Icemageddon.... not

Fortunately, the frenzy over the big ice storm was mostly for naught.

We got to go to work late and leave early on Friday, and all it did was sprinkle.  The grocery stores were all mad houses when we went on Thursday, but we were able to get our errands done.

We did get some ice in our area, but only a little, and not until Saturday morning.

It seems to only be on branches, rooftops, and overhead wires.  No power outage in our area, because the accumulation was so nominal.

The roads are just wet, but we didn't know what to expect.

I was supposed to go to Edmond this morning to do a trade with a massage therapist, but, for the second week in a row, we postponed it because of weather.

(this is the pay back session for the massage I got in September.)

Because we were sent home early, and we didn't know if we'd have power over the weekend, I went ahead and did all of the laundry and the vacuuming on Friday evening.

We ordered delivery (since Friday is typically date night, and we didn't want to be caught out in an ice storm), and re-watched some episodes of Game of Thrones.

Then, yesterday, since that stuff was done already, all I had to do was clean the bathroom and do some cooking.

I think I may have achieved a little bit of relaxation yesterday!  Relaxing is not my strong suit.

My doctor visit went well on Thursday afternoon.

He agreed to switch back to the hormone blocking pill in conjunction with the chemo pill, so I did not have to get the injections in my butt this time!

The monthly bone medication injections will still go on indefinitely, but they are not NEARLY as unpleasant as that hormone blocker was (one small injection under the skin of the arm compared to two very large injections into the muscles of both hips).

I had experienced a good deal of anxiety prior to this visit, both because I intended to question the doctor about changing my protocol (he might have decided to put me back on weekly IV treatments), and about having to endure those shots again.

Now that it's over, the anxiety is receding again, and, so far, I have not had a cramp since last weekend!

We keep forgetting to ask how long we are going to do this before my next scan. It must be a long term protocol.

This is a three day weekend, with tomorrow being a day off for my office, and Dave having taken one of his floating holidays.

Two years ago, on the Friday before Martin Luther King day, I started chemo for the first time.

Last year, I RE-started chemo on the same day (after a break for the holidays).

This year, I am already doing chemo, so no trauma is related to the weekend in 2017.

I finally got fed up with Dave's son being incommunicado.  I contacted him on facebook, and he's doing fine, he's just not in the mood to see his dad right now.

He does go through these phases.

We are glad he is doing well, and we miss him. He apologized for blowing me off at Christmas.

He'll come around when he's ready.

He probably hasn't thought about the fact that his dad has a tendency to be melancholy, like his beloved Granny was.

He probably hasn't thought about the fact that his dad's wife thought her battle with cancer was mostly over, and then they found out that it wasn't.

He probably hasn't thought about how this might have had an impact on his dad's overall attitude.

He probably hasn't thought about the fact that reacting to the political situation in the country is just one way in which his dad can express himself about how he feels overall.

He probably hasn't thought about the fact that punishing his dad for being negative, by withdrawing from his dad, doesn't help his dad get over being negative.

He also doesn't even know, because he has been withdrawn from us, that his dad was fully aware of how far down into melancholy he had gone.

He also doesn't know that his dad has pulled himself up by the bootstraps, and is doing a lot better.

That's okay, though.  He'll figure it out some day.

Or he won't.  He's a grown man, and there's nothing we can do to influence him.

Okay, we are off to get Pop's groceries, and to go see a movie, since the roads are just wet.

Then, home to do another cooking project or two.  We had run out of lunches!  Gotta get caught up.

Enjoy your Sunday!

Signs of winter

We had another few days of deep freeze (by OKC standards), and our first substantial snow of the season.

It snowed about 3 inches or so on Thursday night, and, of course, OKC doesn't plow or salt surface streets, only the highways, so it was a mess getting around town on Friday.

At the risk of someone seeing this post and relating it to me, I will just say that this has caused morale at work to be even more damaged than it already was.

It's starting to melt, though, and by this afternoon, the roads should be passable again.  It will be back up in the 60s this coming week.

Such a roller coaster.

We needed the moisture, though, and I am glad we got it.

Unfortunately, the forecast is calling for a possible ice storm next Friday.  I wonder how we will deal with having no choice but to get to work in that.  Yuck.

In other news, this is my week off of the chemo pill.  My sense of taste returns to normal pretty quickly, and my digestive system evens out, too.  It's nice to feel more normal for a few days a month.

The antibiotics have cured my sinus infection, and I feel a lot better in that regard.

I've started back on pro-biotics to rebuild my internal balance.

I see my doc this coming Thursday, and will ask about the increase in muscle cramping.

