Back in Illinois, after I announced my need to relocate, my boss helped me get my first job interview scheduled.
It's this morning, 9/30, at 9:30. Is that a good omen? A girl can hope.
It's at a company that is a mere 3 minutes away, too.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Redefining home
When I set out on this blog's journey, one of the major points was to redefine what "home" means.
Because I had fallen in love, and married a man from out of state, I knew that, at some point, I was going to have to relocate my entire life to a new city.
D realized, a very long time ago in our history, that he would be unable to relocate. If we were ever to live together as husband and wife, I would be the one who would have to move.
For over a year, I was looking at the door, knowing that I would have to walk through it and say good bye to my job, my friends, my family, and my various communities: not only residential, but spiritual and dance related.
How do you redefine "home" when you are preparing to leave behind EVERYTHING that word means to you?
For over a year, I was smothered by stress and anxiety.
For over a year, the fear that was in my heart was crouching like a lynx, snarling at me at times, purring at others.
And now, here I am, finally on the other side of that door.
The heart wrenching good byes have all been said, the horrendous 2 days of travel are in the past, and my belongings are being unpacked and settled in around me.
It all feels completely surreal, though. I can't believe that the hardest parts of all are now in the past.
I honestly don't know how to FEEL. I have not been weeping as much these past couple of days, so that's a good thing.
I have been living in chaos for about 6 weeks, going back to when I started to pack up my belongings, and preparing myself, mentally, for what was to come.
I've been crying every day for what feels like a life time, so it's good that I am taking a break from that.
But now, as I strive to start every part of my life OVER again, I am just numb.
The redefinition, in full, is going to take time.
But, for now, at least I can say that I live with my husband, and that's a very, VERY good start!
Because I had fallen in love, and married a man from out of state, I knew that, at some point, I was going to have to relocate my entire life to a new city.
D realized, a very long time ago in our history, that he would be unable to relocate. If we were ever to live together as husband and wife, I would be the one who would have to move.
For over a year, I was looking at the door, knowing that I would have to walk through it and say good bye to my job, my friends, my family, and my various communities: not only residential, but spiritual and dance related.
How do you redefine "home" when you are preparing to leave behind EVERYTHING that word means to you?
For over a year, I was smothered by stress and anxiety.
For over a year, the fear that was in my heart was crouching like a lynx, snarling at me at times, purring at others.
And now, here I am, finally on the other side of that door.
The heart wrenching good byes have all been said, the horrendous 2 days of travel are in the past, and my belongings are being unpacked and settled in around me.
It all feels completely surreal, though. I can't believe that the hardest parts of all are now in the past.
I honestly don't know how to FEEL. I have not been weeping as much these past couple of days, so that's a good thing.
I have been living in chaos for about 6 weeks, going back to when I started to pack up my belongings, and preparing myself, mentally, for what was to come.
I've been crying every day for what feels like a life time, so it's good that I am taking a break from that.
But now, as I strive to start every part of my life OVER again, I am just numb.
The redefinition, in full, is going to take time.
But, for now, at least I can say that I live with my husband, and that's a very, VERY good start!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Nesting
It's surprising, but all of my stuff seems to fit in here pretty well. We've donated a bunch of my stuff, as well as of D's stuff, to the United Way resale shop, but, for the most part, it's going okay. No gnashing of teeth.
This apartment is about 300 square feet smaller than my condo was, even though it's a 2 bedroom, and my condo was a 1 bedroom.
I had remembered the apartment as being larger, but it's not. As a result, the bedroom furniture DOES fit, but the pathways between the bed and the dresser, and the bed and the book case, are a bit narrow.
It's cozy, though, as D puts it...and he doesn't seem troubled by it.
Every day, we have worked on unpacking and sorting and placing. It's been utterly exhausting. I finally slept through the night last night for the first time.
Today, I drove us around for our errands, and we finally went and got a key made for me (silly boys, they don't think of things like that in advance!).
Today, our focus is on "eliminating the chaos" in our primary living space. Everything is unpacked and placed in those areas, so now we just have to clean and organize.
If the office is left a bit chaotic, that's OK. I need something to do until I get a job. This room will be my space for my business, and D has already put the furniture where it's going to go in here, so all I have to do is unpack the boxes that are piled in this room.
