There and back again....

Our trip to Illinois and Michigan was an action packed adventure, with intrigue and romance!

Well, maybe not so much intrigue, as way too much to do, and way too little time with my family and friends.

I got together with the friends who expressed interest in seeing me, and as for the others, well, there just wasn't time for me to reach out to them and make suggestions.

The coolest part was that I got to see my grade school best friend for the first time in 38 years.




The trip to the wedding was a fun caravan on Friday, with stops along the way at distilleries and breweries, and our GPS sent us a different way than everyone else, and we ended up in a traffic jam somewhere in Indiana for almost 2 hours.

But, we got to Michigan safely, and our Air BnB house was perfect for us.  We noticed that something was wrong with one of our tires, though, but had no time or opportunity to go get the tires replaced.

Dave kept saying he wasn't worried about it.  I kept worrying about it.

Friday night, we went to the party at a local roof top bar, and met everyone there, including the wedding party, and all of the families.

It was cool and very windy up there, and that's possibly how Dave managed to get a really bad cold, that hit him as we were headed back to Oklahoma.

The wedding day dawned beautifully, with clear skies, sunshine, and a high in the mid 70s.

The chapel was beautiful...



... and the ceremony was really cool.  They did this thing called a "letter box ceremony," where they put letters in the box that they wrote to each other, and sealed.   In the future, when they have a fight or other difficulty, they are to open the box and read the letters, to remember why they got married.

If they don't have any issues in the first 5 years, then, on their 5th anniversary, they are to open the box and read the letters.

I love this idea!



Instead of rice or bird seed, we all had little wands with ribbons in the wedding colors, and tiny bells on them.

When people were gathering for pictures at the chapel, I approached the photographer and asked who was to be included in the family pictures.

She said "Parents, grand parents, and siblings only."

I was crestfallen.  I had gotten 6 inches of my hair cut off, and had a new bob style done so that I would not look like a mop in the pictures. NOT TO MENTION, we came all the way from Oklahoma so I could be at this wedding.

SO... we left....*sad face*


The reception was held at a distillery.  The room was pretty cool, and the tables very pretty....



The favors were little bottles of house made spirits, and the theme was national parks  We were put at the Rocky Mountain National Park table, which was the only choice for our family.

There was also a table for the deceased grand parents and one great grand parent (my parents and grandma are on the right, and another pic of my parents on the far left in color)....




When my brother found us at the reception, he asked why we were not there for pictures at the chapel with the rest of the family.

I told him that the photographer had turned us away.   He insisted that it had been a dire mistake, and was not acceptable.

SO, the groom set up a shoot for us there at the reception hall.  He expressed that I had helped raise him (I lived next door to my brother and ex sister in law when John was born, and I babysat him on a weekly basis), and that I needed to be included, along with his Aunt Elsa.

This is NOT one of the official pictures, obviously.... this one was taken with my phone as we were setting up for the photographer...



It was a wonderful, happy day.



I even got up and danced a little at the reception. There was much merriment....the people downstairs at the distillery even complained about the loud party up above.  The staff said something to the effect of "that's what the party space is for. Deal with it..."

Unfortunately, we had to get up and leave in the morning, so we did not go to the after party.  We headed back to the BnB by ourselves.

Next morning, we were up and out by about 8:30, and our GPS told us we would get to our friends' place in central Missouri by about 5:30.

Perfect.

We got underway, and noticed that the GPS was not sending us back the way we came, and we ended up on rural two lane roads with no places to stop.

We pulled over, and Dave realized he had the device set up wrong, to avoid highways.  He re-set it, and we got back on the road.

When we got up to speed, though, that was when Dave decided to start worrying about the tire.

There was no way to tell which tire it was that had separated on the inside, so we would have to get them all replaced.  The danger of a blow out was imminent.

On Sunday morning, in rural Illinois.

It took 4 hours to find an open tire shop.  After several frustrations, long distance help from my friend Nancy, and a google search, we finally found a place and got to it an hour before it closed.

They charged us $750 for a set of 4 tires, balancing, and installation. We had just gotten paid on Friday, thank the Gods, because neither of us had a credit card with us.

