Slow news week

 There really isn't much to blog about this week.

We worked, we ate, we slept... We took our sunrise walks, and our 9:30 am walks during my break, and I napped during my 2:30 pm afternoon breaks.  

There was no drama, no stress, no excitement.

Dave had the first televisit with a doctor that either of us has had.  That was kind of cool, and it went well.

There's no news yet from Pop's place about how the auction of his things went, or when we need to go clear the rest out.  Dave will probably call tomorrow to check.

It was 104 degrees on Friday, with a heat index of 110, and I got one of my heat migraines.  (Those bizarre headaches that I get during extreme heat, even though I do not set foot outside).  The halo in my vision made work a bit challenging, but I got through it, and the migraine was gone by bed time.

It was supposed to be over 100 degrees again yesterday, but something shifted, and we only had temps in the mid to upper 80s!  That was a relief!  

There was a little rain last night.

There are no more baby cucumbers on my vines, so a harvest of four cucumbers over the season is going to probably be my total.  One vine is clearly at the end of its life, while the other still appears to be happy and healthy, but not productive.

The cherry tomato plant is COVERED with green tomatoes, so I still have hope of an eventual bounty from that plant, despite it being all spindly.

I cut one of the tiny watermelons yesterday. None of them ever got any bigger than a handball.  It was all seeds inside.  So frustrating.

One of my container gardening friends said that the size of the pot should have been adequate...so who knows?

It was a pretty plant.  I can just enjoy that part, I guess.

This coming week will likely be pretty much the same... work, sleep, work, sleep.... but the week after that is the week of Labor Day, and we are on vacation that week.

We're hoping to get back to one of the parks we've visited recently, mid week, to hopefully be able to enjoy it without the crowds.

Today, I have an online meeting with the other students in my program.  They are all in the UK, so it will be evening for them, but mid afternoon for me.  I am very excited about "meeting" them.

Looks like we might get more rain over the next few days.  Dave mowed the back yard on Thursday evening, and the front yesterday, so we are all good on that front.

We might try to get our guitars dusted off today, and try to play a little.  It's been weeks!  

We were doing really well there for a while... Dave was learning some chords!  But then, something happened in the world to upset us again, and we just ... stopped.

Dave will have to start over, but that will be fine.  

Wishing you all a good week. May it be peaceful and stress free!

Closure

Pop was laid to rest on Thursday morning.

There was no wake, and no indoor gathering at a funeral home.  We just met at the cemetery, and had the service outside.

I was able to take three days of bereavement leave, Wednesday through Friday, to be with Dave, and to help out in any way that I could.

On Monday,we had a previously scheduled vacation day.   We stopped and bought a shirt and tie, and took Pop's suit to the funeral home, which we had been storing here for this occasion.

We also made sure that there would be flowers.  

Thank goodness we did, as it turned out.  It would have been pretty sad without them, as there was only one other arrangement sent from Pop's family back in Virginia.

Dave also asked them about a flag on the coffin, and an honor guard for the burial. 

As it turned out, when Mom made all of the arrangements back in 2011, the military honor ceremony was part of it.

I was very happy to be the one to prompt Dave to ask these questions (the flowers and the honor guard), as they were things no one else had thought about.

At one point Mike had refused the honor guard, and never told us why....Fortunately, he didn't have a say after all!

As anticipated, not many people came.  Aside from we six, there were three others present.

It was a beautiful morning, with low humidity, and moderate temperatures, and it was nice and sunny.  Everyone distanced and wore masks, except the few of us who were seated under the tent out of the sun. 

Someone sat right next to me, but we both kept our masks on, despite our tears.

There was supposed to be a family dinner that night, but the brothers backed out of it, so I suggested we gather for breakfast on Friday.  

My family's culture is vastly different from the Bowens.  I could not imagine that these men would only see each other at the cemetery, and then go their separate ways, without another word in person, after burying their FATHER.

Thankfully, that idea was met with acceptance, so we gathered at the courtyard of Larry's hotel at 8am on Friday morning, and Mike and his wife brought carry out breakfast from Cracker Barrel.