Thankfully, I have my computer set up and on line now, too, which makes me MUCH more comfortable.
This apartment is about 300 square feet smaller than my condo was, even though it's a 2 bedroom, and my condo was a 1 bedroom.
I had remembered the apartment as being larger, but it's not. As a result, the bedroom furniture DOES fit, but the pathways between the bed and the dresser, and the bed and the book case, are a bit narrow.
It's cozy, though, as D puts it...and he doesn't seem troubled by it.
Every day, we have worked on unpacking and sorting and placing. It's been utterly exhausting. I finally slept through the night last night for the first time.
Today, I drove us around for our errands, and we finally went and got a key made for me (silly boys, they don't think of things like that in advance!).
Today, our focus is on "eliminating the chaos" in our primary living space. Everything is unpacked and placed in those areas, so now we just have to clean and organize.
If the office is left a bit chaotic, that's OK. I need something to do until I get a job. This room will be my space for my business, and D has already put the furniture where it's going to go in here, so all I have to do is unpack the boxes that are piled in this room.
Thankfully, I have my computer set up and on line now, too, which makes me MUCH more comfortable.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Successful landing
After two days of absolutely grueling travel (getting lost around Peoria, IL, and having the settings wrong in the GPS unit, added 4 solid hours to Sunday's drive; and horrendous, blinding storms added about 2 hours to Monday's drive), we got to our home in OKC at about 8 pm on Monday.
We were on the road for a total of 22 mind numbing, body wrenching hours.
At least after the first 4 or 5 hours, we re-arranged the pets so that I no longer had to sit sideways in my seat with no where to put my feet.
The cab was VERY small for the 4 of us, because it's a van front end, with the engine dog house taking up most of the foot space for the passenger side! Having the bird down there eliminated my ability to sit comfortably.
However, we found that stacking the bird cage on top of the cat carrier, which was wedged into the middle seat, and keeping both of them covered most of the time, worked much better. That allowed me to sit in the seat like I was supposed to!
Jack the cat fussed and cried steadily for about the first two hours, then sporadically for the rest of Sunday.
Monday, he was much more calm.
Nichi, the 20 year old cockatiel, was FINE! That was a pleasant surprise!
Our stay in Missouri was traumatic for the cat, but it was good to stay with friends in their cabin in the woods. Jack was pretty well terrified the whole night, and kept me awake, and D's air mattress collapsed under him, but at least the lodging was free, and the folks were great.
Driving through rural Missouri on Monday was soooo pretty, but I missed most of eastern Oklahoma because of the storms. It was almost as dark as night, and the rain fell SO hard that we literally could not see the taillights ahead of us. The water on the pavement looked like a waterfall coming at us whenever we were going up an incline.
The lack of visibility reminded me of a white out snow storm, which, of course, they don't get around these parts!
The driving was very dangerous, so we had to slow down to a crawl, and hope that no one rear ended us. Even though we were creeping along, the wind was so powerful that D had to fight to keep the truck and trailer in our lane.
It was VERY stressful.
The trailer arrangement with the car on it worked out well, except when we pulled down the wrong lane in the dead of night in Missouri, unable to find our friends' house in the dark...then having to back the damned rig down a long, bendy single lane, surrounded by trees, in the pitch dark.
We called our friends, and he came out to help direct us out, and over to his property.
So, since we arrived here in OKC so late, and SO tired, we left everything loaded, ordered a pizza, and just rested last night. (D had planned on us arriving around 5:30, and having his son come with some friends to unload as soon as we got here. In a way, I am glad that didn't happen, since we were already exhausted.) D's son came and ate with us, and welcomed me in, which was nice of him.
Today, we are going to attack the truck...just me and D, until after his son gets out of work. Then, the boyo and his young, strong buddies can come over and get the last of it, and help D take the truck back.
More long days and hard work await...I have never been this exhausted IN MY LIFE.
But we're here, sweet home Oklahoma City!
We were on the road for a total of 22 mind numbing, body wrenching hours.
At least after the first 4 or 5 hours, we re-arranged the pets so that I no longer had to sit sideways in my seat with no where to put my feet.
The cab was VERY small for the 4 of us, because it's a van front end, with the engine dog house taking up most of the foot space for the passenger side! Having the bird down there eliminated my ability to sit comfortably.
