Closure

 Dave finally heard from Fed Ex's insurance company.

They had a COMPLETELY wrong address, so if they DID send an investigator, that person was a mile from our house.

It wasn't a typo, it was way too far off of accuracy to be that.  My guess is that someone got cases mixed up and entered the wrong case's address into our case info.

Anyway, they said there is no restitution because the incident didn't occur on our private property.

They sent us a check for $100 (to the wrong address), and will be re-issuing one to the correct address.

They called it a "good will settlement." Whatever.

I guess it's better than nothing, but the best part is that Dave doesn't have to deal with them anymore.

Not much else happened this week, other than the roller coaster weather continuing.  It was too hot, and too windy to get outside much, with winds raging day after day:  even up to 50 miles per hour for a day and a night.

Yesterday was calmer (only 30 mph) and much cooler, after a front came through on Friday.

Still no rain, though, and we are now at close to 6" below normal for the first three months of the year.

The forecast shows it could rain on Tuesday and Wednesday next week, but we are only supposed to get about 1".

I continue to fill the bird bath and "bee bath" twice a day, of not more often, because the water keeps evaporating from the high winds and desperately low humidity.

There was a fire last weekend just a few blocks from our part of the neighborhood.  It started in an open field used by homeless people, and spread to a nearby building.

That was WAY too close for comfort in this season of unprecedented high winds, dryness, and flammability.

I've been watering the willow tree every day for an hour, but that hasn't changed the fact that her little leaves and catkins are dry and crispy.   I wonder if she will grow new leaves if we ever get some rain, or if she will be "bald" this year.

In my insane desire to do some gardening (they say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over, and expect a different outcome), before this drought, I had purchased two small cedar gardening boxes.

They are on legs, so they are at a comfortable height, and came with pre-drilled drain holes, and gardening cloth to line them.

Dave has put them together, and next up, he will be digging out a couple of non native "Heavenly Bamboo" shrubs that came with the house, so that we can place the boxes in a corner near the shed, to protect them from the intense afternoon sun.

I am not sure what I will try to grow, exactly, other than things that I know are easy, and should be okay at the lower depth of soil than that of the now rotted, and gone, whiskey barrel planters.

This past week, we have seen two new-to-us cats in the back yard.  We thought we were done with this, but apparently Sammie was keeping other cats at bay.

One of them has been seen three times....so I have water dishes out for it.  Can't tell if it's a boy or a girl, because it doesn't come close enough.

Sigh.

Nothing much on today's agenda, which is nice.  I have some black beans soaking, and will be making chicken enchilada casserole later, with left over roast chicken that was in the freezer.

The winds are back today, and it will be hotter, so I will probably not do much outside.  So tired of this!  It's WAY too early for my hot weather cabin fever!

I think Dave has an appointment or two next week, but I am off the hook for a while now, thankfully.

Have a good one! 

Taxing

 SO, since neither of our financial advisors told us that we could (should) elect to have income taxes withheld from our social security, we are being slammed with having to pay taxes this year for the first time in our lives.

Good times.

That seems such a simple thing that SOMEONE should have told us, but no one did.  Neither of us had ever retired before, obviously, so we had no idea.....and both of these experts are supposed to counsel their clients on every detail.....UGH.

We've gone on line now, and have it set up to start next month.

In the meantime, it's a good thing that I have been socking away every possible penny since I retired.

Sigh.

It's been a very expensive couple of months, between Sammie's vet bill, my medial bills, my dental bill, semi annual real estate taxes falling due, renewing the car's registration, paying a CPA to do our taxes, and now having to pay thousands in taxes,.... I am NOT a happy camper.

Speaking of Sammie, Fed Ex claims that they sent an investigator to the neighborhood, and they knocked on doors and no one was home.

I call 100% bullshit.  We are almost always at home, and you'd think an investigator would leave a note, or that the phone rep who told us someone had been here would have been able to provide a DATE AND TIME that they were supposedly at our door.

They are just trying to delay and delay until we give up.  Dave is going to keep on them, as he has been.  This is absolutely ridiculous.

In other news, my doctor visit went fine this past week, and I finally read my scan reports myself.  No evidence of disease in my body except in the bones, and that is decreasing.

So, YAY!

When we had the windows replaced, we asked the installers to leave all of the old windows for us.  Our plan was to build a green house with them.

As time has gone on, and reality has set in, there's no fucking way we can do a project like that ourselves, and it would be ridiculous to pay someone to do it for us.

So I offered the windows up to my friends on the "book of faces,"  and one of them claimed them!

