Onward again....

 Scan day on Monday took four hours, total.  SO MUCH WAITING!! 

I don't particularly like it when they send me to the hospital for scans, instead of the cancer center.  On Monday, the hospital was like an ant hill.  It was SO busy, and being among all of that busy-ness was exhausting.

I came home and did my strength training unit for the study anyway, though.

Then, I had my bone treatment at the cancer center on Wednesday.  

The treatment itself takes 15 minutes, and I was supposed to meet with the dietician concurrently. She was supposed to come to the infusion center to talk with me while I was hooked up to the IV.

Except that my treatment didn't start until an HOUR after my appointment time.

The treatment went fine, but the dietician never showed up, even after checking in with my infusion nurse to confirm that I was FINALLY in the chair.

Because they had run so late, she must have had a scheduling conflict.  SO, after my treatment, I went downstairs to her office and explained out front what had happened.

The receptionist said that the dietician would be out to see me "in a minute."

Another hour went by.  SO MUCH WAITING!!  I finally got to chat with her for about 5 minutes, which really was all that was needed.  She encouraged my increased iron-rich foods, but also comforted me with the fact that my hemoglobin count is still normal.

..... and we FINALLY got to go home, after being there for THREE HOURS for what was supposed to be a 15 minute appointment.

So, that was a total of SEVEN HOURS of waiting this past week.  It's NEVER been that bad before.

Anyway, while I was sitting in the cancer center, waiting, my oncologist called and left a voice mail that my scans looked GOOD, and that we will just keep doing what we are doing.

So, that was a big relief!  It was funny that she called while I was sitting right there. You know.  Waiting. 

Anyway, that day, we got home so late that I did NOT do my strength training. I was too tired from all of the waiting.... it's SO aggravating.

On Thursday, I went ahead and did the yoga unit that I normally would do on Thursday, AND the strength training unit that I DIDN'T do on Wednesday, so that I felt satisfied that I was caught up.

There is no pressure in this study program, at all, but I put pressure on myself to stay current with the tasks, so that I feel like I am really participating, and improving my health at the same time.

I really can tell a difference already!

My zoom meeting on Friday with the exercise physiologist went really well. He is very encouraging, and takes everything I say about my experiences with the study seriously.

He is going to pass on my comments that the yoga videos might benefit from being re-done.  They are not interactive, since this program is designed for participants to do everything in the safety of their own homes (due to stage 4 cancer patients having potential mobility and immunity issues).

I said that not all of us are young yoga instructors (haha), and that most of us have ports installed in our chests, and many of us have bone metastases that prevent us from twisting, etc.   The yoga videos are, in places, far too challenging even for me, who has practiced yoga on and off for years.

There are many poses in the videos that I just can't do, or that I can't do with proper form and support, and those things can't be addressed if the teacher is not live in the room with the student.  My concern is that other participants who are not familiar with yoga will try too hard, and hurt themselves.

Hopefully, they will re-do the yoga videos for the next group of study participants, and use more of the yoga practices that are commonly referred to as restorative or "yin."  These poses are far less intense, and allow the body to melt into them for ease and healing.   There is no "pretzeling" in restorative yoga!

I am glad my week full of waiting and appointments is over!!  All I have next week is the in-office visit with my oncologist to discuss the scans.

In other news, my new walking shoes, combined with the inserts from the podiatrist, are REALLY helping my foot!  This is a relief, because he said if it didn't start to get better, I'd need to go back and get x-rays, etc.

We had more dry, hot weather this past week, and today, we are under a dust storm watch.  There is a cold front coming, bearing with it potentially 65 mile per hour winds, and a possible dust storm.  There is also a red flag fire warning for almost the entire state.

It's beautiful out this morning, but will be below freezing tonight, with those gusts.

UGH!  The wind is already starting to kick up.

Yesterday, I got all of my chores done inside, and then mowed half of the back yard (the other half doesn't need it yet).  It was a very active day, and I felt great!

Got in the hot tub after dinner, which was a DELICIOUS new to me recipe for linguine with clam sauce.  Clams are high in iron, so they fit into my diet modifications mentioned last week.  Shrimp are high in iron too.