However, we found that stacking the bird cage on top of the cat carrier, which was wedged into the middle seat, and keeping both of them covered most of the time, worked much better. That allowed me to sit in the seat like I was supposed to!
Jack the cat fussed and cried steadily for about the first two hours, then sporadically for the rest of Sunday.
Monday, he was much more calm.
Nichi, the 20 year old cockatiel, was FINE! That was a pleasant surprise!
Our stay in Missouri was traumatic for the cat, but it was good to stay with friends in their cabin in the woods. Jack was pretty well terrified the whole night, and kept me awake, and D's air mattress collapsed under him, but at least the lodging was free, and the folks were great.
Driving through rural Missouri on Monday was soooo pretty, but I missed most of eastern Oklahoma because of the storms. It was almost as dark as night, and the rain fell SO hard that we literally could not see the taillights ahead of us. The water on the pavement looked like a waterfall coming at us whenever we were going up an incline.
The lack of visibility reminded me of a white out snow storm, which, of course, they don't get around these parts!
The driving was very dangerous, so we had to slow down to a crawl, and hope that no one rear ended us. Even though we were creeping along, the wind was so powerful that D had to fight to keep the truck and trailer in our lane.
It was VERY stressful.
The trailer arrangement with the car on it worked out well, except when we pulled down the wrong lane in the dead of night in Missouri, unable to find our friends' house in the dark...then having to back the damned rig down a long, bendy single lane, surrounded by trees, in the pitch dark.
We called our friends, and he came out to help direct us out, and over to his property.
So, since we arrived here in OKC so late, and SO tired, we left everything loaded, ordered a pizza, and just rested last night. (D had planned on us arriving around 5:30, and having his son come with some friends to unload as soon as we got here. In a way, I am glad that didn't happen, since we were already exhausted.) D's son came and ate with us, and welcomed me in, which was nice of him.
Today, we are going to attack the truck...just me and D, until after his son gets out of work. Then, the boyo and his young, strong buddies can come over and get the last of it, and help D take the truck back.
More long days and hard work await...I have never been this exhausted IN MY LIFE.
But we're here, sweet home Oklahoma City!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tizzy
I have NO idea why this happened, but there was a near crisis yesterday.
I had gone to the vet with Jack, to get him his check up and shots, and travel meds. When I got home, I found an urgent message from the condo association person who interviewed my tenant.
I called her back, and she said "I think maybe there's something you don't know. Your tenant is having her grown SON live with her. She said his dad kicked him out, and he has to live with her. There's nothing in any of your paperwork about a second person, so I figured you didn't know."
Well, NO, I did NOT know!! I had given her permission to have her son visit, of COURSE (she can have anyone she wants to visit)...but he's 20 years old, and if he were to live with her here, there would have been two adult names on the lease, and a bigger security deposit!
If the condo lady was right, then my tenant had already broken the terms of her lease BEFORE EVEN MOVING IN!!
So, I got on the phone right away to my realtor. She went into action, said she would start with calling the condo lady first, to check to see if my tenant had been rejected. Then, she'd get in touch with the tenant. She said she'd have to get back to me later.
In the meantime, my sister arrived to help me do some final packing. We did that for a while, then we went out for lunch, then came home and worked some more.
By about 2, we had used up the roll of tape I'd purchased yesterday, so I walked over to K mart to get more.
Of course, that was when my realtor called back. SO, as soon as I got back, I returned her call, and she and I talked a bit.
First off, the condo association did NOT reject the tenant, but they DID feel I needed to know that the tenant was breaking the lease already, and that is between me and the tenant. They also felt that the adult child's name should be added to the paperwork.
Then, the realtor said that the tenant claims she NEVER said her son was going to live with her. The story is that all she did was ask for an extra parking sticker, because her son will visit a lot.
The tenant claims that the interviewer didn't LIKE her, so was trying to muck things up.
I am getting the impression that my tenant is a drama queen (having had PLENTY of experience with those at the job I just quit), and I seriously doubt that the interviewer didn't like her.
So, at this point, I had given up the fight. I said "If her son is going to be here, so be it....I CAN'T start over now!!"
I told my realtor, let's just leave things as they are, and take her word for it.