Once again, we had perfect weather for our picnic, and we bade one another farewell by 9 am.  It was better than nothing.

After saying good bye, Dave and I headed down to the Arbuckle Mountains area of Oklahoma in hopes of finding some peace in nature.

We went to the Chickasaw National Recreation Area, and were there by a little after10 am.  

We had hoped that it would not be crowded, being a week day, and being early in the day, but we were wrong.

Be that as it may, we found that the hiking trails were easy, and that the woods and waters were beautiful.  

We hiked a little over two miles, and were able to spend a lot of time away from people, but were confronted a few times by big groups of hikers, mostly kids, who wore no masks at all.

Sigh.

It was getting a little hot by the time we got back to the car, and it was humid from all of the trees and water, but, all in all, it was perfect.

It was such a pretty place.... and as we were leaving, two deer, and their spotted fawns, came out of the forest to check us out.  THAT was pretty cool.  

I can't wait for out next opportunity to go back down there.

There's also another park down there, right near where we were, called Turner Falls.  I have wanted to visit there for years.  Maybe next time, we will go there.

Back on our vacation day,  before we went to the funeral home with the clothes and questions, we had gone out to the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge.

Unfortunately, that day, it was too hot to get out of the car, but we drove through the desolate landscape, and saw one lone buffalo.  

The refuge is home to herds of buffalo, wild long horn cattle (not sure how they became wild), and elk, and also has a prairie dog town, and lots of other flora and fauna.   

The vast majority of the acreage is desolate, though.... look up pictures on line, and you will see what I mean.  

We've done well lately, with making the road trips it takes to get out in nature.  Unfortunately, there is not really anything close to town, and the one nature preserve here in town is always inundated with people..

Our moderate weather is continuing.  We really have been fortunate this summer.

One of my cucumber vines is "done," and the other one is still healthy and making flowers, but it has no more fruit on it at the moment.  

The yellow cherry tomatoes are prolific, but they aren't growing or ripening, despite fertilizing them, and being sure to water every evening.  The plant is all leggy and spindly now.

I think I got a lot more out of my plants than I would have if we had been subjected to a "normal Oklahoma summer."

Dave's task for the coming week is to check in with the memory care center.  

They were to have an auction of Pop's belongings (TV, furniture), proceeds to go to the Alzheimer's Foundation, and we are to get what's left out of the room (HOPEFULLY just clothing, bed linens, nick knacks), before they charge the estate for another month.

If there is more left over than we can handle, we should be able to contact a charity to come pick stuff up.

One last step to full closure.

On that note, I am off to start my day.  Breakfast, then maybe cleaning out a closet.... Dave will mow the back yard again.  

Back to the workday grind tomorrow, after only working one day last week. Ugh. 

Good bye, Pop

 Dave's dad had a massive stoke early last week. 

His left side was paralyzed by it, his face was contorted, his left eye could no longer open, and he lost his ability to speak and swallow.

His advance directive stated no heroic measures, so hospice care was brought in, and he was kept comfortable in his room at the memory care center.  

They lifted their restrictions for visiting, and Dave went the next day to visit him.  

Pop was was awake, and tried to smile and speak when Dave showed him a picture of himself as a young man.

Dave got to look in his remaining good eye and tell him he loved him,

Dave's eldest brother set up a "face time" call, and the nurse held the phone so Pop could see Mike, on that same day.

The middle brother didn't call, and didn't come down from Kansas until yesterday, and by then, Pop was no longer conscious.

Pop passed away a few hours after Larry visited. Pop was 89.

Mike is coming up from Galveston to do his executor duties.  He will be sleeping on our couch, since the guest room is my office now.

Given that sad news, I don't really have that much else to say this week.

Dog days are here again

 As Sirius rises in the sky, the hot weather is returning.

We've been so fortunate to have had a mild summer, for the most part. But, alas, we are back to the "normal" insufferable heat.

There's still a chance for rain in a few days, though, which will be good.

We've ordered an air purifier for the bedroom.  We both are just constantly congested, and are hoping that the filter will help with that.  We know this house is really dusty, being 93 years old.  Plus, it's now ragweed season, and the wind never stops.  Then there's pet dander, and mold....so if it seems to help, we'll get a second one to put somewhere else in the house.