The shrimp dish that I made earlier in the week was also delicious, but I still don't like shrimp, HAHA!  SO, Dave got all of those left overs.

Making pot roast today, and will make colcannon and a nice steak for St. Patrick's Day next week, which is also the last day of this chemo cycle.

The only chore I do on Sundays, usually, is to wash towels.  I'll also do the next lesson in the ongoing spiritual course I am taking.

Hope anyone reading this has a good week!  Best of luck to dear friend, E, who is having surgery!! We wish her swift, and comfortable healing! 

Sunny Sunday

 The good news is that my potential stress fracture is just tendinitis!  My podiatrist recommended different walking shoes, so I went and got fitted by a pro at the locally owned running and fitness store.

The new shoes are super comfortable, but I am still having pain, so I still need to let it rest more than I would like.

The not so good news is that my red blood cell count continues to go down.  It's not alarmingly low, but it's dropped every time I have had labs since starting this chemo. 

I was approved to continue with the chemo pill, so my doctor is not concerned, but I am keeping an eye on my diet, and have added more high iron foods to the menu.

When I get my bone treatment on Wednesday of next week, I will have a concurrent appointment with the dietician, and will discuss this with her at that time.

We got a grand total of about 10 minutes of soaking rain over the past week.  Not enough to do much good, but it DID wash Sammie's ashes into the ground, so we don't see them anymore.

The case with Fed Ex over her death is still pending, but has been escalated.  Dave calls every few days to ask why it hasn't been resolved yet.

He will be calling tomorrow.

I have a full docket of scans tomorrow.... CT chest, abdomen, and pelvis, with and without contrast, and a nuclear bone scan.  Ugh.

I will be there for at least 2 hours, due to the injection required for the bone scan.  I think it needs two hours to run through my body before they can do the scan.

Fortunately, I can eat breakfast, because my first scan isn't until noon, and then I can eat lunch between the CTs and the bone scan.

Unfortunately, this should result in a huge bill from the clinic.  Yay.

Then, after the scans Monday, and treatment Wednesday, I have my next zoom with the exercise physiologist for the wellness study on Friday.

I can bring him up to date on the foot/shoe story, and on how I am doing with the yoga and weight workouts.

I've also lost an average of about one pound per week due to being more active, and building muscle slowly and deliberately.

Anyway it will be a busy week, and I am tired.  Oh well.... I can rest as often as I need to, now.  It's quite a luxury, after struggling for years to keep working while fatigued from various treatment protocols.

This evening, we are going to celebrate our friend's birthday.  

He and his wife are the friends who come for Christmas Eve every year.  We have not been invited to their house since the power outage of Oct./Nov. 2020, when they let us come take showers and do laundry, so it will be nice. 

I am off to do a load of laundry, and then some yoga.  Have a good week!

A quiet week

 After all of the grief lately, and the utter trauma of last Saturday, this past week has been quiet.

I am a few days into my break from chemo, and my guts are just fine.  No waterfall diarrhea.  I'll go for my every three weeks labs tomorrow or Tuesday.

I see the podiatrist on Wednesday.

Dave has a case open with Fed Ex, but no resolution yet.  He will call them again tomorrow.  We are hoping that the driver is at least reprimanded, and that they repay us for the vet bill.

In the meantime, though, Dave's forgotten annual bonus came through (for 2 months of last year), so that helped us recoup the money on this side.  That was a big relief, and a VERY nice surprise.

We remembered that he waited until March to retire so that he would get the bonus, no matter how small.

We've been hearing that it's supposed to rain and rain and rain here, starting yesterday.  Not one drop yet, and the sun is out.

Hopefully, we will get some rain at some point in the next few days.  The forecasters keep saying we're in for a drought-breaking soak, but I won't believe it until I can go out and dance in the puddles, which I often do.

In the meantime, my daffodils are very happy, not having been thwarted by the freeze that we had after they started blooming.

The back yard is lush with non-native, but lovely, spring time plants, such as henbit and veronica.  Veronica is SO very pretty, with its tiny lavender colored flowers.

It's very strange to be out in the back yard without Sammie.  Strange, and hard. She loved us so, especially Dave.