BUT let's make it clear to her what the ramifications of breaking the lease ARE, since she claims to have no idea what renting a property is all about. She needs to know the facts.
My realtor said she would call the tenant back, and explain to her that IF her son DOES move in, she will be in breach of contract, and subject to eviction.
HOWEVER, if she wants her son to live with her, we STILL HAVE TIME to re write the lease, so that it's all LEGAL, and the owner is willing to do this for an additional security deposit.
There was no call back to me, so I am assuming there will be no son moving in.
JUST the kind of stress I DID NOT NEED right now!!
I had gone to the vet with Jack, to get him his check up and shots, and travel meds. When I got home, I found an urgent message from the condo association person who interviewed my tenant.
I called her back, and she said "I think maybe there's something you don't know. Your tenant is having her grown SON live with her. She said his dad kicked him out, and he has to live with her. There's nothing in any of your paperwork about a second person, so I figured you didn't know."
Well, NO, I did NOT know!! I had given her permission to have her son visit, of COURSE (she can have anyone she wants to visit)...but he's 20 years old, and if he were to live with her here, there would have been two adult names on the lease, and a bigger security deposit!
If the condo lady was right, then my tenant had already broken the terms of her lease BEFORE EVEN MOVING IN!!
So, I got on the phone right away to my realtor. She went into action, said she would start with calling the condo lady first, to check to see if my tenant had been rejected. Then, she'd get in touch with the tenant. She said she'd have to get back to me later.
In the meantime, my sister arrived to help me do some final packing. We did that for a while, then we went out for lunch, then came home and worked some more.
By about 2, we had used up the roll of tape I'd purchased yesterday, so I walked over to K mart to get more.
Of course, that was when my realtor called back. SO, as soon as I got back, I returned her call, and she and I talked a bit.
First off, the condo association did NOT reject the tenant, but they DID feel I needed to know that the tenant was breaking the lease already, and that is between me and the tenant. They also felt that the adult child's name should be added to the paperwork.
Then, the realtor said that the tenant claims she NEVER said her son was going to live with her. The story is that all she did was ask for an extra parking sticker, because her son will visit a lot.
The tenant claims that the interviewer didn't LIKE her, so was trying to muck things up.
I am getting the impression that my tenant is a drama queen (having had PLENTY of experience with those at the job I just quit), and I seriously doubt that the interviewer didn't like her.
So, at this point, I had given up the fight. I said "If her son is going to be here, so be it....I CAN'T start over now!!"
I told my realtor, let's just leave things as they are, and take her word for it.
BUT let's make it clear to her what the ramifications of breaking the lease ARE, since she claims to have no idea what renting a property is all about. She needs to know the facts.
My realtor said she would call the tenant back, and explain to her that IF her son DOES move in, she will be in breach of contract, and subject to eviction.
HOWEVER, if she wants her son to live with her, we STILL HAVE TIME to re write the lease, so that it's all LEGAL, and the owner is willing to do this for an additional security deposit.
There was no call back to me, so I am assuming there will be no son moving in.
JUST the kind of stress I DID NOT NEED right now!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Whirlwind
It's only Tuesday, but I have gotten SOOO much done! I am SO glad I decided to give myself this week off!
I am still getting paid, too, which is a comfort. I am actually getting paid for 50 hours beyond what I worked last week.
I just hope that the office remembers to mail my check to me in OKC!!
I saw my gynecologist yesterday, then I made a string of phone calls, and met with three friends, for lunch, an afternoon visit (and a pad lock for the truck!), and then dinner, respectively.
Packed a bit, and took a little nap, in between visits.
Today, I met with another friend for breakfast, did some packing, and made some calls (Jack is scheduled to see a vet tomorrow, the electric is scheduled for shut off, but, ironically, I could not get through to the phone company).
Then, I did a long string of errands. Started at KMart (I was out of packing tape and aspirin), then the health store (I was out of enzyme and fish oil caps), the bank (deposited the coins that were in my change jar...almost $40!!), the dentist office (got my records ordered, and scheduled a cleaning for Thurs.), and, finally, the post office (got the forwarding order submitted).
Two more friends scheduled for this evening, one at a time. NO dinner out tonight, though, which is actually a good thing. I need to eat some of the food I have on hand!!
