Easy Peasy

 I was desperately afraid of every aspect of the bone biopsy, but it turned out to be virtually painless in every way.

(below is an edited cross post from the book of faces, so I don't have to type it all out again)

I talked with a friend yesterday, and it helped me to realize that I am still recovering from the stress of the bone biopsy. I may be for a while, and I had not thought about it that way until she and I spoke. It could take a while, and that's OKAY!

It's really surprising to me that no one thought to tell me things that I would not have known to ask about....

Like, what kind of sedation are you talking about? NO ONE ever told me that they were just going to do conscious sedation, with fentanyl, until the very last minute, so I had no idea what to expect, and was afraid of being "put under" and waking up with extreme nausea.

I told the admitting nurse this, and she made no comment.

Then, for all I knew, based on my dad's bone biopsy 30 years ago, they were going to cut me open and take divots out of my pelvis the circumference of a pencil.

The friend who offered to bring us food, and do chores if needed, had told me that her friend had a bone biopsy that was HORRIBLY painful, and that she was "down for the count" for days.

YIKES! She reiterated it a couple of times, unintentionally making my fear deepen beyond reckoning.

The pre-op nurse came in, and took all of my vitals, and then took them again - because my heart rate was so high. I told her that I was utterly terrified because I had no idea what to expect, other than what I knew from my dad in the 90s. I also told her about my fear of waking up from anesthesia.

She made no other comment.

When I expressed my surprise that they would not order antibiotics or pain meds, no one said THEY WOULD NOT BE NECESSARY because the procedure is considered minimally invasive, and safe.

SO...when the doctor came into my pre-op room (all of this, while Dave was out of the room getting lunch), to get my consent and explain the procedure, he said they would be using a "pretty big" needle, and a drill.... so, yeah, that made me even more scared.

I pictured the huge bore needle they used to do the core biopsies on my right breast, which was akin to medieval torture, with no pain relief and no sedation.... gushing blood until noon the next day....and the bruises remained on my breast until it was removed, months later!~

All I could see in my mind was 1/8 inch holes in my pelvis, like they left in my breast.

(Aside: My left breast biopsy physician, at the same facility, was MUCH more compassionate, male, and saw to it that I was as comfortable as possible.... a complete change from the physician, named PAULA, who brutalized my right breast).

So, the doctor who would be doing the procedure on Monday didn't say that the needle and drill are actually REALLY SMALL. He was very young, and probably didn't realize that needles used in years past, even just a few years past, were MUCH BIGGER....

He didn't mention that the puncture wounds would actually be quite tiny, and would close up quickly. To him, the needle he would be using was BIG.

Sigh.....

Then, the third nurse (the one who would be prepping me for the procedure) asked me, as I was being put on the table, "have you ever had a bone biopsy before?" I answered "no," and all she said was "okay." Like...duh???

She ALSO KNEW that I was in a state of near panic with fear, because I had told her, but she said nothing to assure me that it would really be very easy to go through, and that I would not feel a thing beyond the lidocaine numbing medication being injected into my hip.

She DID tell me that she would arrange for anti nausea medications for afterward, if I needed them, but did not tell me that they were doing conscious sedation, and that I would just feel relaxed, and not go to sleep, until they were prepping me for the procedure.

NO ONE TOLD ME that it would all be relatively easy to endure, and easy to heal from, so I was completely freaked out until the fentanyl took effect. (And, I have to say, wow, that felt really good...)

Anyway.....

When the fourth nurse was getting me ready for discharge, all she told us was to leave the bandage on for a day, and that I could shower after removing it, and to not lift anything heavy. No other instructions were given. She said I would need to request those from the ordering physician!

So, I rested the remainder of Monday, and first thing on Tuesday, I messaged my oncologist's office, to request recovery guidelines, and on WEDNESDAY, I got a response.

THAT was when I learned everything I really needed to know ahead of time.... that the procedure was safe, and minimally invasive, and that the recovery would be easy, with little pain and little chance of infection, and that I could return to normal acvitity in 72 hours, including being able to take a bath or soak in a hot tub.

UGH!

All that being said, my conversation with my friend also confirmed, for me, that it takes a long time to recover from that degree of intense stress, and that it's okay to still be tired, and sore (from having to lie face down, and hold my arms over my head- "like superman flying"- for 90 minutes.)...yeah, it was a few days ago, but my neck and shoulders still freaking hurt!

The chat was good for both of us, I think, as we both went through intense "stuff" this past week from which we are still healing.

My appointment to see my oncologist isn't until the 21st. The samples were sent to an external lab to identify specific mutations in the current form of cancer that has resisted my current chemo.

Those results will then be reviewed by the research team at OU, and they will determine next steps. In the meantime, I am to keep taking the current oral chemo, even though it doesn't seem to be working.

In other news, today is our 18th anniversary! We are going to make a nice brunch for ourselves, and go out for dinner tonight. We are going to a new to us Italian restaurant that looks really good. We had a good amount of rain overnight, so it will be like a steam bath by this afternoon, but for now, the cool morning fresh air is coming through open windows. It's lovely.

Have a good week!