Time marches on...

 Other than the death of the eldest original member of the Grateful Dead this past week, there's not been much of note here at Dragons' Roost.

The passing of Phil Lesh hit me pretty hard, but I am coping, as any Deadicated music fan does.  

I mean... I never met the man, but I spent every available dollar, and every available hour, watching him and his "brothers" on stage, as part of the tie-dyed, gyrating, ecstatic crowd of Dead Heads, between 1978 and 1995.

Then, beyond the death of Jerry Garcia, into the years after.  Through the various iterations of the band, until 2015, when a tribe of friends and family all chipped in to send me and Dave to Chicago, to see what was to be the last time the surviving original members of the band played together.  
 

That was during my first year of chemotherapy, when I was bald, and undergoing the most dangerous phase of treatment.  The phase that kills many patients.

Being a part of the Dead Head community was a HUGE part of my life, and still is, in how I view the world, and is part of my spirit.

So, yeah.  It was tough news, and brought up ALL KINDS of emotions.

Time marches on.  

If we are lucky, it marches on, and Phil made it to 84, despite so many odds against him.  

Peaceful rest, "Uncle" Phil.... 

Anyway... the weather has been spectacular the past couple of days, and, though we will be seeing more unseasonable heat in the next few days, they are FINALLY calling for a good, soaking rain on the day before Halloween.

After a surprisingly wet spring and summer, we have not had a drop of rain since August (I think), and the grass is brown and crunchy.

I will finish putting up my Halloween decorations today, for the most part.  I have to work at the office on Halloween, but I will save an item or two for after I get home that day, especially if it's going to rain between now and then.

My brother (who is why I am a Deadhead) has his 72nd birthday this coming week, and my family is gathering at his house today for a little celebration.   I sent him a gift that I hope arrives while they are there, so that I can sort of be there, too.

Dave's first therapy appointment was a bust.  Apparently, the therapist brought up politics, and Dave ended the session at 15 minutes.

Have a good week, and Happy Halloween!

Back to the routine

 It was nice to just go back to the regular routine of my life, after the intense anxiety of the previous weeks.

My treatment went just fine, no difficulties, and my post-treatment night actually allowed time for sleeping between the multiple rounds of cold sweats.

It's been a nice weekend, so far, with beautiful weather. It was 46 degrees when I got up!

Unfortunately, we are in a state of drought, as it has not rained in many weeks.

Dave cleared the growth out of my fire pit, and I set it up yesterday, and roasted a butternut squash, an onion, and several cloves of garlic over a low fire.

Those will be blended into a bisque for our supper tonight!

Last night, we had slow cooked carnitas, and I made fajita style peppers and onions to go along with the luscious meat.  

We also made an apple crisp with a couple of huge honey crisp apples, and while it was baking, I roasted some beef bones for my next batch of stock.  

Dave helped get the carnitas cooking, and helped with the apple crisp!

It smelled SO GOOD in this house all day yesterday!

Today, Dave will do some additional clearing of the back yard, and is going to work on building a shelter for Sammie cat out of a thick styro-foam cooler that we found in the neighbor's trash pile a couple of months ago.

It's going to get hot again this week, but at least the shelter will be set up and ready for when the cold comes. 

We hope that she will use it, and not the resident possum.   Possums are very destructive and filthy, we have found.  They will shit where they sleep, and ruin the straw they're supposed to nest in.

We like having possums around, but they are not really welcome in our cat shelters.   

A friend sent us a "fancy" heated one a few years ago, when we were expecting an "arctic blast," and the damned possum completely destroyed it.  Ripped the fabric it was made of, and soaked it with possum pee.

We never saw our then- "yard cat" use it at all, just the possum.

In other news, Dave has been having a lot of "new" anxiety around retiring.

He went to his psychiatrist, and had a bit of an adjustment to his psych medication.  This is helping him to sleep better, so far.

The doctor also recommended that Dave go back into talk therapy, as well, and he has his first appointment with a new therapist this coming week.

I am very happy about that. 

Today, I will be doing a bit more relaxing!  

In addition to my "production kitchen" activities yesterday, I also did all of the laundry, and my usual chores, AND washed my body pillow, because it needed doing after those cold sweats after chemo.

I'll be putting the pillow back outside in the sunshine and fresh air today, because I love how that makes it smell.

We got our jack-o-lantern pumpkins at Aldi one day last week, and I might put out a little more of my Halloween decorations today.  We'll see.

Have a great week!

Sweet relief

 I haven't read the reports yet, but there is no cancer in my brain.

The only thing the PA said on Thursday was that the MRI found normal, age-related changes, and nothing else.

SO... I will read both the PET and the MRI reports SOME DAY, but I am in no hurry, as I recover from the most intense anxiety/fear I have felt in years.