Tomorrow, Jack goes to the vet at 9:45am for his updated shots, and a discussion about travel sedatives. Fortunately, the office is also open in the afternoon for when he reacts to his shots, like he does every time, and I have to rush him back in.
This is one reason I do not take him annually for his shots. The other reason is that he lives in a top floor condo, and never has ANY contact with other cats, and a long lost friend of mine, who was a VERY good vet, also said that annual shots aren't REALLY necessary.
Anyway, Jack's situation will change in OKC. We will be on the ground floor, in a complex where feral cats roam. He will need to have his shots up to date. He could get out, gods forbid, or one of the ferals could come nose to nose with him in the window. Who knows what kind of diseases they carry??
Then, after Jack and I get home, my sister is coming over to do some final packing, and we are going to do lunch, and maybe a walk in the woods. GODS KNOW, I can use THAT!! (especially because there AREN'T ANY real, deep woods in my area of Oklahoma. Any that exist are all less than 100 years old, man made, and non-native!!).
Then, I have my final client in Chicagoland in the evening tomorrow.
Thursday, the dentist in the morning, and...and....I THINK I have the rest of Thursday OFF....until the evening, when I am having dinner with "massage mike."
Other than that, no outings with friends.....no pressure.....that will be very, very nice. I can do stuff like laundry, and maybe just have a quiet afternoon to myself to rest.
I am beyond exhausted.
I am still getting paid, too, which is a comfort. I am actually getting paid for 50 hours beyond what I worked last week.
I just hope that the office remembers to mail my check to me in OKC!!
I saw my gynecologist yesterday, then I made a string of phone calls, and met with three friends, for lunch, an afternoon visit (and a pad lock for the truck!), and then dinner, respectively.
Packed a bit, and took a little nap, in between visits.
Today, I met with another friend for breakfast, did some packing, and made some calls (Jack is scheduled to see a vet tomorrow, the electric is scheduled for shut off, but, ironically, I could not get through to the phone company).
Then, I did a long string of errands. Started at KMart (I was out of packing tape and aspirin), then the health store (I was out of enzyme and fish oil caps), the bank (deposited the coins that were in my change jar...almost $40!!), the dentist office (got my records ordered, and scheduled a cleaning for Thurs.), and, finally, the post office (got the forwarding order submitted).
Two more friends scheduled for this evening, one at a time. NO dinner out tonight, though, which is actually a good thing. I need to eat some of the food I have on hand!!
Tomorrow, Jack goes to the vet at 9:45am for his updated shots, and a discussion about travel sedatives. Fortunately, the office is also open in the afternoon for when he reacts to his shots, like he does every time, and I have to rush him back in.
This is one reason I do not take him annually for his shots. The other reason is that he lives in a top floor condo, and never has ANY contact with other cats, and a long lost friend of mine, who was a VERY good vet, also said that annual shots aren't REALLY necessary.
Anyway, Jack's situation will change in OKC. We will be on the ground floor, in a complex where feral cats roam. He will need to have his shots up to date. He could get out, gods forbid, or one of the ferals could come nose to nose with him in the window. Who knows what kind of diseases they carry??
Then, after Jack and I get home, my sister is coming over to do some final packing, and we are going to do lunch, and maybe a walk in the woods. GODS KNOW, I can use THAT!! (especially because there AREN'T ANY real, deep woods in my area of Oklahoma. Any that exist are all less than 100 years old, man made, and non-native!!).
Then, I have my final client in Chicagoland in the evening tomorrow.
Thursday, the dentist in the morning, and...and....I THINK I have the rest of Thursday OFF....until the evening, when I am having dinner with "massage mike."
Other than that, no outings with friends.....no pressure.....that will be very, very nice. I can do stuff like laundry, and maybe just have a quiet afternoon to myself to rest.
I am beyond exhausted.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
More good byes
F and M hosted a nice dinner tonight. F, P, and I have danced together for years, and they have been like sisters to me.
P's fiance was there, and F's parents, whom I have called "mom and dad" for many years. And my sister and brother in law came, too.
There was delicious food, and fun conversation.
But the good byes, for me and my dance sisters, were very, very difficult.
They leave for dance camp in a couple of days, and I SO wish I were going. But, it's not meant to be, and this way, they'll be out of town when I leave, so it might actually be easier for all three of us.