We were absolutely starving, so we walked over to a fast food restaurant and had lunch at 3:30 while the tires were being installed.

When it was all done and over, we were still 5 hours away from our Missouri destination, and the GPS sent us across through Hannibal MO, instead of back to 44.

It was a harrowing, aggravating, and exhausting day.  Another reason Dave got sick, I think.

We arrived safely, though, and they fed us dinner at 10:30 pm.

Up and out the next morning, and the stupid GPS sent us the longest way possible back to Oklahoma.

What should have been a 4 hour drive was an 8 hour drive.

We weren't sure how to get back to route 44 from their rural home, so we trusted the GPS, and instead, it sent us out route 70 toward Kansas City, and then broke south.....  but we didn't know where it was going to take us, so we kept hoping it would lead us back to 44 eventually.

It didn't until we were back in Oklahoma.

NEVER again with that GPS!!  It's never failed us like that before.  There are better apps available for our phones.  We will use those from now on.

We rolled in at about 7:30, tired beyond reason, unloaded the car, and just had snacks for dinner, since there were no groceries in the house.

We WERE supposed to have been home by early afternoon, with time and energy to do grocery shopping.

Thank goodness, we had taken Tuesday off!!  We both woke up feeling ill, Dave more so than me, and we still had much to do.

Got the bills paid, and the errands done, Tuesday morning, and then rested the rest of the day.

I was able to move money from savings to our regular account, to replace some of the money spent on the tires, but it wiped out our savings, and didn't cover the full amount we'd spent on the tires.

Then, we got a bill for the plumbing work that was done a couple of months ago.... and the money that had been left aside to pay for it was gone!

A friend sent me $250 to help out.... I sent that to the plumber, and he is being merciful with us, after hearing the story.  He's letting us delay paying the rest of his bill until we can recover a little.

All in all, I am VERY glad that we were able to be at the wedding, and that I was able to see some friends, and of course, my family....

but that homeward trip was AWFUL, and it removed all of our "vacation buzz."

I went back to work depressed, frustrated, and worried about money, not feeling at all refreshed or restored, like I should have been.

BUT, I DID get to the beach for about 15 minutes on the wedding day, and took a minute long video of the waves, and a seagull walking along the water's edge. 

If I watch that video, and look at the pictures from the wedding, it does help a lot!

Welcome September

It seems that the intense heat of summer is over with, just as September begins.

We've also had so  much rain again that we have not been able to get out and mow.  Dave will do it tomorrow, taking advantage of a few days with no rain, and a holiday.

We had a storm last week that was so terrifying that now I know why the cats freak out when it thunders.

This storm was just like the one in April of 2017.
That was the one that happened while we were away, trying to celebrate my 55th birthday in a luxury cabin in the woods (unlike our more rustic cabin that we rent every Thanksgiving).

That one, in April of 2017, tore down all of those trees in our back yard, and ripped the power service off of the back of the house, sending the riser flying 70 feet away from the house like a missile.

That one, in 2017, left us without power for a week, and cost us all of our refrigerated/frozen food, and over $5,000.00 out of our pocket in clean up and electrical repairs.

The insurance paid $1200.00.... equal to their deductible.  We had to borrow against Dave's dad's trust (with full approval, of course) to come up with the $5K.

Anyway, on Thursday night, about a mile from our house, they clocked the straight line winds at 95 miles per hour.

Our windows were literally rattling, the house was shaking, and branches came down all around our neighborhood. We still have one dangling out of the pecan tree over our cable and electrical lines.  Dave has a tool on order at Lowe's to try to reach up there and get it down without taking the lines down, too

The city will not help us, because the tree is on our property.

If we didn't have a new roof already, the old one would have been destroyed, shingles all over the neighborhood.

Power was knocked out far and wide, whole sections of town are still dark, businesses closed, and some of the traffic lights still don't work yet.

There was massive flooding, as 2 inches of rain fell in about 45 minutes.

It was epic!

There was only one tornado, though, that caused very little damage way up north of us.  The rest were straight line winds.

