And more good news.....

 The onlcology PA called me with my CT results.  I usually only get calls when the news is bad, but this time, it was good!

The glassy opacities are gone.  

Then, she asked how I did coming off of the prednisone, so I filled her in about the intense pain that I had for most of last week (which seems to be better today, by the way), and about the weight I gained.

From what I have read, it takes about a week to start to see a return to normal after high-dose steroid treatment, so.... the coming days should be better.

The best part is that I am sleeping again! 

I will see the PA at the clinic on Tuesday, and I think we will be talking about hormone blocking maintenance medication.  Not my favorite, as I have been on all of them, and each one effects me badly in one way or another.

She said that the joint pain can be treated with Celebrex, an arthritis medication, so we shall see.  I am not sure why my original doctor never prescribed that. He must not have known.

Anyway, in other news, we have been getting out and walking on the somewhat cooler mornings we have had this past week, despite (or, perhaps, IN spite of) the pain I was dealing with.

It's still been in the 90s in the afternoons, but the mornings have been in the 70s, and we REALLY need to get back into walking.

Especially because we will be going to sweet home Chicagoland soon!

Plans for our first road trip in the new car are coming together nicely.  We will be meeting with our house sitters this coming Wednesday.

We will be making TWO stops on the way up, so we can visit with friends along the way.

I've been doing my physical therapy exercises every day, too, so that I can be okay with being in the car for several hours over three days.

Dave had hoped that I would do some of the driving, but I am not up to facing that phobia yet.  I'd like to eventually, but we simply have not had the time yet.

So- we made the plan to take shorter driving "legs" over more days.  I mean...since we don't have to rush back for me to go to work!  YIPPEE!

We also have the option of heading back to OK a day earlier than planned, and taking three days to get back, but just stopping at hotels on those legs.

This past week, I got out my beading board, and made a necklace for a friend's birthday!  I will be seeing her when we go north, so I will give it to her then.

It felt good to get some beads out, come up with a simple design, and execute it successfully!

I am thinking that may be what I send for gifts this holiday season... we shall see. That, or jar candles, which I also have everything for from last year.

We shall see.

That's about all I have for today.  Have a good week! 

New routines... or not....

 SO far, retirement has been kind of busy!

We bought our hoped-for new car on Monday....WHEEE!  

It is a red, 2025 Toyota Rav 4 Hybrid.  There were only 4 in the Oklahoma City area that were not out of our price range (had WAY more bells and whistles than this one does),  and this one was the only one with the interior color Dave wanted.

We invested extra money in WeatherTech floor mats, and a dash cam, which was installed on Friday.

Both of us have been driving it, though Dave has driven it more, and we agree that adjusting to something SO MUCH bigger than our Ford Focus has been pretty easy!

I love that I can see everything around the vehicle, and that it sits up so much higher.

So, now we are starting to plan our road trip to Chicagoland!  YAY!

Hopefully, our auto case settlement money will come through soon, too, so we can have a little fun money for the trip.

I had my first NON-CHEMO treatment this past week.  The bone medication causes bone pain for sure, when administered on its own (without the usual dose of IV steroid that came with the chemo).  

The night of the second day was rough.... still having insomnia from the prednisone, and then that pain... yikes.

But, yesterday, the pain was gone, and now I know what to expect.   My next treatment isn't until Sept. 25th!

This coming week, I will have my follow up chest CT scan on Thursday, and the week after that, I will see the PA.  

THEN, I get a break from appointments!

In desperation, this past week, I messaged my doctor's office on MyChart and begged for mercy with this prednisone process.  

I told them that I have not slept more than a few hours a night since the beginning, in mid-July, and that the doctor had let me taper off more quickly near the end the last time we did this.

They replied that, YES, I could reduce my dose more quickly, over fewer days, and I started that process a few days ago.... and the night before last, I FINALLY SLEPT!

It was strange to sleep "normally," after so long, and I actually had kind of a "sleep hang over" yesterday.

BUT then, last night, I was back to being awake from about midnight to about 6 am... ugh.   HOPEFULLY, though, that will end very, very soon!

Today, I will take my last dose of 10mg, and they told me to just skip the final tapering days of 5 mg.

GLADLY!

In other news, I have registered for another course in Pagan spirituality, and look forward to getting started on it.

I need some kind of routine in my life, and having that to focus on will help me to get started with that.

There will be volunteering somewhere, eventually, too...just.... not yet.  I need time to decompress, and get to know myself again.