I got all of my chores done yesterday, and today, we will be draining, cleaning, and refilling our little hot tub.

Given, of course, that it's not pouring rain.

Have a good week.

ANOTHER difficult good bye

 One day, I think it was about 3 years ago, a feral cat in our neighborhood showed up in our back yard, with her little black and white kitten.

We named them Gilly and Sam (Game of Thrones characters, as we had done with so many other feral cats), because we didn't know if the kitten was a boy or a girl yet. 

Time passed, Gilly disappeared, as they do, and Sam started coming around once in a while to find food.

In the summer of 2024, Sam showed up pregnant, so we shifted her name to Sammie.

On our wedding anniversary, July 12th, which was a day that saw a temperature of 110F, she decided to have her kittens in our patio chiminea.

There were SEVEN of them!  She was so young, and this was her first litter.

We did our best to keep her cool, and to protect her and the tiny, tiny kittens.  In a few days, she was up and about and going off, leaving them alone in the chiminea.  One of them died, and we figured out that it was the runt.

Anyway, as they started to grow and come out of the chiminea on their own, she moved them.  We don't know where.  We didn't see her or the kittens for about a month.

And then, one day, here she came, with five of the kittens marching behind her, tiny tails straight up!  The one that I had hoped to adopt, the black one with a tiny white spot on top of its head, was gone.

We did our best by those remaining kittens, but, in the end, three of them died by mishap, because feral cats wander, and some of them don't understand that cars are dangerous.

We got two the kittens successfully "fixed," with their shots, and adopted, and Sammie trusted us so completely that Dave was able to easily put her in a carrier to take her for shots, and to get her spayed, too.

After that, she left for a little while, but eventually came back, and stayed with us in our back yard.  

She adopted us as her people, though, from time to time, she would disappear, because feral cats wander.

She was, however, completely socialized with us, and with a couple of our house sitters.  She and Dave had a daily routine of food and cuddles, and she would always "help" me when I would work outside in some capacity, gardening, or just filling the bird bath, or checking the hot tub chemistry.

She let us give her flea prevention meds, the kind in a tube that you run in between their shoulder blades.

She even would sit in my lap out on the patio sometimes.  Usually, though, she would sit under my chair, or in the other chair, when I would sit out there.

Fast forward to yesterday.  

It was just another day, with Sammie coming out of her heated house in the back yard, for breakfast, and getting cuddles from Dave.

She "helped" me fill the bird bath, and her water dish, and everything was normal and relaxed.

Then, in the afternoon, a knock on the door.  It was the little boy from across the street.

"Do you guys have a black and white cat?"  My heart immediately jumped into my throat.... 

He let us know that several members of his family had seen the Fed Ex truck hit Sammie as she was going across the street.

She was lying in the gutter in front of our house, panting, paralyzed, and bleeding.  It was absolutely horrific.  

I ran to the shed to get Dave's leather work gloves, a towel, and a carrier.  We knew she was done for, and had to get her to an emergency vet to have her put down.

But when Dave tried to gather her up, she panicked, and lashed out and tried to escape...it was heart breaking because her back was broken, and all she could do was flop around and scream.

In the long run, after we sat in the street with her and calmed her, begging her to just let go.... he was finally able to get her into the carrier, and off we went.

It was extremely traumatic for all of us.  Dave was completely devastated. 

The neighbors were caring and compassionate, standing guard, like a vigil, around us as we sat in the street. One of them hugged me when I freaked out watching the first attempts Dave made to pick Sammie up.  

They also lodged a complaint with Fed Ex, and told us that they had actually chased the truck down the street, trying to get the driver to stop, but he wouldn't. 

So. She is gone.  Because feral cats wander.

We will collect her ashes in about a week.  It would have been too much to bring her broken body back for burial in the ground, which is somewhat frozen at this time of year.

A vet tech also cleaned the carrier before giving it back to us. It was a bloody, shitty mess.

Frank and Sammie were "through the window" friends, and had a routine of talking to each other (well, Frank talked, and she mostly just looked at him, haha!) in the evenings.  

He went from the back to the front of the house, getting in the windows and meowing, last night. 

It was so sad to witness.