We are very grateful that our power stayed on, and that the pecan tree is still standing.

Dave saw his new psychiatrist this past Monday for the first time.  He likes him.  They will be changing his anti depressant, and decreasing his anti anxiety dosage.

The anti anxiety medication causes him to have tremors and to jump while he's sleeping.  I really hope that goes away.

Dave is continuing to go to a talk therapist, as well, and I can really tell the difference in him.

He's actually reading a book now!

This is a big deal, because he's not usually able to follow through with anything he starts.  He picks something up and never finishes is.

Like that instrument he bought himself for his 60th birthday.  He sold his bass guitar and his ukelele, which he never followed through with, to have the money for this unique instrument.

It's been sitting in a box ever since.

Maybe this winter, he will take it out, and watch videos, and learn how to play it.

This past week, I also went to my oncologist's new office.

This was his original goal when he moved out of the practice that was taken over by the huge hospital system, but the building wasn't ready yet, so he had to go to an interim location for 8 months.

Now he is back in a facility that has a phlebotomy lab, an imaging center, and radiation therapy all in one place.

I won't have to go to three different places anymore!

It will be time for scans again in October.  If they come back clear again, I am going to ask if I can get this port taken out.  I am SO tired of having to have it flushed every other month, and the last time I had it flushed, something weird happened (I think the needle came out of it or something, after she had pushed the needle through my skin), and I jumped and yelped....  It was pretty awful.

Maybe he can make it medically necessary... say there's something wrong with it,  and it that has to come out.... so the procedure will be paid for by insurance.

We are preparing to go to Illinois and Michigan soon.  My nephew is getting married in Michigan (no idea why they did that to their families, making everyone spend money to find lodgings out of state).

The hotel where they got a block of rooms is SUPER expensive.  It would have worked out to about $150 per person per night, for just a place to sleep, so I booked an Air BnB for us, my sister and brother in law, their kids, and their son's girlfriend.

It's costing us each $32 a night.  THAT is manageable!

Plus, we have a whole house, not just a room to sleep in, so we can buy groceries and eat in, which is also much less expensive than having to eat all meals out.

We will be in Illinois for 4 days, and Michigan for 2 days, and we will leave from Michigan to head back home on the morning after the wedding.  We will return to work on the Wednesday after.

I had to ask for special permission to use more than 5 vacation days at a time.

Also this week, I went and got my long hair chopped off.  I wanted to NOT look like a mop in the wedding pictures.

She cut off 6 inches of length, and added layering.  However, she did NOT cut the top, straight layer enough, so it covers all of the waves, and I will STILL have to pin it back.

I asked her to cut it short, but she refused, and said she would rather blend it to try to give a good overall shape.

I get that, that part works, but I want my waves to be wavy, not buried under heavy, straight hair.

OH well...its really cute, other than that!  I just wish I were allowed to dye it lavender, or opal (lavender, teal, pink, etc).  Stupid rules at work.

Tomorrow, since none of us in class are out of town, we are having our usual Monday dance class, but we are having it at 4 instead of 7:30.  It's nice to have the freedom to do that, and we need the practice before our performance at the end of the month.

Today, we are meeting a friend for brunch.  Seems like every time I tell Dave that we need to curtail our spending, he wants to go to brunch.... sigh....

SO, that being said, I am off to the shower.  Have a nice holiday weekend!

Last weekly post

Just as I suspected, I received no comments here, so I am going to assume that there really is only one person who reads this, and I am going to stop posting weekly.

This past week was interesting.

I started feeling sick on Sunday night, and ended up calling in to work (for the first time in a year and a half) due to an intestinal issue (I won't go into detail).

When I got to work on Tuesday, I heard that three others had dealt with similar issues starting on Friday night and going through the weekend.  Another co worker was off Tuesday for the same reason.

We had our annual performance reviews (the first time we have actually had them in about 3 years).  After hearing glowing words about my superior work ethic, I found out that they want me to start answering phones on top of everything else that I do.

My late boss, despite the issues between us, always said that I had too much to do to answer phones.  Now she's gone, and they are going to train me.