We never really got much of a break from the heat over the past week, but now they're saying maybe this coming week.

We shall see! 

Wishing you a good week!

More good news! Oh, and MORE good news....

 While the chemo caused lung issues again (symptom free), the GOOD news is that... I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!

At my appointment last week, my doctor announced that, since there is NO ACTIVE CANCER in my body right now, the best course of action is to cease the Enhertu treatment, continue the bone treatment, and do another scan in three months.

I was so happy that I burst into tears.

My next bone treatment is this coming week, and after that, we will switch that treatment back to every eight weeks, as it was prior to starting Enhertu in January of 2023.

AHHHHH!!!  I am so relieved and happy!

So far, she is NOT putting me on any of the hormone blocking medications, either, which pleases me.  They cause me SUCH awful side effects.  But, time will tell on that.

I will still go for my follow up chest CT on the 21st of August, and will see the PA on the 26th.

In other news, Dave met with his financial guy on Friday, and we are good to go to purchase a new vehicle.

We are SO EXCITED!  I am going to get my Toyota Rav4! (If we can find one, HAHA... they sell so fast, no dealers can keep them on the lot)

We ALSO FINALLY got a call from the attorney for our auto accident case, and they are going to settle at last.  We should have a big, fat check in the mail some day soon.

AND, on the advice of my financial guy, I canceled the life insurance policy my dad took out for me in August of 1962, and will get another check in the mail for that.

Plus, my last pay check hit the bank, with all of my unpaid PTO hours on it.  

Phew!

I got my work retirement account paperwork submitted for roll over, and I got a call from the Social Security Administration about confirming my retirement date, and some additional paperwork that is needed.  My first SS check will come at the end of September.

Hopefully, my IRA income will start before that, but, if it doesn't, we'll be fine.

On Friday, some friends of ours, who are traveling from Texas to Ohio, stopped in Oklahoma City, and let us feed and shelter them for the night.  

It was a GREAT reason to continue cleaning the room that was my work-from-home office for five and a half years, and re-claim it as our guest room/multipurpose room!

It was SO NICE to have guests under our roof, and to cook for them!

Yesterday, we attended Oklahoma City Pagan Pride, and they came with us.  It was nice to be able to get out to that event again.  I've been to all of them ever held here, and am SO glad they moved it indoors as of last year.

I found a GORGEOUS pendant that I could not resist purchasing, too.

Today, I will get back into that room and go through some books to take to Half Price to sell, and set things up to start going through my beads and supplies.

I am down to 30mg a day of the prednisone, and am STILL not sleeping well.  I typically make it until around 3 am, and then I'm awake for 3 or 4 hours, and then doze a little before giving up.  Some nights are much worse than that.

It's a blessing that I have not had to be working the past week, but it sure was hard before work ended!

We should have a storm system moving through tonight, and the rumor is that we will see a break in the intense heat.  This past week has been horrible.

If it happens, we will have a few days in the 90s instead of low 100s.... MAYBE we can go to the woods one morning.

Have a wonderful week, Dear Reader! 

I'm Freeeeee!

 It's done.... I'm clocked out of work for good, going permanent status 10 - 7, over and out!

(That's emergency services dispatch lingo for "unit out of service.")

I was EXTREMELY touched, and quite surprised, by the accolades, kind words, and gifts from my co- workers, and management, on Thursday.

After years of being ignored, disrespected, and both directly, and passive-aggressively, threatened with job loss (mostly at my weakest moments), it was really nice to have people say how much my skills, knowledge, help, and presence-through thick and thin- had been noticed, and had been important.

They decorated the board room nicely, got me a DELICIOUS cake (Oh my gosh, I need to find out where it came from, because DANG!), beautiful flowers, and there was my favorite kind of party punch, with lime sherbet, ginger ale, and pineapple juice.

There was also the presentation of a glass ... thingie... I am not sure what they're called, HAH.  It's not a plaque, because it stands up, and it's not a "participation trophy," again HAH.... but it commemorates my 12 years of of excellence and dedicated service, and wishes me a happy retirement.

I was doing fine until that was presented to me, in front of everyone. THEN, I cried.  Cried many times, in fact.  I was exhausted, it was hot, I was uncomfortable.... but oh well... the tears flowed.

The CEO (who was hired after me), the director, and the team supervisor all spoke, and a few co-workers did, too.   

My kindness was recognized, too, and that was the best part.

Being kind has been one of my life's daily goals.   Even my business is called Kind Heart. Not that I have any clients anymore....but maybe that will change now.

