coming week, so this morning is my last chance before the big day Wednesday.

Have a good Sunday. 

Big skies and long days

 Our "farm stay" vacation (at an extremely affordable Air BnB property) was healing, restorative, and relaxing.

We got lost finding the place last Saturday, as the WAZE app I was using put us at the correct "fire number" address, but in the wrong town, where there wasn't even a building at the site.

Contacted the host, and she gave us the zip code, and got us on track, but we were over an hour in the wrong direction.  

As expected, I could not get Dave moving that morning, and even though the host said we could arrive as early as noon, after leaving late, and getting misdirected, we did not get to the farm until almost 5.

With no stops, it should have been about 2 hours, instead of taking us from 11 am until 5 pm to get there.  We stopped for lunch, and for a potty break, and we were stopped for quite a while when we were lost.

Once there, we got to see amazing, wide skies.... storms building, rolling across the sky, and breaking up, all a hundred miles away.  Rainbows, and spectacular sunrises and sunsets.

One of those storms brought us an afternoon rain shower, and the sound of rain falling on a tin roof was checked off of my wish list.

We did fires in the fire pit the first two nights, but after that, it was too hot out at night.  The 4th of July was quiet, except for community fireworks in the far distance.  

We could hear an owl, and whip-poor-wills, outside every night.

Dave got the telescope set up one night, but the other nights, it was either too hot, or cloudy.

I got up at sunrise every day, and would sit outside in the cool of the morning, to drink my coffee and do a little spiritual work.  

Coyotes sing at dawn, as well as at dusk!   

We also had meadowlarks, red headed wood peckers, scissor tailed fly catchers, wild turkey, and lots of sparrows, though all we ever saw of the turkey was feathers in the meadow.  There was a pair of sharp shinned hawks who had their territory over the farm, and lots of crows and buzzards.

We also saw what we think was a rat snake chase, catch, and eat a large toad on our first day out there.

There were deer on the property every day.... two families, each with a doe, and one with twin fawns.  I saw the twins very close up on my first early morning coffee sipping "sit." SO precious!!

I can't remember ever seeing a fawn before, and on this trip, I got to see three!

I had also hoped to see a buck in velvet, for the first time.... but, sadly, the only one that I saw was dead by the side of the road.  It broke my heart.

And, of course, the herd of cattle managed on the farm.

There is a creek on the property, and a few mornings, we went down there to explore, and look for wildlife tracks.  Saw coyote, bobcat, deer, raccoon, and possum tracks.   

I waded in the creek a couple of times, and got a free pedicure.  The sandy shore and creek bed were great for my callused and dry feet... not to mention, the sand that was stuck to my feet, and inside of my "sport sandals" on the walk back!

After our morning meanders on the property, we would come back to the converted barn, have breakfast, and then decide if we wanted to go on a morning adventure, to avoid the heat of the afternoons.  

(this was why I had originally scheduled our trip for New Mexico, where it is 20 degrees cooler during the day, and in the 60s at night, but turned out to be rainy season, and getting around would require a four wheel drive vehicle.)

We did not do this on Sunday or Monday, though... we just relaxed on the property those days.

On Tuesday, we went to the caves at Alabaster Caverns, and saw lots of bats during the underground tour.  It was delightfully cool underground!!  I had been there with Dave (and some friends) a few years ago, maybe 2017, but it was nice to go back. 

Wednesday, we went to Boiling Springs state park to escape the big skies, and walk among some trees.

Aside:  We both discovered, on this trip, that we are not big sky people.  I really enjoyed visiting, but would not be comfortable living out there in the wide open spaces.  The sheer brightness was really bothering my eyes after a couple of days. 

Our hostess said that she can't go outside without sunglasses and a brimmed hat. I totally understand!

Thursday, we went to Gloss Mountain state park, and discovered that I was in too much pain that day to climb up the steep stairway all the way to the top (and there was only one entrance, and one way up), so we left there, and went to an Oklahoma Historical Society site where they've preserved the last sod house on the prairie, and have built a museum around it.  It was REALLY interesting, and it was air conditioned, and had plumbing!  

That helped my overall attitude of disappointment over not being able to spend the morning at Gloss Mountain, which is located in an area of mesas and high plains.... We had hoped to see jack rabbits, and some lizards, but instead, we mostly saw the inside of the car.  I did get some great pictures, though.

Then, Friday, we went up to the town of Enid to drop off our recycling, peruse an antique and collectibles mall, and to have lunch.  On the way back, we took a detour, and stopped at the Astrobleme museum (which marks the center of a meteor crater from 250 million years ago), and a winery-- which turned out to be closed.

Tuesday through Thursday, we'd come back to the farm, have lunch, and have a siesta in the heat of the afternoons. 

I'd then do my  more concentrated spiritual work for the day, and we'd read, or play a board game until dusk, when it was time to step back outside, at least for a few minutes, to watch the sunset and listen to the shift in wildlife sounds. 

At night, we'd watch an episode or two of The Last Kingdom, and then sleep like babies.

There was one scrawny raccoon (had no "ruff" of fur around the face, and no fluffy tail, either), who came to visit after dark a couple of times.

Dave spent a lot of time on line, even though we had planned this to be an "internet fast" for us.  I was more successful at avoiding going on line except to post my "daily gratefuls," and some pictures and videos, to the Book of Faces.

When we got back from Enid on Friday, we started packing things up, and I did laundry.

I had a voice message on Friday from the facility where my upcoming medical testing is taking place.  That REALLY messed with  my head, as one reason for this vacation was to NOT THINK about the fact that my scans were scary, and that things could be getting bad again.

This brought on waves of anxiety on Friday afternoon, but we had a bottle of wine that we'd brought for our "fancy" dinner that night, and that helped a bit. So did the fancy dinner.

All in all, the stay was very slow, and relaxing.  The days rolled by at their own pace, and it was lovely to be disconnected, and to completely let go of anything having to do with work, or the news (mostly), or the world outside.

I would LOVE to take another vacation some day, where there is (supposed to be) very little driving to get there and back, and where the goal is to do a whole lot of relaxing.  

This was my first time, and I LIKED IT!!!

Today, we will get the groceries, and I will do my usual chores.  There's cat litter all over the floor, as our house sitter was not asked to do anything like sweep the floors.

Back to the office tomorrow, and I will return that phone call. Ugh.

Have a good week!! 

Forgot to post yesterday!

 We are away, at a "farm stay" Air BnB.

It's very quiet out here, and we are on a retreat, of sorts.

Beautiful, big skies, lots of wind, birds, deer, and cattle.

Enjoy your 4th of July, if you celebrate!