Both of us are drained of tears this morning, and emotionally exhausted.  Every time I woke up last night, which was a lot, it all replayed in my mind.

That will take some time to fade, I'm sure.

But, she is at peace, forever safe and warm, and her lost kittens greeted her with love on the other side of the rainbow bridge.... at least that is how I comfort myself.

Especially our Scamper.  They are happily playing together, and sleeping in a big kitten pile.

And we will go on, keeping them all in our hearts, along with the other feral cats that we have cared for, and loved.

Maybe Luke will come back now.  Time will tell.

I let my friends know, and one of them came to clean up the blood in front of the house....I was going to do it myself, but she offered.... and I am grateful.  

Since there is no rain in the forecast, it would have stayed there for quite some time, as an ongoing reminder every time we leave the house.

In other news, I am still doing SO much better on the reduced dose of the chemo.  My fingers are completely healed, and I have only needed to take imodium once, back near the beginning of this cycle.

I completed my first week of the wellness study, as best I could, getting a late start and all.  Plus, I had planned to do my 3rd day of strength training yesterday, but.... well..... it didn't happen, and I messaged my "coach" to let him know why.

This coming week, my only appointment is to get my permanent crown, and then go for labs after I stop this chemo cycle on Wednesday.

Unfortunately, I think I have a new stress fracture, this time in my right foot.  My podiatrist can't get me in until Mar. 4th. 

In the meantime, I am not supposed to take walks or spend too much time on my feet.... thankfully, we have a pedal machine so I can still get exercise and participate in the wellness study.

Have a good week. 

Oops, I forgot it was Sunday again!

 I'm grateful that I have a friend who reminds me, when I don't publish my blog as per usual, HAHA!

Thanks, Nan! 

This past week, I finally got connected to the wellness study apps, and got my fit bit connected, too.  Next week, I will have my on line visit with the exercise physiologist, and I will get my first "batch" of tasks/exercises and yoga lessons.

I'm really looking forward to it!

This morning, we got up and went out for breakfast to meet with Dave's ex brother in law, David, who lives just 4 blocks away from us.

We now have four people who live in this neighborhood who we know in one way or another.  It's a comfort.  Two are on 12th street, and two on 11th!

My former dance director is in our neighborhood now, too, just a few blocks away.

Dave and David had not seen each other for many, many years, which is understandable.  They reconnected last year, via facebook, but had not seen one another until this morning.

David's father just passed away this past week, and Dave wanted to show sympathies, so we met him for breakfast, and then had him over to the house for a visit.

It was very good, I think.  Healing.

The Davids are more alike than they are different, these days, and we might be able to help one another out from time to time.

I think it did David good to see that Dave is not who he was years ago.

The sad part is that Dave's estranged son refused to go to this grandfather's funeral, too, just as he did when Dave's dad died.

He has apparently estranged himself from everyone in his family, except for Dave's eldest brother.

David said that Eric DID show up for his mother's funeral in 2023, but that he was late, and he was mostly interested in what he could get from her apartment when they cleared it out.

It's a shame he has become this way, but there is nothing to be done for it.

Anyway, I re-started chemo on Thursday, after verifying that my blood work was okay.  I have low white and red blood cell counts, but I guess they're not low enough to be of concern yet.

I feel okay, mostly... not run down or anything.

So far, the digestive issues have calmed down, and my fingers are healing well.

Also on Thursday, I had my first dental crown appointment.  The temporary is rough, and has already caused an abrasion on the inside of my cheek, where I get soreness from the chemo.

I have to keep the temporary in place for two weeks before the permanent one will be ready, so I may call and ask if they can smooth this temporary one off a bit, if it gets worse.

Also this past week, aside from the study appointment (on the phone), I had a follow up appointment (on line) with the dietician, so it will be nice to only have one appointment next week.

The weather has continued to be spring-like, and we got a little bit of rain yesterday, but not enough.

Dave doesn't like Valentine's day, but he surprised me with a pretty rose, and a box of chocolates yesterday.  I had already planned to make him some of his favorite foods for dinner last night, and it turned out great.

Tonight's dinner is an Asian soup, and the only chore I have done today was to throw in a load of towels, but I got everything else done yesterday, which was good, since I had not expected Dave to invite David over after breakfast.