I am grateful that my good bye process has been able to happen in pieces. If I would have to have done this all at once, I would probably never recover.
P's fiance was there, and F's parents, whom I have called "mom and dad" for many years. And my sister and brother in law came, too.
There was delicious food, and fun conversation.
But the good byes, for me and my dance sisters, were very, very difficult.
They leave for dance camp in a couple of days, and I SO wish I were going. But, it's not meant to be, and this way, they'll be out of town when I leave, so it might actually be easier for all three of us.
I am grateful that my good bye process has been able to happen in pieces. If I would have to have done this all at once, I would probably never recover.
Going away party
me and the niece
(there's no family resemblance there at all!!!)
my t shirt reads "it's all about me...me! me! me!
some guests enjoying the party...there were many more people that came and went through the hours of the party, as it was an open house
me, between my seeester and brodder
caek!!! (nom nom nom!)
The going away party at J and R's house was last night. With their kitchen under construction, they hosted many friends and family members for a party that will be LONG remembered!!
There were many tears, and lots of hugs, and LOTS of laughter. It was great.
Thank you, J and R, for everything.
There were many tears, and lots of hugs, and LOTS of laughter. It was great.
Thank you, J and R, for everything.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Unemployed
My last day at work was yesterday. It went much better than I thought it would! I didn't burst into full-on tears until the very end!!
My co workers had a cake for me, and some cash. What got me crying was when K used the intercom system to sing "happy trails" to me! It was so cute, and so sweet of her, and I lost it!!
There's a going away party today that includes anyone from work that wants to come, other friends, and hopefully some family, too.
I didn't want a party, but my friend J talked me into it. So.....I am going to try to take it sort of easy for the first part of the day today.
I need to re-pack some stuff I had to unpack last night, but that will only take seconds.
I don't need to panic about anything today.
My co workers had a cake for me, and some cash. What got me crying was when K used the intercom system to sing "happy trails" to me! It was so cute, and so sweet of her, and I lost it!!
There's a going away party today that includes anyone from work that wants to come, other friends, and hopefully some family, too.
I didn't want a party, but my friend J talked me into it. So.....I am going to try to take it sort of easy for the first part of the day today.
I need to re-pack some stuff I had to unpack last night, but that will only take seconds.
I don't need to panic about anything today.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
It's official!
I'm a land lady!
The new tenant signed on the dotted line, and wrote me a check, which I had to turn around and pay half of out to my realtor.....but it's a done deal!
The new tenant signed on the dotted line, and wrote me a check, which I had to turn around and pay half of out to my realtor.....but it's a done deal!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Hard work on Labor day
Today, I cried some, but not as much as yesterday.
I did a couple of errands this morning, and got the smallest bird cage possible for a cockatiel to fit into.
It's going to be a very crowded truck cab for 2 days, I can tell you that!!
Brought the cage home, and got Nichi to go into it. He didn't seem overly uncomfortable, so that was good.
Then, I started packing. I went to my storage locker down the hall, and pulled out the rest of the boxes that have been stored in there for over a year.
Two of the boxes are really big wardrobe boxes, so I focused on my bedroom closet.
I got all of my costuming and dance wear packed, and most of my shoes and boots, and about half of my clothes, and all of my purses.
I'm a girl. I like purses and shoes.
Not as much as SOME girls do, but I DO have a few of each.
Then, I attacked the shelves.
I knew my friends F (of dance fame) and M were coming today to take away the armoire-type cabinet that I gave to them, so I also offered my dance camp bedding supplies to F as well.
I am moving during dance camp this year, so won't be able to go one last time.
Even if F doesn't use the bedding on her bunk, the girls can make up the other bunk in the room at dance camp in my Moroccan red sheets, and pretend that I'm just out of the room.
M also gladly took the sword that K left behind when he left, in a hissy, a few years ago. I needed to get that thing the hell out of here, too---one way or another!!
I hesitated to put it out on freecycle! "Offered: heavy, double handed sword left behind by ex room mate!"
SO, now that the cabinet, the camp bedding, and the sword are gone, and the bedroom walk in closet is 75% packed, I feel that I can rest for the remainder of the holiday.