She and her husband are coming later today to collect the windows, so our carport will be much clearer after that!

I will need to, once again, rake up the leaves from the neighbors trees, for the umpteenth time, but then, it will look much nicer out there.

We have had record breaking heat, and only a total of about 10 minutes of rain in he past 12 weeks.  We are in an extreme drought, and with the humidity averaging in the 10% range, the high winds keep us in almost constant red flag fire danger.

The back yard is literally crunchy, when it should be full of clover and dandelions for the pollinators.

It's also frustrating that I can't use my fire pit.... it's supposed to be spring, not summer, and an ideal time for sitting by the fire.... but no.  

It has to be 98 degrees, bone dry, and windy. 

And they say climate change is a hoax.  "They" are idiots.

The nice thing is that we had a cold front come through earlier today, dropping from 85 to 73, so the windows are open to let the wind blow through the house.

Next week holds no appointments, so I will focus on a couple of small projects that I have been putting off, and maybe get that raking done.

I'm still enjoying the wellness study through the cancer center.  I like that the workouts are different every week, and that I will get an electronic file of all of them to keep when this is all over with.

The yoga remains ridiculously hard, though, and I just do the bits that I can do safely, and do my own "flow" during the parts of the videos that are for 30 year old yoga instructors, as mentioned previously.

That's about it. I am not in a good head space this week, as you can see.  I am pissed off about a lot of things, but looking forward to making some yummy food for dinner, and maybe having a martini or two, since this is my week off from chemo.

Have a good week.

Onward again....

 Scan day on Monday took four hours, total.  SO MUCH WAITING!! 

I don't particularly like it when they send me to the hospital for scans, instead of the cancer center.  On Monday, the hospital was like an ant hill.  It was SO busy, and being among all of that busy-ness was exhausting.

I came home and did my strength training unit for the study anyway, though.

Then, I had my bone treatment at the cancer center on Wednesday.  

The treatment itself takes 15 minutes, and I was supposed to meet with the dietician concurrently. She was supposed to come to the infusion center to talk with me while I was hooked up to the IV.

Except that my treatment didn't start until an HOUR after my appointment time.

The treatment went fine, but the dietician never showed up, even after checking in with my infusion nurse to confirm that I was FINALLY in the chair.

Because they had run so late, she must have had a scheduling conflict.  SO, after my treatment, I went downstairs to her office and explained out front what had happened.

The receptionist said that the dietician would be out to see me "in a minute."

Another hour went by.  SO MUCH WAITING!!  I finally got to chat with her for about 5 minutes, which really was all that was needed.  She encouraged my increased iron-rich foods, but also comforted me with the fact that my hemoglobin count is still normal.

..... and we FINALLY got to go home, after being there for THREE HOURS for what was supposed to be a 15 minute appointment.

So, that was a total of SEVEN HOURS of waiting this past week.  It's NEVER been that bad before.

Anyway, while I was sitting in the cancer center, waiting, my oncologist called and left a voice mail that my scans looked GOOD, and that we will just keep doing what we are doing.

So, that was a big relief!  It was funny that she called while I was sitting right there. You know.  Waiting. 

Anyway, that day, we got home so late that I did NOT do my strength training. I was too tired from all of the waiting.... it's SO aggravating.

On Thursday, I went ahead and did the yoga unit that I normally would do on Thursday, AND the strength training unit that I DIDN'T do on Wednesday, so that I felt satisfied that I was caught up.

There is no pressure in this study program, at all, but I put pressure on myself to stay current with the tasks, so that I feel like I am really participating, and improving my health at the same time.

I really can tell a difference already!

My zoom meeting on Friday with the exercise physiologist went really well. He is very encouraging, and takes everything I say about my experiences with the study seriously.

He is going to pass on my comments that the yoga videos might benefit from being re-done.  They are not interactive, since this program is designed for participants to do everything in the safety of their own homes (due to stage 4 cancer patients having potential mobility and immunity issues).

I said that not all of us are young yoga instructors (haha), and that most of us have ports installed in our chests, and many of us have bone metastases that prevent us from twisting, etc.   The yoga videos are, in places, far too challenging even for me, who has practiced yoga on and off for years.

There are many poses in the videos that I just can't do, or that I can't do with proper form and support, and those things can't be addressed if the teacher is not live in the room with the student.  My concern is that other participants who are not familiar with yoga will try too hard, and hurt themselves.

Hopefully, they will re-do the yoga videos for the next group of study participants, and use more of the yoga practices that are commonly referred to as restorative or "yin."  These poses are far less intense, and allow the body to melt into them for ease and healing.   There is no "pretzeling" in restorative yoga!