I always said I'd quit if they made me answer phones.

Gawd, how I dread it.  I reacted to seeing it in my review, and the supervisor said "Does that give you anxiety?"

I said "Yes, yes, it does."  She said that I am the only person in the billing office who doesn't provide back up on phones or front desk.

That's true, but there is a reason for that.  I CAN'T work the front desk, because I am the double check person for payments that come in, and I don't answer phones because my work is largely concentration-intensive.

I provide "back up" in that I reconcile all of the work done by the payment posters, and give them back their mistakes to correct.  How am I supposed to do that, and be interrupted by phone calls?

I listen to the call center people taking calls all day every day, and the people who call are generally angry and rude.   This is why I do NOT work customer service, and never have.

Now, I no longer have a choice.

But...I need to stay through this year, due to time off that I want to take to go to my nephew's wedding, and to take our annual cabin camping trip.

On Friday, Dave had to go to Tulsa for the first part of a corporate-wide class on "emotional maturity."  He dreaded that as much as I dread working phones.  It requires being in a group of people he doesn't know, or doesn't like, and talking.

He's anti social, and a misanthope, and this is his worst nightmare.

He was home by 2:30, though, and went and had a couple of beers while I finished my work day.  As we were driving home, he started to feel bad.

As it turned out, he had the intestinal issue that I had dealt with at the beginning of the week, and he was up much of Friday night.  He felt better by noon, but was feeling pretty exhausted.

We were supposed to go to our friends' Swiss National Day party last night, but we did not go.

Because he had felt bad Friday, we didn't go out and do our errands like we usually do, and because there was nothing in the house to make dinner, and we usually grab something out on errand night, we ordered some salads delivered from Jason's Deli, and ate at home.

Then, yesterday, I got up and out and did the errands myself.  This is a source of anxiety for me, and it was good for me to do it.

I took care of everything myself when I lived back home, before and after my divorce, but I have become overly dependent on Dave going with since moving here TEN years ago.

The times that I have gone by myself have felt like little triumphs, and yesterday was no different.

Today, Eric's friend Rickey is going to help Dave go get a new TV for Pop and install it in his room.  His current TV was our old TV from when I first moved down here, and it is starting to fail.

Since watching TV is basically all Pop does, he needs a good one.

This is one reason we still have a credit card for Pop's account.

While they're gone, I will get my weekly chores done, and hopefully practice dance.  I missed class on Monday, and we have a show coming up at the end of September.

Speaking of Eric, he and his girlfriend, and some other friends, are on vacation in Italy, and Eric proposed.  She said yes!

Looks like I will finally have to meet his mom.  IF he invites her... which he may not do.  Don't know.

It's been a lovely morning here, after a couple of days of clouds that lowered our temperature.  No rain, unfortunately.  Everything is turning brown.  Unfortunately, it will be back up in the 100s again by the end of the week.

My sister and brother in law got back safely from the UK on Monday night.  Hopefully, I will get to talk to her today and hear all about it.

I'm considering....

... discontinuing my weekly posts.

I started doing the weekly entries when I was in a major health crisis, and was trying to keep loved ones far away informed of the step by step process of fighting cancer.

It was easier than multiple phone calls all saying the same thing, especially because I am just not a fan of talking on the phone.

Now, I find it difficult to think of things to say in my blog from week to week.... and I only know of one person who actually reads what I write.

If there is more than one of you out there, please leave a comment, and leave your thoughts on my going back to only posting when something important happens.  

Thanks!

We had a beautiful week this past week.  It was so much cooler that we could open the screen doors in the mornings and let the fresh air in.

This was fortunate, because it was this past week that our air conditioning decided to go on the fritz.

Thankfully, the service call fee was all we had to pay, because the technician said all it needed was a cleaning.

Phew!

I got out and walked every day, and never got one heat related head ache!  Yay!

Today, we are going to go see Pop, and hope that he's awake.  It's so frustrating to go all the way up there and find him sleeping.

We usually reward ourselves with a margarita and some nachos at a restaurant that we like,  so that helps a little.