There's really not much to say this week.  I got my office cleaned up last weekend, as planned, and it felt good to not be looking at clutter as I worked.

Our closing for the re-financing of our mortgage is FINALLY SCHEDULED.  We'll do it in the driveway, under the car port, in the 97 degree heat, next Thursday evening.

Friends advised strongly that we NOT let a stranger into our house, to sit at our table, so we borrowed a card table, and got face shields, and will mask up and do it outside.

We are both SO relieved that this process is finally almost at an end.

From the beginning of April to the middle of August.  18 weeks. Yikes.  Did I tell you we had to submit the same paperwork three times because the process was taking so long that it "expired?"  Yeah.

Dave hasn't had a full blown anxiety attack in a long time, but this process brought him to that point a couple of weeks ago.

Tomorrow, I go for my now-monthly blood draw, and will go to the clinic on Tuesday.  

I have to get my port flushed this time, and dread it because the last two times have been awful.  It doesn't help that Dave can't hold my hand anymore, either  (no visitors allowed in the building, so I have to go alone).

I hope that the nurse who is GOOD at port access will be there this time.  She was working at the other office the last two times, so I was stuck with the one who just can't do it well.  

The one who I had the last two times burned me with the numbing spray, and then had to try three times to find the port the first time, and then the second time, she missed entirely, and it hurt like hell.

UGH.  I hate having it accessed BECAUSE of "skills" like hers.

So I am having anxiety, too.

Next weekend, Dave and I hope to get the telescope set up again and do a little sky gazing.  He spent so much money on that thing, and it's been gathering dust.  

This is NOT ACCEPTABLE!

I wish we had somewhere we could go in the middle of the night, in the middle of the week, to see some of the Perseids meteor shower.  It's been years...decades, even.... My dad and I would lie out in the back yard, or on the sun deck, and listen to the katy dids, and watch for "shooting stars."

It's one of my most precious memories.

We are going to go take a drive today.  I need to get out of the house and neighborhood.  There are a couple of parks we want to see if we can find, to see if there is anyplace at all in the Metro area that is a nice, natural escape we can go to without having to drive at least an hour, and that isn't filled with people.

I hate that about OKC.

We drove an hour and a half last weekend to go to a state park.  It was really pretty, but it was PACKED with people, and we were literally the only ones wearing masks.  We didn't stay long.

We did find a few secluded spots to explore, but came across people almost at every turn getting to those spots.

It's time for breakfast.  Have a good week!

New path

I did a thing.

There has been a longing in me for several years to try to regain some kind of regular spiritual practice.

Back home, I was what I referred to as "heart mother" of a Circle which gathered eight times a year to celebrate the neo-Pagan holy days.  Some people called me a Priestess.  

I wrote poetry, and created group rituals, and set up a different altar arrangement, and had LIKE-SPIRITED FRIENDS IN MY HOME EVERY 6 WEEKS.  

It was beautiful.  Some of my ritual prose was really GOOD writing! (thankfully, I have paper copies of every ritual I ever wrote, given the passage of many years, and the changing of technology, there is no electronic copy of any of the older ones from the 90s).

My practice of Core Shamanism (look it up, if you are curious) was also far more active, and I journeyed for friends quite frequently.

In addition to that, I was still working as a hands-on healer in my side business as a Massage Therapist and Reiki Master.  I also advised clients on nutrition and use of herbal medicines.

When I moved, I lost all of that.  I was never really able to get established as a Massage Therapist down here, and then .. well.. cancer.

And, of course, all of my friends and family were back home.

Since moving here, I have met a few fellow Pagans, and have made some new friends in that realm, but we haven't done any type of celebrations together, and, even though one young woman considers me to be her High Priestess, I still don't have a Circle, and rarely, if ever, do I conduct ceremonies or rituals just for me.

The biggest deal has been that I did a Pagan wedding for that same young woman and her partner a little over a year ago.

Of course, now, there are not group rituals, thanks to the virus.

Anyway...the thing that I did....