I am glad my week full of waiting and appointments is over!!  All I have next week is the in-office visit with my oncologist to discuss the scans.

In other news, my new walking shoes, combined with the inserts from the podiatrist, are REALLY helping my foot!  This is a relief, because he said if it didn't start to get better, I'd need to go back and get x-rays, etc.

We had more dry, hot weather this past week, and today, we are under a dust storm watch.  There is a cold front coming, bearing with it potentially 65 mile per hour winds, and a possible dust storm.  There is also a red flag fire warning for almost the entire state.

It's beautiful out this morning, but will be below freezing tonight, with those gusts.

UGH!  The wind is already starting to kick up.

Yesterday, I got all of my chores done inside, and then mowed half of the back yard (the other half doesn't need it yet).  It was a very active day, and I felt great!

Got in the hot tub after dinner, which was a DELICIOUS new to me recipe for linguine with clam sauce.  Clams are high in iron, so they fit into my diet modifications mentioned last week.  Shrimp are high in iron too.

The shrimp dish that I made earlier in the week was also delicious, but I still don't like shrimp, HAHA!  SO, Dave got all of those left overs.

Making pot roast today, and will make colcannon and a nice steak for St. Patrick's Day next week, which is also the last day of this chemo cycle.

The only chore I do on Sundays, usually, is to wash towels.  I'll also do the next lesson in the ongoing spiritual course I am taking.

Hope anyone reading this has a good week!  Best of luck to dear friend, E, who is having surgery!! We wish her swift, and comfortable healing! 

Sunny Sunday

 The good news is that my potential stress fracture is just tendinitis!  My podiatrist recommended different walking shoes, so I went and got fitted by a pro at the locally owned running and fitness store.

The new shoes are super comfortable, but I am still having pain, so I still need to let it rest more than I would like.

The not so good news is that my red blood cell count continues to go down.  It's not alarmingly low, but it's dropped every time I have had labs since starting this chemo. 

I was approved to continue with the chemo pill, so my doctor is not concerned, but I am keeping an eye on my diet, and have added more high iron foods to the menu.

When I get my bone treatment on Wednesday of next week, I will have a concurrent appointment with the dietician, and will discuss this with her at that time.

We got a grand total of about 10 minutes of soaking rain over the past week.  Not enough to do much good, but it DID wash Sammie's ashes into the ground, so we don't see them anymore.

The case with Fed Ex over her death is still pending, but has been escalated.  Dave calls every few days to ask why it hasn't been resolved yet.

He will be calling tomorrow.

I have a full docket of scans tomorrow.... CT chest, abdomen, and pelvis, with and without contrast, and a nuclear bone scan.  Ugh.

I will be there for at least 2 hours, due to the injection required for the bone scan.  I think it needs two hours to run through my body before they can do the scan.

Fortunately, I can eat breakfast, because my first scan isn't until noon, and then I can eat lunch between the CTs and the bone scan.

Unfortunately, this should result in a huge bill from the clinic.  Yay.

Then, after the scans Monday, and treatment Wednesday, I have my next zoom with the exercise physiologist for the wellness study on Friday.

I can bring him up to date on the foot/shoe story, and on how I am doing with the yoga and weight workouts.

I've also lost an average of about one pound per week due to being more active, and building muscle slowly and deliberately.

Anyway it will be a busy week, and I am tired.  Oh well.... I can rest as often as I need to, now.  It's quite a luxury, after struggling for years to keep working while fatigued from various treatment protocols.

This evening, we are going to celebrate our friend's birthday.  

He and his wife are the friends who come for Christmas Eve every year.  We have not been invited to their house since the power outage of Oct./Nov. 2020, when they let us come take showers and do laundry, so it will be nice. 

I am off to do a load of laundry, and then some yoga.  Have a good week!

A quiet week

 After all of the grief lately, and the utter trauma of last Saturday, this past week has been quiet.

I am a few days into my break from chemo, and my guts are just fine.  No waterfall diarrhea.  I'll go for my every three weeks labs tomorrow or Tuesday.

I see the podiatrist on Wednesday.

Dave has a case open with Fed Ex, but no resolution yet.  He will call them again tomorrow.  We are hoping that the driver is at least reprimanded, and that they repay us for the vet bill.

In the meantime, though, Dave's forgotten annual bonus came through (for 2 months of last year), so that helped us recoup the money on this side.  That was a big relief, and a VERY nice surprise.

We remembered that he waited until March to retire so that he would get the bonus, no matter how small.