It's almost 4 pm, and I am EXHAUSTED, but am considering going out for a walk. I have not gotten any good movement type of exercise since dancing on Saturday.
The fresh air would also do me good.
I did a couple of errands this morning, and got the smallest bird cage possible for a cockatiel to fit into.
It's going to be a very crowded truck cab for 2 days, I can tell you that!!
Brought the cage home, and got Nichi to go into it. He didn't seem overly uncomfortable, so that was good.
Then, I started packing. I went to my storage locker down the hall, and pulled out the rest of the boxes that have been stored in there for over a year.
Two of the boxes are really big wardrobe boxes, so I focused on my bedroom closet.
I got all of my costuming and dance wear packed, and most of my shoes and boots, and about half of my clothes, and all of my purses.
I'm a girl. I like purses and shoes.
Not as much as SOME girls do, but I DO have a few of each.
Then, I attacked the shelves.
I knew my friends F (of dance fame) and M were coming today to take away the armoire-type cabinet that I gave to them, so I also offered my dance camp bedding supplies to F as well.
I am moving during dance camp this year, so won't be able to go one last time.
Even if F doesn't use the bedding on her bunk, the girls can make up the other bunk in the room at dance camp in my Moroccan red sheets, and pretend that I'm just out of the room.
M also gladly took the sword that K left behind when he left, in a hissy, a few years ago. I needed to get that thing the hell out of here, too---one way or another!!
I hesitated to put it out on freecycle! "Offered: heavy, double handed sword left behind by ex room mate!"
SO, now that the cabinet, the camp bedding, and the sword are gone, and the bedroom walk in closet is 75% packed, I feel that I can rest for the remainder of the holiday.
It's almost 4 pm, and I am EXHAUSTED, but am considering going out for a walk. I have not gotten any good movement type of exercise since dancing on Saturday.
The fresh air would also do me good.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Fully grieving
It's been a very tearful day today.
I said good bye to the dance community in my area last night.
I said good bye to dancing with my long time troupe (since 1996), and my dear, dear friends.
No more power struggles, but no more hours of uncontrolled laughter during rehearsals, no more creative expression with these two brilliant artists, no more "chat breaks" to talk about the things in our lives that really matter. No more triumphant, fulfilling performances.
I said good bye to dance, basically, until I can get my foot in the door in the dance community in a strange town, where I'm going to be the new kid.
As I packed my "work out clothes," and my dance bag into a box, I sobbed inconsolably.
Today, I am fully grieving that loss.
Then, I said good bye to my friend J from Michigan this morning.
Since she moved to Michigan several years ago, we've ended every visit having to say good bye not knowing when we would meet again. Usually, we've been able to get together at least a couple of times a year, though.
But this time, it's different.
As she put it, this time, we are not going to be a mere 4 hour drive away from one another anymore.
In a couple of weeks, that 4 hour separation becomes something like 20 hours by car.
So the likelihood of our seeing one another again, any time soon, is very small.
We hugged and wept, and gazed into each others' eyes before we parted. Then I came inside, alone, after her being here for 2 days, and sobbed inconsolably.
Today, I am fully grieving that loss.
I have a lot more good byes to say in the next couple of weeks. My emotions are already very raw, and close to the surface.
My eyes are just going to be red, and my face puffy, for a while.
Better out than in, though, so I suppose this weeping is healthy.
I said good bye to the dance community in my area last night.
I said good bye to dancing with my long time troupe (since 1996), and my dear, dear friends.
No more power struggles, but no more hours of uncontrolled laughter during rehearsals, no more creative expression with these two brilliant artists, no more "chat breaks" to talk about the things in our lives that really matter. No more triumphant, fulfilling performances.
I said good bye to dance, basically, until I can get my foot in the door in the dance community in a strange town, where I'm going to be the new kid.
As I packed my "work out clothes," and my dance bag into a box, I sobbed inconsolably.
Today, I am fully grieving that loss.
Then, I said good bye to my friend J from Michigan this morning.
Since she moved to Michigan several years ago, we've ended every visit having to say good bye not knowing when we would meet again. Usually, we've been able to get together at least a couple of times a year, though.
But this time, it's different.
As she put it, this time, we are not going to be a mere 4 hour drive away from one another anymore.