The hormone blocker not only has caused serious pain in the tendons of my wrists and thumb (my right wrist is starting to act like the left one did), but I've done some research, and it is also the likely cause of the major up-tick in night time foot and leg cramps.

I really need to sleep and rest, and almost every night, my sleep is interrupted by really bad cramps.

I have done EVERYTHING I know to remedy them, but this is something different than the ones I have gotten my whole life.  This is worse.

We'll see what happens.  Going back on IV chemo is an option, but I really don't want to go down that road again.

Maybe I can switch from the injections back to the hormone blocking bill.  All it did was make it so I couldn't bend my fingers.  *sad face*

Anyway...I am off to the kitchen to debone last night's chicken and make some soup.   My other cooking project is pork roast.

Dave is off doing his dad's grocery shopping.

Have a good week, gentle Reader!

Happy New Year

Well, folks, we made it.

2016 was sure a roller coaster ride for many of us.

For me, there were extreme highs: stable scans and being taken off of chemo for SIX MOTHS; getting to go home to see my family and friends (and not being bald this time); of course, the Chicago Cubs.

There were extreme lows: new cancer activity, and going back into treatment; the surreal and frightening election process; really bad morale at work; heartbreaking multiple celebrity deaths.

Even with that balance of good and bad, I am still glad to have kicked 2016 in the ass on it's way out last night.

I choose to stay positive, and I choose to hope that there are always better things to come.

I ended the year with a sinus infection and having to go on antibiotics.  I hate having to take them, but I can't take any chances since I am on chemo.

My months of focusing on pro-biotics and getting my system balanced out are now wasted. I will have to start all over.

Because I was feeling pretty sick on Friday (after a few days of feeling "off," that was the worst day--when I called my nurse), we had to cancel plans to go to our friends' house for an evening of watching a movie and sipping wine.  I was feverish and miserable.

Yesterday, Dave forbade me to go out for any reason, and I agreed.

So, while he went and got his car serviced, and did an errand or two, I made some spaghetti and meatballs to freeze for Dave's dad. I did the laundry, and then when he came home, Dave and I tag teamed the traditional cleaning of the fridge.

Mostly, I rested and let the antibiotics do their work.

By evening, I was feeling a lot better.

We had gotten some hot hors d'ouevres to fix, and nibbled on chips and dip last night.... No real dinner, just grazing, and it was a big treat, and our last hurrah before cleaning up the diet again after the holidays.

The weather was good for hot tubbing, so after watching 3 episodes of Game of Thrones, while we grazed on our yummies, we enjoyed the tub for an hour.

Then, the feature of our evening was watching "Harvey" with James Stewart (which was my tradition, now it's our tradition!), and making it to midnight to crack open a split of champagne and listen to fireworks (and firearms) going off all around us.

We turned on broadcast tv for the count down, and found that Saturday Night Live was replaying the show from the night that the Cubs players and Bill Murray were on, so we watched that until 1, and then went to bed.

All in all, there a lot of sitting in front of the tv yesterday and last night!

This morning, I am feeling queasy and "off" in a different way.  It's probably the antibiotics,  and the sinus drainage going down my throat.

The nausea was so bad when I got up that I was very happy to have the anti nausea meds they give to chemo patients in the cabinet.

That's helping tremendously.

But, just in case it's something more sinister than antibiotics and snot, I have canceled another social get together.

Friends were supposed to come by this afternoon and play Cards Against Humanity with us, and then share my black eye pea and ham soup.

Oh well.  Better safe than everyone getting a stomach bug.

I didn't really want to be social this weekend, anyway...but I would have preferred NOT to have to cancel our get-togethers because of feeling like shit!

Today, Dave will take the spaghetti to his dad, and go get his groceries for him.

I will continue to take it easy, and maybe do a little house cleaning, and make my soup.

Happy New Year to us all....may 2017 bring renewed positive energy into all of our lives.

Merry Christmas Day

It was SO NICE to have Thursday off after Solstice!  (Solstice was perfect, by the way.... delicious dinner, all of the music I listen to once a year, a fire in the chiminea, then a soak in the hot tub.  Stayed up til 1 am: not quite til sunrise!)

I was able to sleep in, and we got all of our grocery shopping and errands done.  I got the Sauerbraten started for tonight's dinner.

I've never had the time to actually start is three days in advance like you're supposed to, because I've always been at work (this is a relatively new tradition, this is only my 4th or 5th year doing it).

Then, on Friday, I spent the entire day cleaning house...really CLEANING it... to the point that I exhausted myself, and we missed a birthday party we were supposed to go to.