Time to go out and refill the bird bath, and maybe see if there is any news on (the olympics preempt our preferred local news most of the time, but not always).

Have a lovely week!

How many times can a heart be broken?

 Many. 

Still grieving the loss of our friend, Mike, aka hobbitt. It's been a rough week, but we're getting by.

I was friends with Cathy and Mike for over 30 years, and you may recall that Cathy introduced me and Dave.

I've been in touch with Cathy's sisters, so that's been good.  Sadly, it seems that both Cathy and Mike elected not to have any kind of memorial or service.

Anyway, it's been like spring here again, with warm weather and sunny skies.  We got in our hot tub last night, which was really nice.

The other day, we got started on preparing for new gardening boxes.  The first thing we needed to do was dismantle the rotting whiskey barrel planters, and we got that mostly done.  The rotting wooden staves and iron rings will be put out at the curb this coming week for "bulky trash day."

A friend has recommended raised cedar planting boxes, and I'd like to get a couple of those, so we had to make room, and the barrels needed to go anyway,

My lowered chemo dose seems to be helping to decrease the diarrhea, and the skin peeling off of my fingers.  I have my new prescriptions now too, if things get really bad again.

I am in the middle of my week off, and it has gone SO much better than previous cycles.  The diarrhea seems to be at its worst during the week off, and this time, it's been much more manageable. 

It's taking a while for my fingers to heal, but the slits have all closed, and the skin feels a bit less like dried out leather.

Today is Dave's birthday, and he wanted to go out for brunch, so we headed out this morning (which is why I have not posted my blog yet).  

The place he chose is a favorite, but it was SOOOO busy!  We waited about a half hour for seats at the counter, and then it took almost an hour for our food to come out.

Needless to say, it was a MUCH longer outing that we anticipated!  

We also had a friend come over this afternoon, so it's kind of been non stop.  I did manage to get a load of towels put through the wash, though.

The grocery chain, Aldi, which is based in Chicagoland, had Italian Beef sandwich kits in the freezer section that are made by Buona Beef!  SO that's Dave's birthday dinner!  I sure hope it's as good as the real thing!  

Sadly, we can't get the exact kind of sandwich rolls here, but hopefully, what we got will suffice.  I already have a jar of giardiniera in the pantry that I brought back in September.

The kit comes with pepper and onions,  as well as the meat and au jus/gravy,

I saw my dentist last week, and it went fine, but he wants to put a crown on one of my teeth to keep it from becoming a problem later, so I will go back to the dentist on Thursday.

Nothing much else to report.  The spring like weather is supposed to continue for a while, so that the daffodils and irises will start to come up, and then get frozen when winter comes back....which is will.

Have a good week!

A week of winter

 It was so nice to have snow on the ground for a few days.... and to have real cold weather.

I really enjoyed it!

But, today it will be 50 degrees, and in coming days, it could be as warm as 70.

Sigh.

SO.... I saw my oncologist on Wednesday, and she lowered my dosage of the chemo.  She also had me meet with the clinical dietician, who recommended I take Metamucil to combat the diarrhea.

Between the lowered dose, and a couple of days of Metamucil, I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER.  My fingers have also gotten better.

Why the nurse I had begged to help me never mentioned a simple remedy like Metamucil, I will never know.

I was able to go out and do errands for a few hours on Friday...it was like being FREE again!  

The doctor ordered the additional medication for severe diarrhea, but I will probably not need it now.  She also ordered an ointment for the peeling skin, but it has never been filled.  Apparently, it's a rarity.  Maybe it will be filled this week some time.

**********************************************

In other news, I JUST found out that my dear friend Mike, the widower of Cathy, who passed last May, has also passed away.

It was just this morning.  Cathy's sister, Nancy, contacted me to let me know.  I am SO very grateful that the family reached out to ME.... not sure why they chose me, but without that, a HUGE community of friends would never have known..

It was a gift, and an honor, to be trusted with the information that he had chosen to discontinue his cancer treatments, and join his soul mate among the stars. 

Our hearts are broken, again. 

May his journey be swift, and filled with light, as he runs into her waiting arms.  Peace to them both.