In a couple of weeks, that 4 hour separation becomes something like 20 hours by car.
So the likelihood of our seeing one another again, any time soon, is very small.
We hugged and wept, and gazed into each others' eyes before we parted. Then I came inside, alone, after her being here for 2 days, and sobbed inconsolably.
Today, I am fully grieving that loss.
I have a lot more good byes to say in the next couple of weeks. My emotions are already very raw, and close to the surface.
My eyes are just going to be red, and my face puffy, for a while.
Better out than in, though, so I suppose this weeping is healthy.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Hope at last
My realtor called this morning. The 3rd person who looked at the condo the other day looks like a winner.
Her credit score is pretty good (as good as mine, in fact), and she's never been late on a payment to anyone for anything.
So we offered her the lease, and she accepted, verbally.
Tuesday, they (the realtor and the tenant) will come here to go over all of the paperwork, and sign the lease!
With a tenant in place before I move, I no longer have to take the first job offer I get, and, better yet, I no longer have to feel pressured to take a medical billing job.
I hate medical billing!
I can take a little time to get settled, before I absolutely HAVE to start working.
Here's hoping she shows up Tuesday!!!
Her credit score is pretty good (as good as mine, in fact), and she's never been late on a payment to anyone for anything.
So we offered her the lease, and she accepted, verbally.
Tuesday, they (the realtor and the tenant) will come here to go over all of the paperwork, and sign the lease!
With a tenant in place before I move, I no longer have to take the first job offer I get, and, better yet, I no longer have to feel pressured to take a medical billing job.
I hate medical billing!
I can take a little time to get settled, before I absolutely HAVE to start working.
Here's hoping she shows up Tuesday!!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Ok then!
So, my new realtor placed my property back on the market 2 days ago. It's up for rent and for sale.
Today, my condo was shown THREE TIMES. THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY! That's NEVER happened before!
The third person to walk through came while I was here, and she LOVES this place.
She lived in this complex a number of years ago, and wants back in.
She is interested in renting right now, but in a future purchase, after her divorce is final.
Which means she will not TRASH the place while she lives here as a tenant!
We may have a winner! Background and credit checks happen tomorrow. As my realtor put it, we may be done already!
Please, please pray, burn incense, make offerings, light candles, do whatever you do that this works out.
My ONE BIGGEST WORRY is having to move away from here, with no job in place, and no way to pay my mortgage!!
Having someone sign on the dotted line, and give me rent money every month, will solve that problem!!
Maybe, finally one thing IS GOING TO GO MY WAY!!
Today, my condo was shown THREE TIMES. THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY! That's NEVER happened before!
The third person to walk through came while I was here, and she LOVES this place.
She lived in this complex a number of years ago, and wants back in.
She is interested in renting right now, but in a future purchase, after her divorce is final.
Which means she will not TRASH the place while she lives here as a tenant!
We may have a winner! Background and credit checks happen tomorrow. As my realtor put it, we may be done already!
Please, please pray, burn incense, make offerings, light candles, do whatever you do that this works out.
My ONE BIGGEST WORRY is having to move away from here, with no job in place, and no way to pay my mortgage!!
Having someone sign on the dotted line, and give me rent money every month, will solve that problem!!
Maybe, finally one thing IS GOING TO GO MY WAY!!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
COME ON!!!
Monday, I talked to the HR person from that company, and he said they're not hiring, but they want to meet me anyway...so I still have the interview scheduled.
But don't feel as hopeful about it as I did before.
Neither of the other contacts I have made so far (2 over the past 2 days) are interested in meeting me.
Then, last night, the lady who wanted all of my furniture called and backed out of the deal. At least she told me, instead of just not showing up on loading day.
I have been disappointed and let down SO many times, in so many ways, over the past year, that this hardly even phases me.
It's just another layer of stress to add to my already frenzied stress level.
But don't feel as hopeful about it as I did before.
Neither of the other contacts I have made so far (2 over the past 2 days) are interested in meeting me.
Then, last night, the lady who wanted all of my furniture called and backed out of the deal. At least she told me, instead of just not showing up on loading day.
I have been disappointed and let down SO many times, in so many ways, over the past year, that this hardly even phases me.
It's just another layer of stress to add to my already frenzied stress level.
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