I got lots of hugs, some lovely, thoughtful gifts, and got to bring home the rest of the cake!

Friday, we got up and took Dave for a blood draw.  He made it through, with me holding his hand, and the phlebotomist was very careful to be sure he was alright before we left.

Then, we went to Costco as soon as it opened.  What a LUXURY to be there on a week day morning!  That will become the norm, now.

A friend came over for a while, and I did some of my chores.

This weekend has been about decompressing, though I have also done all of my usual chores, and made a fantastic dinner last night.  

Yes, I remembered to write it down! 

There's been a BLESSED break from the heat, and it's raining today. LOVELY!

Dave got the ivy cut away from the laundry room windows yesterday, and I made many delicious margaritas for us.

(maybe a few too many, as I woke up in the night with a head ache)

The rest of the replacement windows have been ordered, and paid for via our home equity line of credit.  That will be a major project, when the day comes, but it just needs to be finished.

Fortunately, HELOC interest rates are VERY low, so our monthly payment will be quite manageable.

My doctor's office called and scheduled me for a sooner-than-expected office visit.  The doctor is wanting to go over a new treatment schedule or something.  I'm not really sure, since, initially upon the scan results, she said we would hold for 6 weeks (2 cycles), and I was to see her Sept. 2nd.

So, that's Tuesday.  I will get the chest xray she wants me to have that day, too, since I WAS going to go on Wednesday anyway.  It's nice that I can do that on a walk in basis.

I have been having an awful time with the steroids (especially at the maximum dosage, which is, actually the maximum recommended dosage over all), so she also let me start tapering that off this past week.  

I took 60 mg for the first full week, and now have done 50mg for 5 days.  Today will be my first of five days at 40mg, etc, etc..... 

I finally got a little more sleep the past two nights.  

On the 60mg, I was only sleeping maybe an hour or two a night, and having horrible esophageal pains (even with taking a strong anti-heartburn medication every day in order to AVOID that pain).  

I got 45 minutes of sleep the night (morning, actually) before my party.  It was terrible.  I had to train the manager and supervisor that day, and I was SOOO tired.

Last night, I made it until 3 am!  That's a VAST improvement.  That might have been partially because of the margaritas, though....HAH!

Anyway, Dave has a doctor appointment on Tuesday too, around the same time as mine, but in a different building. He will drop me off for mine, then go to his, and come back and pick me up.

We might get up and go to the woods in the morning, and then on Tuesday morning, we are going to go get pedicures.  

BUT, then we need to stop spending luxury money for a while.... I still have no idea what my income will be, or when it will start, so I am nervous about that kind of thing for now.

My last pay check will be big, though, and I will set it aside.

We are still hoping to hear something SOON about the auto accident case being settled.  We'd really like to have those funds to put toward buying a new vehicle, before heading to Illinois the next time!

I am not willing to take another dangerous highway road trip in a small, silver car that no one can see, apparently.

So that's me for this week.  Have a nice Sunday, and a good week!

Addendum:  Unfortunately, the cake was from Sam's Club.  We have boycotted WalMart/Sam's for over 20 years, and aren't going to stop now.  OH well.  Don't need to eat cake anyway, HAHA!

Four. Days.

 In four days, when I walk away from the office, I will do so with my head held high, and my middle fingers raised.

I am retiring on good terms, but there have been many, many reasons over the years to feel this level of mixed emotions.

My original management team tried, DILIGENTLY, for years, to get me to quit. 

This was after a bit of a kerfuffle involving the Director (my direct boss), and a form that she filled out and had ME fax.  

The VP called me on the carpet, because this form STOPPED all payments from Medicare for weeks. THAT was a MAJOR problem!  

The Director had COMPLETELY misunderstood the VP when she was given the form, and came to me saying it had to be sent "yesterday," and that it was extremely urgent.

When questioned, I was honest, and said that the Director had filled it out, because I had no idea what it had meant, and that all I did was co-sign and fax it.  I had to co-sign it, due to my position at that time, but I had literally nothing else to do with the information, and the boxes she checked, on the form.

Since there was absolutely no reason to fire me (my work was, and still is, impeccable), and I was protected by FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act), from that point on, the Director and the VP did their best to make me as miserable as possible.

From taking away my title (I was the Director's Assistant and Project Manager) and my status...