But, being on chemo, and being that fatigued, I didn't need to be around 40 people all at once.  Too risky, with virtually no immune system.

Dave also went down to his dad's on Friday and got his groceries, and did a couple more errands.

So we stayed home Friday night, and watched our netflix, and then got in the hot tub again.

Then, yesterday.... Christmas Eve....

The new ham pan worked out PERFECTLY.... It's an oval roasting pan with a rack that sits on the bottom.

When I ordered the Virginia ham, I asked them to send me the smallest one they had, and it was just right.

It fit in the pan as through they were made for one another.

While the ham cooked, I listened to The Messiah, and I dropped everything at the usual part to bow my head and weep.

Don't worry, Daddy.  I will never, ever forget.

We had friends around our table, and we ate of the sacred ham and spoon bread.  Our guests (our friends Peter and Rita from Edmond by way of Switzerland, and my friend Julie) brought yummy treats, conversation, warmth, and laughter to our table, and to my "sacred night."

Before we all parted, we had our Courvoisier toast to those who are no longer with us

It was wonderful.

We tried to stay up to watch "It's a Wonderful Life," but we were both too tired, and only made it about half way through.

The only thing missing was Dave's son.  He did not reply to invitations, and was nowhere to be seen or heard from.

That sort of hurt my feelings, because he knows how big of a deal Christmas Eve is for me, but I guess he couldn't be bothered to even say "no thanks" this year.

As my brother put it, that's his row to hoe.

Today, we got up and opened our presents.  My sister sent giardinera and muffaletta and olives that we can't buy here, and a new Chicago Cubs shot glass, and a WXRT radio cd.  My brother sent a book about the Grateful Dead.

Dave and I exchanged our major gifts already, so this morning, we just had little things to open.  I got him a book and pajamas, and he got me slippers and fancy soaps.

Then we had cold ham and biscuits for breakfast.

Next up, we are going to go see the newest movie in the Star Wars sage, "Rogue One."

Going to the movies on Christmas Day is one of Dave's traditions.  Once again, his son is "missing," but our friend Peter, who was here last night, will be joining us. (just to be clear, we know Dave's son is okay, he's posting on face book, just not communicating with us)

When we get home, I will start a batch of gin punch, and get the sauerbraten into the oven.  It not only marinates for 3 days, it also slow roasts for 4 hours.

Tomorrow, Dave's brother and sister in law from Kansas are coming down to do Christmas with Pop.  We will go over there for a while, but tomorrow will mostly be about taking down all of the Christmas and Yule decorations and putting them away.

As many of you know, that's been my "thing" since my mother died overnight on the Christmas of 1996.

In other news, the cortisone shots have worked wonders.

The cyst is still visible on the left wrist, but I have full function back.  The right thumb still pops, but I can bend and straighten it, without it getting stuck in the bent position, and without pain.

I hope this lasts, because I really don't want surgery.  At the moment, I am VERY happy with the results.

Okay, time to get myself ready to go to the movies.  Merry Christmas to those who celebrate... Happy Hannukah to those who celebrate as well!

EDIT: it dawned on me today that this is a milestone, of sorts.  My mother died Christmas night 1996. 20 years.

Wow.

It's almost Winter Solstice...

...wow....how did that happen?

Thursday was all about doctors.  I managed to get my orthopedic doctor appointment on the same day as my monthly trip to the cancer clinic.

My appointment with the orthopedic doc went well enough, I guess.  He said that it's impossible to determine if the cause of my "triggering joints" is work related or cancer treatment related, so he recommended against filing work comp.

He offered to do cortisone injections right then and there, but I didn't yet have permission from the oncologist to receive any kind of additional treatment, so I had to wait.

The great thing was that the ortho said I could come back later the same day if the oncologist said yes, since I was headed to the oncologist next!

I have been in so much discomfort that I was VERY happy to hear that offer!

So, I saw the ortho at 1:30, then went to my oncology nurse visit at 3, got my port flushed with my lab draw, had my usual monthly injections, and the nurse texted the doc, who was off on Thursday, and got permission for me to go back to the ortho and get cortisone shots!

(I was a pin cushion on Thursday...port access plus 5 injections...gah)

They did one at the base of my right thumb (that one hurt the worst), and one in my left wrist.

They seem to have helped.

The issues with the left wrist are MUCH improved, and the right thumb is somewhat improved.... to the point that I did chores and laundry all day yesterday, and had very little discomfort for the first time in months.

The ortho said that if the shots don't work, the only other option in surgery.  I tend to disagree with that, but we will just wait and see.

In other news, this coming week will be a three day work week for us.  I am looking forward to that.