Anyway, I have a video of the Union Pacific 4014 steam engine that I hope to be able to show him.  He probably doesn't remember me telling him that they rebuilt one, and it's in steam again, so this will be all new for him.

EDIT: Here's what I posted on the Union Pacific Steam Club page after we visited Pop today:

My father-in-law is 88, and lives in a memory care home. Usually, when we go to see him, he's either asleep, or mostly incoherent, due to his unique form of dementia.

I downloaded the video my nephew took of the 4014 blowing through Wheaton, IL, as well as the night time picture my brother Cole posted earlier, and we went to visit Pop.

I found a picture of the 4023 in one of Pop's train books, and we looked at that picture while I told him about the restoration of the 4014 (again).

Then, I got my lap top, and played the video for him, and he just busted out in the biggest smile I think I have ever seen on his face. He was totally engaged, and lucid, with us for those few minutes.

He even commented with the critical eye of an artist on the beauty of the "sleeping giant" picture.

It was such a gift!!

Thanks, Ed and crew, and everyone else who brought the Big Boy back to life.

We live in OKC, and hope to see it ourselves some day!

Anyway.....We got the chores and yard work done yesterday, so there is nothing else pressing to do today.

Dog days

Not much to write about this week.

It's been super hot all week.  Like in the 100 degree range, with heat index readings well above 100.  Seems that's been the case over much of the country. 

I know Chicagoland has been dealing with it, too.

The scary thing is that it's happening in parts of the country where the folks aren't used to it.  Like Alaska.

It becomes dangerous no matter what, but when people are ill-prepared, they die.

My boss's funeral was well-attended, and there was, indeed, an actual changing of the guard.

My employer is the local ambulance company, and they provide an honor guard at events and funerals that are pertinent in the community.

They did the honor guard thing for Vicki.

It was impressive, and evoked a lot of emotion.  There were 8 guards, in dress uniforms, with white gloves.  The one standing by the ashes changed 3 time before the service started.

We were let out of work an hour and a half before the service, and the person I rode with and I got there first, and just waited and waited. 

Apparently, everyone else went out for lunch, but no one told us, or invited us to join them. 

Just like no one offered to give me a ride until the last possible minute, even though I asked three times (once in a meeting, once by wandering around asking people I thought would be likely candidates, and once in a group email).

One person couldn't NOT smoke for a half hour so I could ride with her.  I thought she could have smoked outside before and after we got in her car, but she was not willing to do that, and I can't be around cigarette smoke.  I hate it, for one thing, and I get blisters inside my eye lids when I am around it.

It seems that the person who drove me, and I, are the outcasts, and she was willing to leave me without a ride until all other options were gone, and so was everyone else in the office, which  makes me the most outcast of all! 

Whatever.

I thought management should have arranged car pools, but I am not management, and my idea was not taken up.  I also think the REASON for letting us leave an hour and a half before the service should have been clarified (so we could go to lunch).  I ate at my desk before I punched out, because I didn't want to be starving until the funeral ended at 2.

SO, we waited there alone and watched the changing of the guard a couple of times more than anyone else, so that was pretty cool.

The rest of the week has just been a series of dashing from the car into buildings to stay out of the heat.

The good thing is that the grass isn't growing much, so no yard work needs to be done.

The handy man/contractor came back and finished the bits of the roofing job that were not done, or were done badly.  We're still waiting to see if the insurance is going to actually pay as much as they said they would.

I don't understand how they can give an approved amount, and then change their minds AFTER the work is completed....

Our contractor says State Farm does that all the time.....he's used to it....

Well, that's all fine and dandy, but it leaves US with having to pay him hundreds more than anticipated! 

We'll see what happens.

Today, we have to run to Lowe's, and will go see if Pop is awake, but that's all we have planned outside of the house.

Have a good week, dear readers. If there is more than one of you, HAHA.

Changing of the guard

Well, my boss died on Wednesday.

According to my co worker (who has his job because he is a friend of her family, like me, only MUCH closer), she never really woke up after last Saturday, and the family took her off of life support and dialysis by Monday.