...To taking away my paid time off hours that I had already used, leaving me with a deficit....so that I had to go unpaid for chemo for several rounds, and I had to stay and work during blizzards and ice storms because I needed to be paid.  EVERYONE else in the building was gone, during one of those storms, but I had to stay and work, and dig my car out by myself while in fucking chemo.

Aside: The time deficit was AFTER the CEO allowed my co-workers to donate their paid time off hours to me, so that I would need not ever go without pay as a full time employee.  Then the VP reversed that, and took them away, AFTER I had used them. She assured me that this was legal.  I have no doubt she covered her ass.

Then, they gave a promotion to someone with absolutely no experience in management and training, when I had been an operations manager and trainer at my medical billing job in Illinois for eight years.

BUT, despite all of this, they were not able to convince me that leaving was a good idea.   

I knew that finding a job, as a person with stage IV cancer, in active treatment, would be virtually impossible.  I knew that any new job would require me to work for eighteen months before qualifying for FMLA again, so that I ran the risk of losing that job for absenteeism.

There were no choices.... I had to stay.

Then, a few years ago, the Director got cancer and died, and, a couple of years after that, after we moved to the new building, the rest of the billing management team all left at once-led by that same VP- trying their best to put us out of business, and take over the local "market" by joining the competition.

That didn't work, either.  

I was instrumental in keeping our business office running, and the cash flowing, though I have never, ever been acknowledged for that. 

The person who got my promotion before was promoted again, and is now my supervisor.  She has learned a LOT, and has grown so much, and I am now SO glad that I did not end up in her position.

There have been many difficult times with her, as well.  Extremely difficult.... but she was also not able to get me to quit, and has now changed her views on my performance to where they should have been all along.

I won't go into detail, but it was all based on her ASSUMING that she knew my job, when she absolutely had NO clue at all.  I am sure there are ample examples in my previous posts!

In the past couple of years, we have gotten a new Director, a hands-OFF Manager (I often forget to include her in emails because she doesn't speak to anyone and doesn't often come out of her office), and my office bestie is the Team Lead.  The management team is bigger than it used to be, but it seems to be going okay.  

Things have been going really well, and, from what I have heard, that other company is floundering.

People who left us to go there with the former VP have now left there, and our company still provides the best service, and the most efficient billing/revenue cycle for ambulance service, in the state.

The only really bad thing lately was when the upper management changed our PTO policy back in March, and took away 75% of the office staff's paid time off hours. 

That was my absolute last straw.... it was at that point when I really started to consider retiring, biding my time to see how Dave's income would settle out.

My soon to be former job duties are being spread out between two departments, and several people, and I have one more big thing to train people on during my last day.  My job will not be re-filled.

SO... all of that being said.... after I clock out on Thursday, I will feel a great deal of weight lifted from my spirit. This has been a very hard row to hoe.

I was personally hired by the former/late Director in July of 2013 (the 29th was my first day), and I was diagnosed in December of 2014, beginning chemo in January of 2015.

Working full time, for ten years and seven months, while in almost constant treatment for cancer, has been necessary, but utterly unfair (I know, life isn't fair) and exhausting in so many ways.

I can now leave that all behind, and LIVE MY LIFE. 

For that, I am extremely grateful. For Dave's successful retirement, I am extremely grateful.

We will be okay with my meager retirement income, because his income doesn't need me to bring in my full time pay anymore.

We will be fine.... so OFF I GO!  

Have a great week!

ADDENDUM:  OH!  I forgot to say that my oncology nurse called on Monday, and my doctor has me back on big guns steroids due to the "glassy opacities" that showed in my chest CT.  I am on hold for chemo for two treatments, and will have a follow up CT in three weeks.

In the interim, I will get a chest xray around the 6th of August (xrays are done on walk in basis).  I just need to check in to see if they still want me to go for the bone treatment I get every 6 weeks.

All's as well as can be expected.....

 Pete's ultrasound showed NO signs of cancer.

He also hasn't thrown up since last Saturday, with no trace of steroids in his system. It's as though he has mysteriously recovered from his months-long mystery illness JUST after we shelled out the $750 for this test.

Be that as it may, we are SO glad he seems to be well without medication!

I had my testing done on schedule on Wednesday.  No phone calls from the clinic = everything must be okay.

I see the P.A. on Tuesday, and if we are good to go ahead, my usual treatment will be on Thursday.

I did notice the word cirrhosis in my CT results.... I wonder if that's an effect of the chemo, because, while I DO consume alcohol, I don't drink THAT MUCH!

Now, I am drinking even less, so we will see what happens.

My dental cleaning and exam went fine, too.