I committed to taking a year long course in the study of a particular Goddess.  

This course is based in the UK, but, through the wonders of modern technology, that doesn't matter.  The only thing that might be a VERY minor complication is if we ever do any live stream / Zoom stuff, and I am in the middle of my work day while it happens.

Dedicating myself to this course will force me to observe the cycle of holy days, and to conduct ritual again, just for me, and to seek and meditate.  

I am very excited about this, and look forward to the next observance, having started with my first holy day this weekend.

Dave drove us out to a state park so that I could find a secluded spot in the woods to begin.  It was beautiful, and very encouraging for me to do this for myself.

This course combines so many elements of what has been missing for me since I moved that I just know, in my heart, that it will be VERY good for me.

In other news, we are experiencing a miraculous weather pattern!  We've been SO FORTUNATE this summer, and the last round of rain has not only continued to keep us out of drought conditions, but has broken the back of another heat wave.

It's AUGUST, and we are seeing upper 60s at night, and 80s during the day!  IN OKLAHOMA!!  Normally, this time of year is brutally hot.  I am loving this!!

Open windows in AUGUST!  SQUEE!

Our mortgage re-financing is ALMOST ready to close.  It has taken every bit of 4 months, and we are closing a month later than they said we would.

We were advised to NOT pay our mortgage tomorrow, pending the closing and the new, $200 a month LOWER payment, so maybe we will close this week some time.

Unfortunately, our state tax audit didn't end well.  We had to pay over $600 for income that wasn't there, and we couldn't get TurboTax to help us, and the guy Dave talked to at the state indicated that we were screwed, so we just threw up our hands and paid it.

The guy said there should have been a number on such and such a line for "loss or gain for business," and that number wasn't there, so we have to pay. 

??

My rental property is not a business, so we don't file a schedule C, we file a schedule E, and it shows $0 income, because there is always a deficit.  The rent I collect doesn't cover the cost of ownership, and I don't want to rent increase myself into NOT having a tenant.

It's not a LARGE deficit, but it is a deficit, none the less.  I don't want to make a profit on the property, I just don't want to have to go into foreclosure, or have to file bankruptcy because of it!

I was going to consider selling it, because it's finally worth more than I owe on it, but now, there is no market, so I am once again unable to unload it.

Next time we file taxes, we are going to pay the big bucks to go to an accountant, and get it done right.

Both Dave and I are still working from home, and in the past week, we have both heard from our employers that the work from home order will continue until after the first of the year.  His stated it definitely, and mine hinted at it strongly, with the big boss saying "we won't be going back to the office any time soon," and the next day, my manager saying "I'm guessing after the first of the year."  

In the meantime, my company will be moving to a new building some time over the winter.  THAT ought to be interesting.  (the new location SUCKS, by the way... Dave and I may have to buy a second car, because I will have a 45 minute commute instead of a 10 minute commute, and he will still have a 10 minute commute. There will be no possibility for ride sharing anymore)

Anyway, the work from home order is extended because Oklahoma is finally in the first wave of the virus, and our numbers are getting higher and higher on average.

People do not comply, they don't WANT to understand that it isn't JUST about them, because that's "how Okies do."  Willful ignorance is a character trait.

Including my step son and his fiance.  So yeah, we are estranged again.

Ugh.

Dave is going to mow today, since we were gone for the first part of the day yesterday.  

I got most of my household chores done yesterday, but still have some laundry to do.  I want to clean up the clutter in my office area.  

I've been plopping paid bills on the area where my office phone sits, and there's a table in there that's a sort of "catch all," that has "caught" too much stuff, HAHA!

I will then be able to set up an altar area for my new studies, and not have a messy pile of paid bills to look at all day while I work.

Maybe I will get outside and clean out the unwanted presences in my herb garden.  Grass, and a virtually destroyed comfrey plant.  The grasshoppers have eaten so much of it, that it is dying.  It's useless now.

I'll probably pull out the second year parsley, too.  The caterpillars ate most of it, as I wanted them to do, and then they all got eaten by birds.  It's just a sad reminder to me that I am not seeing butterflies emerge. 

Happy August, and have a good week!