My regular treatment program will continue, with my next treatment next Thursday.  Next regular testing (cardiac ultrasound, and chest CT) will be in December.

I continue to take HUGE, heaving sighs of relief.... it has been 4 days, but I still feel myself decompressing.

I still couldn't sleep on Thursday night, but have done SO much better the past two nights.  Vodka, and watching funny movies, have both helped, HAHA!

The weather has still been record-threateningly hot.  Yesterday, it was 95 when I was trying to start putting out some of my Halloween decor.

Needless to say, I didn't get much done.

Today should be more comfortable, though, and there's a nice breeze, so I will continue today.

We haven't even bought mums or pumpkins yet, because it's been so hot.  It's quite sad, and probably the "new normal," due to climate change.

We got our mail-in ballots sent off last week, and I have scheduled our "Crane Spotting" weekend for the weekend after the election.   

Hopefully, we will be celebrating that weekend, and not trying to figure out how to leave the country.

I worry about Dave, especially, because in 2016, he really came close to having a full-on break down. 

Fortunately, he has recently had an adjustment to his psych meds, and has been prescribed to go back to talk therapy.

The timing on that is fortuitous, indeed!

He is going to start making calls tomorrow, to try to find a therapist and get scheduled.  His former therapist relocated, and he never sought out a new one, so it needs to happen.

Got all of my chores done yesterday, and made a grilled steak and potatoes dinner.  I could not eat more than a couple of bites of the steak, it was really weird.  It was delicious, but I just ... didn't want it.

Maybe lingering anxiety caused that.... I can't eat when I am anxious.

Anyway, today should be relatively lazy, unless I decide to follow through on emptying the hot tub, cleaning it, and refilling it.   The water is still okay, though, so I may let that go until next weekend, when it will DEFINITELY be cooler out.

I am making chicken marsala for dinner, and have already put a load of towels in to wash.  

Dave did a special chore for me yesterday, and has been assigned another one today, and he actually got up and DID the one yesterday, instead of it taking weeks!

Hopefully, there will be a repeat of that today.

Have a lovely week!

Cycles of fear

 My PET scan was last week, and, though it was physically uncomfortable to hold my arms above my head inside of a tube for 25 minutes, the experience itself went just fine.

Unfortunately, they called me that afternoon with some scary news.  The usual spots all looked good, they said, but there was some kind of  abnormal reflection (I think that was the word) in the brain that needs another look.

SO, I have to go for an MRI tomorrow afternoon.

They TRIED to get me scheduled for Wednesday, but that was our day to leave for the tiny house in the woods, and they could not get me in early enough in the day for it to work out, and it was too late to cancel.

Nothing else was available until Monday.

Anyway, I fucking HATE MRIs, and I said so.... As a result, this time, I have a valium to take before hand.

The person who scheduled me also said that the imaging center that they are sending me to has a "large bore" MRI machine, so it doesn't feel as constricted as most machines do.

That was the good thing about having to delay the appointment until Monday.  They are sending me to a different facility, with a bigger machine.

I hope that will help.  I always take a bandana to drape over my eyes, too, so I can't see how close the inside of the tube is to my face.

The fact of the matter, though, is, while the claustrophobia is a definite factor, it's the noise that really gets to me, and brings me almost to the point of panic.

The little ear plugs they give you only dampen the sound to protect your hearing.... there's no way to block it out.  Ugh.

I am maintaining okay, though.... Going through cycles of abject fear, and then letting it go, and focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.

Anyway, our week off has been really nice.  

Our stay at the tiny house was lovely, but the weather was too hot to use the outdoor hot tub, or to spend much time by the fire pit.

I DID get to have a little fire, though, which did me good.

After we left there, we went about 45 minutes further south to the Chickasaw National Recreational area, and took a nice hike, but again, it was too hot out, so we didn't stay long.

I managed to accomplish the goal of  collecting some spring water to bring home for my spiritual practice.

We ate at a couple of mom-and-pop diners along the way, both days, which was fun.

Other than that, we got errands done on weekdays, and I did a little extra cleaning around the house.

Dave did a task outside that I had been asking him to do, and hopefully, today, he will get a few more things done.

It's just been nice to have the time to .... just live life... for a week.

Yesterday, I made a pot of stock to freeze, a batch of lemon scones, and grilled chicken and slaw for dinner.

Next week, other than the MRI tomorrow, I have an appointment on Thursday morning with the PA.  I hope they can get back to putting my PA/Dr visit on the same day as my treatments, eventually.

Since I have to make an appearance at the office, I will go for a half day tomorrow.

SO much for just relaxing and living life, HAHA!

Have a good week!