I don't know if I posted anything here about the ridiculous policy at my work place regarding being allowed to use our days off....but, be that as it may, I DO have an extra day off this week, so that I can actually celebrate both of my holidays.

I've never taken a day off for Solstice before, and I am very happy to have wrangled it out of my employer.
(Here's the nut shell version, I had requested-- and been approved-- to take Dec. 22nd off back in MAY.
They revoked that approval at the end of Sept., based on a policy that states that we can only take THREE extra days off around ONE of the Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year holidays.

I already had my ONE day off for our trip at Thanksgiving, which I had scheduled last year, and somehow, they decided that the ONE extra day at Thanksgiving equated the limit of THREE extra days, and so they revoked my ONE day at Christmas.

They said it was revoked and under review, because I had taken a day at Thanksgiving.  They said they might re-approve it, but that I would have to wait and see.

I suggested that the policy then be re-written, if the REAL rule is that you can't take ANY days at one holiday, and expect to be allowed to take ANY days at another.

They did not re-write the policy, and just said they would let me know later if my December date had been re-approved.
They made me wait until November to find out if I was going to get it back, and I had to ASK, because it had been forgotten about.  ALL of this after praising me for my work ethic, my superior attendance, and my lack of abuse of the time off policies.  Yeah.)

We are having very cold weather for Oklahoma this weekend, but by Solstice night, it should be good weather to have a fire in the chiminea.

Since I don't have to get up at 5:45 the morning after the longest night, I can actually stay up and celebrate it in the way that usually only happens if Yule falls on a weekend.  It will be nice to stay up far into the longest night.

Then, we are getting our ducts cleaned on the 22nd...how festive!

Our Swiss friends are coming for Christmas Eve dinner to help us eat the ham.  That will be nice.

Happy holidays, gentle readers!

18-24? No way...

Shortly after I was diagnosed, I read an essay by a journalist who had just died from stage 4 breast cancer.  In her essay, she said that the average life span for women diagnosed stage 4 was 18-24 months.

Two years ago today, I received my first bit of really, really bad news.

The first biopsies had been done a few days prior. 

Three core/puncture biopsies of the right breast without sedation. That was truly and utterly the most horrifying and painful experience of my entire life to date.

Those biopsies had revealed invasive ductal carcinoma. 

That diagnosis resulted in the ordering of a breast MRI, which revealed another tumor on the left side. 

That diagnosis resulted in the ordering of biopsies on the left side (done by a far more compassionate doctor, and not as awful), which were done Dec. 29 (?), which determined Tubular lobular (in situ) was on the left.

On Dec. 31, I was in the chair of an oncologist's office. 

He recommended a double mastectomy, and ordered a PET scan and a brain MRI.  By the beginning of January 2015, I had been to the surgeon for an initial consult, and had heard the worst possible news that I could ever have imagined.

Stage 4, bones, liver, and lymph nodes.  Average max life span?  5 years.

But today marks the day which started that cascade of horror. I think I will do my best today to celebrate that the "18-24 months" is OVER, and I am still here, and still thriving.

Next goal? BLAST past that 5 year mark, and still be here, thriving!

Yule prep

I can't believe it's December already!

Thankfully, I bought most of the holiday gifts for my family in October, and have the last few on the way now.  I should be able to get the box in the mail to them next weekend.

Dave and I exchanged our main gifts already, because he was with me when I finally found the shaver he wanted.  We will still exchange gifts on Christmas morning, but the "big ones" are already given.

He got me an iPod.  My work place has become insufferable in many ways, and having a music device with ear buds will be a life saver.

We also ordered a new big pan to cook the holiday ham in. That's kind of a house hold gift, too.  The old one was really cheap enameled ware, and the ham actually burned onto it last year.  It was not salvageable.

The ham is also ordered, and the cards are done.  I just have to print out my letter and put on the stamps.

We are in for some really cold weather this coming week, for which I am grateful.  I hope it kills off some of the allergens and bugs.

The person who sits next to me at work came in sick the other day.  I asked her to put on a mask, but she did not, and she had a nasty, wet cough... and now I am sick.  I don't have much of an immune system, after all.

I never got sick through all of the IV chemo, but this time, I am sick.  I have a sore throat and a head ache, and a stuffy head.  I've been drinking home made broth and tea, and a little cognac.

I don't think I am in any danger.  If I were, I'd be much sicker by now.  I have not had a fever, but have just felt miserable.

I spent much of yesterday resting, and I think that helped, along with my broth.

Roasted a chicken last night, and am now off to the kitchen to turn it into soup.