We've been hearing that it's supposed to rain and rain and rain here, starting yesterday.  Not one drop yet, and the sun is out.

Hopefully, we will get some rain at some point in the next few days.  The forecasters keep saying we're in for a drought-breaking soak, but I won't believe it until I can go out and dance in the puddles, which I often do.

In the meantime, my daffodils are very happy, not having been thwarted by the freeze that we had after they started blooming.

The back yard is lush with non-native, but lovely, spring time plants, such as henbit and veronica.  Veronica is SO very pretty, with its tiny lavender colored flowers.

It's very strange to be out in the back yard without Sammie.  Strange, and hard. She loved us so, especially Dave.

I got all of my chores done yesterday, and today, we will be draining, cleaning, and refilling our little hot tub.

Given, of course, that it's not pouring rain.

Have a good week.

ANOTHER difficult good bye

 One day, I think it was about 3 years ago, a feral cat in our neighborhood showed up in our back yard, with her little black and white kitten.

We named them Gilly and Sam (Game of Thrones characters, as we had done with so many other feral cats), because we didn't know if the kitten was a boy or a girl yet. 

Time passed, Gilly disappeared, as they do, and Sam started coming around once in a while to find food.

In the summer of 2024, Sam showed up pregnant, so we shifted her name to Sammie.

On our wedding anniversary, July 12th, which was a day that saw a temperature of 110F, she decided to have her kittens in our patio chiminea.

There were SEVEN of them!  She was so young, and this was her first litter.

We did our best to keep her cool, and to protect her and the tiny, tiny kittens.  In a few days, she was up and about and going off, leaving them alone in the chiminea.  One of them died, and we figured out that it was the runt.

Anyway, as they started to grow and come out of the chiminea on their own, she moved them.  We don't know where.  We didn't see her or the kittens for about a month.

And then, one day, here she came, with five of the kittens marching behind her, tiny tails straight up!  The one that I had hoped to adopt, the black one with a tiny white spot on top of its head, was gone.

We did our best by those remaining kittens, but, in the end, three of them died by mishap, because feral cats wander, and some of them don't understand that cars are dangerous.

We got two the kittens successfully "fixed," with their shots, and adopted, and Sammie trusted us so completely that Dave was able to easily put her in a carrier to take her for shots, and to get her spayed, too.

After that, she left for a little while, but eventually came back, and stayed with us in our back yard.  

She adopted us as her people, though, from time to time, she would disappear, because feral cats wander.

She was, however, completely socialized with us, and with a couple of our house sitters.  She and Dave had a daily routine of food and cuddles, and she would always "help" me when I would work outside in some capacity, gardening, or just filling the bird bath, or checking the hot tub chemistry.

She let us give her flea prevention meds, the kind in a tube that you run in between their shoulder blades.

She even would sit in my lap out on the patio sometimes.  Usually, though, she would sit under my chair, or in the other chair, when I would sit out there.

Fast forward to yesterday.  

It was just another day, with Sammie coming out of her heated house in the back yard, for breakfast, and getting cuddles from Dave.

She "helped" me fill the bird bath, and her water dish, and everything was normal and relaxed.

Then, in the afternoon, a knock on the door.  It was the little boy from across the street.

"Do you guys have a black and white cat?"  My heart immediately jumped into my throat.... 

He let us know that several members of his family had seen the Fed Ex truck hit Sammie as she was going across the street.

She was lying in the gutter in front of our house, panting, paralyzed, and bleeding.  It was absolutely horrific.  

I ran to the shed to get Dave's leather work gloves, a towel, and a carrier.  We knew she was done for, and had to get her to an emergency vet to have her put down.

But when Dave tried to gather her up, she panicked, and lashed out and tried to escape...it was heart breaking because her back was broken, and all she could do was flop around and scream.

In the long run, after we sat in the street with her and calmed her, begging her to just let go.... he was finally able to get her into the carrier, and off we went.

It was extremely traumatic for all of us.  Dave was completely devastated. 

The neighbors were caring and compassionate, standing guard, like a vigil, around us as we sat in the street. One of them hugged me when I freaked out watching the first attempts Dave made to pick Sammie up.  

They also lodged a complaint with Fed Ex, and told us that they had actually chased the truck down the street, trying to get the driver to stop, but he wouldn't. 

So. She is gone.  Because feral cats wander.

We will collect her ashes in about a week.  It would have been too much to bring her broken body back for burial in the ground, which is somewhat frozen at this time of year.

A vet tech also cleaned the carrier before giving it back to us. It was a bloody, shitty mess.