The hospital kept her in ICU, but they stepped her down to "comfort care," which means that they basically drugged her into an induced coma and waited for her to die.

I am glad that her suffering is over, and I am glad that her family was around her when she stopped breathing.

We all get to leave work tomorrow at 11:30 to go to the funeral.


In other news....

there isn't much....

We celebrated our 11th anniversary on Friday, with dinner and cocktails at a cool "retro" styled supper club.

The old school cocktail menu is extensive and interesting, but the food menu is not, HAHA.

We ordered beef stroganoff to split, and I am pretty sure that it was doctored up Hamburger Helper.  It was pretty bad!

But the place has a fun atmosphere, and the drinks were great.  We'll go back some time, not anticipating good food!

Maybe just get a cocktail and an appetizer.

Yesterday, I went to yoga class in the morning, and then a massage therapist friend followed me home from class, and I had a Reiki client for the first time in years!

It felt SO GOOD to do healing work for someone again!  I would love to try to rebuild a practice around doing Reiki and other kinds of esoteric healing work.  I don't need strong hands to do that, just ALL of my other skills!

Today, Dave is mowing right now before it gets too hot, and then we will make a run to Costco, then back home for a relaxing afternoon.

Yikes...

We got the bill for Dave's E/R visit!  Jeez....

The full charges were almost $2000!!  Our portion is  $407.

Yippee.

In other news, remember that idiot on the motor cycle who pulled out in front of us last summer?  He had no insurance, expired tag, and no mirrors on the bike....

The investigation started by our insurance company, that eventually involved their attorneys, seems to have turned something up.

I got a letter from the state on Friday, indicating that they found him, despite his false address and phone number, and he went to court.

The judge ordered him to deposit $1600 into an account that I can withdraw from, once we both (myself, being the car owner, and the idiot on the motor cycle) sign some documents, and get them notarized.

The letter says that he can refuse to sign his portion, and that I can then sue him.

Dave will call our insurance agent tomorrow, as the letter from the state indicates that we should contact them. 

My guess is that they will take the money, but we'll see.

I'd like to recover our $800 deductible at least.

If that works out, then I can pay the E/R bill in full with left overs!

The timing probably won't work out, though.  I would imagine that this payment from the court will take a long time to come through, if I get anything at all out of it.

We were supposed to go to Houston for our long holiday weekend (we took Friday off), but it didn't happen.  Our hostess had a death in her family.

SO, we have really enjoyed just being free and easy with our days off.

We got one grocery store trip done on Thursday, and another on Friday.

We went to the Oklahoma City Museum of Art on Friday for a lovely special exhibit, and spent way too much money eating out a couple of times.

(that was before the E/R bill came, haha!)


Remember that my boss, who has now retired, was diagnosed with cancer last year?

The news is that she is not doing well at all.

The tumor is not responding to chemo this time, and has become huge.

It's in her abdomen, and the last time she was seen at the office (she just came in for a meeting with the VP and left--not coming back to see us even for a brief moment), she was in a wheel chair.

The location of the tumor is causing her legs to swell to the point of making her unable to walk.

Since then, she has become bed ridden, and I received news yesterday that she is currently in the intensive care unit at the hospital across from the office.

I remember when I told my doctor about my boss, and told him it was neuroendocrine cancer, he grimaced and said "Oh no, that's too bad...."

He went on to explain that, while it might have responded miraculously to the first round of chemo, that it WOULD come back, and she could go through multiple times of it coming and going, but that it would likely stop responding at some point.

He was right, but she only got one successful round of chemo.  She and her family have now elected to stop treatment, since it's not doing anything.

While I admittedly had my differences with her (tying to coerce me to leave, and making my job a living hell while I was in chemo), I am sorry that she is suffering.

I hope they are able to make her somewhat comfortable.

Today, Dave is hoping to finally do the trimming in the yard that he has been putting off for a couple of weeks, and we will go later to dinner with his son (and possible future daughter in law).

In the meantime, I will be doing laundry and my usual chores, which I have also put off.

Time to get busy!