I successfully gave my notice at work on Thursday.  I got nice, respectful emails from the Director and the Manager, but NOT ONE WORD from my direct supervisor.  

She said NOTHING to me that day (when we were all in the office), or the next.

Whatever.

We got our new freezer on Thursday, but it came so late in the day that we had to re-schedule our meeting with my financial guy.  We will see him tomorrow after I get off work.

Need to get the ball rolling to convert the investment account my dad left to me into an income-generating IRA.

My raise has come through at work, so now I am just waiting on the contribution from my employer into my retirement account.

When I submitted my retirement notice, I asked if I would be paid for un-used time off hours.  The answer was YES.

I also asked if I can just bring my work desktop and phone to the office myself on my last day, rather than having the I/T guy come out to the house.  The answer was YES.

So...that all sounds great to me!

My main source of anxiety right now is not knowing what my income stream will be, or when it will start.

Fortunately, Dave's is more than adequate, and we will be FINE until mine starts to flow. Especially if I have a really big last pay check from work.

My sister and brother in law called yesterday, and they said that my social security ought to start by the end of August.  I am anticipating a letter in the mail, since I called them over a week ago to give them my retirement date.

My brother had his second cataract surgery this past week, and all went well. Better than the first one, from what my brother in law reported.

Last Monday, the lawn clean up happened on time, and they dragged everything (mostly unwanted/poorly located saplings) to the curb, where it was successfully picked up on "bulky trash day" Wednesday.  That was another pile of money out the door, too, HAHA!  We used the proceeds from selling the telescope to pay for half of it, so that helped.

Then, our mowing service came on Friday.... so everything looks really nice right now.  

The only down side is that the crew we hired for the clean up cut down my herb garden, which was NO WHERE near the areas we hired them to clear.  They just randomly hit it with their weed whacker on the way out of the gate!

Fortunately, the parsley and sage are already sending out new leaves....but still...WHY???

Anyway, the weather has turned insufferable, so it's good that we have someone to mow for the rest of the summer.

The friend who was going to buy our old freezer backed out of the agreement, of course. (I had a feeling she would.)  SO now we have a little chest freezer and no where to put it.  Yay.

I checked with the shelter for homeless youth that we help support, and they can't use it.  I've posted three times on Facebook, and no one is interested.

That's about all I have for this week.  Cabin fever will be setting in soon.... sigh.... I am pretty sure I won't be able to get Dave up to take walks at 6:30 am - now that he isn't working, and lies in bed until 9 most mornings.

Have a good week!

Busy week ahead

 This three day weekend has been pretty nice, so far.  No pressure.

After our meeting with the retirement/financial planner on Thursday, I took advantage of part of the day off to get lots of data compiled and sent to him.  I also called the Social Security Administration and notified them that I have a retirement date now.

Then, we got some errands done, and had dinner delivered.

We didn't do anything to celebrate our 17th anniversary yesterday, because the weather forecast called for flooding, which did, indeed, happen.

I had taken Friday off to use my last floating holiday, but we didn't go out of town like we had talked about, because there was no where to go for a day to escape the heat.

Plus, Pete started throwing up again on Friday.  

He gets his ultrasound tomorrow.  Between then and now, we have been giving him his "ear rub" medicine, and it seems to have kept his vomiting to a minimum yesterday.  

We won't give it to him today, though, because the vet wants him to be "in a flare up" for the test.

Dave was able to sell our telescope to a friend of his, and he came to pick it up yesterday.  It's amazing how much space there is on the beautiful hardwood floor in the living room now, without that huge black case sitting there.

This coming week is really busy.  The lawn clean up guy is coming tomorrow or Tuesday, and the mowing service should come again by the end of the week. 

Dave has not done the parts he was supposed to do himself, but that's no surprise.  Between all of the rain, and his inclination to procrastinate until AFTER the last minute.... sigh...

He should be able to get out there today, though, since it isn't supposed to rain heavily.

Wednesday, I have my heart ultrasound and chest CT in the morning, AND my dental check up in the afternoon.  I will work 4 hours in between.

Thursday is my office day, and I will be giving notice.  While I am at work, our new deep freeze will be delivered. THEN, after I get home from work, we will go to meet with the financial guy again.

SO far, Friday is just a ... Friday. 

Right now, though, Dave wants to go out for breakfast, so that means that I have to get in the shower and put my face on. I also have LOVELY pillow case scars on both cheeks.  I just love when that happens.... UGH.

Have a good week.