Frank and Sammie were "through the window" friends, and had a routine of talking to each other (well, Frank talked, and she mostly just looked at him, haha!) in the evenings.  

He went from the back to the front of the house, getting in the windows and meowing, last night. 

It was so sad to witness.

Both of us are drained of tears this morning, and emotionally exhausted.  Every time I woke up last night, which was a lot, it all replayed in my mind.

That will take some time to fade, I'm sure.

But, she is at peace, forever safe and warm, and her lost kittens greeted her with love on the other side of the rainbow bridge.... at least that is how I comfort myself.

Especially our Scamper.  They are happily playing together, and sleeping in a big kitten pile.

And we will go on, keeping them all in our hearts, along with the other feral cats that we have cared for, and loved.

Maybe Luke will come back now.  Time will tell.

I let my friends know, and one of them came to clean up the blood in front of the house....I was going to do it myself, but she offered.... and I am grateful.  

Since there is no rain in the forecast, it would have stayed there for quite some time, as an ongoing reminder every time we leave the house.

In other news, I am still doing SO much better on the reduced dose of the chemo.  My fingers are completely healed, and I have only needed to take imodium once, back near the beginning of this cycle.

I completed my first week of the wellness study, as best I could, getting a late start and all.  Plus, I had planned to do my 3rd day of strength training yesterday, but.... well..... it didn't happen, and I messaged my "coach" to let him know why.

This coming week, my only appointment is to get my permanent crown, and then go for labs after I stop this chemo cycle on Wednesday.

Unfortunately, I think I have a new stress fracture, this time in my right foot.  My podiatrist can't get me in until Mar. 4th. 

In the meantime, I am not supposed to take walks or spend too much time on my feet.... thankfully, we have a pedal machine so I can still get exercise and participate in the wellness study.

Have a good week. 

Oops, I forgot it was Sunday again!

 I'm grateful that I have a friend who reminds me, when I don't publish my blog as per usual, HAHA!

Thanks, Nan! 

This past week, I finally got connected to the wellness study apps, and got my fit bit connected, too.  Next week, I will have my on line visit with the exercise physiologist, and I will get my first "batch" of tasks/exercises and yoga lessons.

I'm really looking forward to it!

This morning, we got up and went out for breakfast to meet with Dave's ex brother in law, David, who lives just 4 blocks away from us.

We now have four people who live in this neighborhood who we know in one way or another.  It's a comfort.  Two are on 12th street, and two on 11th!

My former dance director is in our neighborhood now, too, just a few blocks away.

Dave and David had not seen each other for many, many years, which is understandable.  They reconnected last year, via facebook, but had not seen one another until this morning.

David's father just passed away this past week, and Dave wanted to show sympathies, so we met him for breakfast, and then had him over to the house for a visit.

It was very good, I think.  Healing.

The Davids are more alike than they are different, these days, and we might be able to help one another out from time to time.

I think it did David good to see that Dave is not who he was years ago.

The sad part is that Dave's estranged son refused to go to this grandfather's funeral, too, just as he did when Dave's dad died.

He has apparently estranged himself from everyone in his family, except for Dave's eldest brother.

David said that Eric DID show up for his mother's funeral in 2023, but that he was late, and he was mostly interested in what he could get from her apartment when they cleared it out.

It's a shame he has become this way, but there is nothing to be done for it.

Anyway, I re-started chemo on Thursday, after verifying that my blood work was okay.  I have low white and red blood cell counts, but I guess they're not low enough to be of concern yet.

I feel okay, mostly... not run down or anything.

So far, the digestive issues have calmed down, and my fingers are healing well.

Also on Thursday, I had my first dental crown appointment.  The temporary is rough, and has already caused an abrasion on the inside of my cheek, where I get soreness from the chemo.

I have to keep the temporary in place for two weeks before the permanent one will be ready, so I may call and ask if they can smooth this temporary one off a bit, if it gets worse.

Also this past week, aside from the study appointment (on the phone), I had a follow up appointment (on line) with the dietician, so it will be nice to only have one appointment next week.

The weather has continued to be spring-like, and we got a little bit of rain yesterday, but not enough.

Dave doesn't like Valentine's day, but he surprised me with a pretty rose, and a box of chocolates yesterday.  I had already planned to make him some of his favorite foods for dinner last night, and it turned out great.

Tonight's dinner is an Asian soup, and the only chore I have done today was to throw in a load of towels, but I got everything else done yesterday, which was good, since I had not expected Dave to invite David over after breakfast.

Time to go out and refill the bird bath, and maybe see if there is any news on (the olympics preempt our preferred local news most of the time, but not always).

Have a lovely week!